hotwingeatter

when drinking I have really realized I miss it. I don't do much any more, I find myself thinking about alcohol every weekend. IT brought me no joy in life but I miss getting out meeting people and having a good time. NExt weekwnd I am going to go out, and enjoy myself and other people. and maybe some beer.

brigid

Maybe think twice before doing this. Sure go out and enjoy other people's company, dance, eat, listen to music, whatever you really enjoy doing. JUST DON'T DRINK. Although we really enjoy it, we can't control it, we are not like other people in this respect.

This is a stage I went through. I remember thinking "IS THIS IT?? IS THIS ALL THAT BRINGS HAPPINESS, SEEMS TOO DAM BORING BY FAR!!!". I felt really dark at that time and thought that drug addicts in recovery sometimes commit suicide and that this would be when they did it.

I keep going out to social things, I just don't drink. I also find a good book a real pleasure too. Socialising, I think now, is not always what it used to be cracked up to be in my mind years ago when drinking was my demon.

This might be your alcoholic mind playing with you, good to see you post!

love brigid

j'ade d'arcy

I also relate to this feeling. It's been with me alot these past few weeks. Even though I realize that my life is so much better without the booze, somedays I feel like my life is so boring now. I know that this is my addiction telling me more lies to make me use again, but it is hard to ignore sometimes.

If my life seemed so exciting and wonderful before I became sober, why did I ever want sobriety in the first place. The truth is, my life was not exciting in any normal way before, I was just a miserable drunk going from crisis to crisis. Sometimes I wonder if I am addicted to the chaos as well as the alcohol. I wonder why I would possibly miss that lifestyle in any way, but if I am honest with myself, I have to admit that sometimes I do miss it. I just have to stay strong and realistic!! I don't know if this ramble helps at all, probably not, I just really related to the feelings of boredom.

Please try to regroup and don't drink. Good Luck

4/10/85

Sometimes it does feel tedious, but you are just getting the hang of sobriety and the rewards that come with being present for your life instead of drinking your way through it are worth the adjustment. I have experienced more fun *by far* in sobriety than I ever did drunk. The price for *fun* when I was drunk was too high & in reality not all that fun.
We alcoholics are obsessed with the idea of being able to drink normally & we will not be able to stay sober until we concede that we cannot.
Best of luck to you. You don't have to stay sober until next weekend, just today. Worry about the weekend when it comes.

I just pulled this from the Big Book:

Chapter 3
More About Alcoholism
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals usually brief were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

CarolD

I too am going out with friends....
only we wom't be getting in trouble from drinking.

Can you say the same?

Digger

No such thing as A beer, you are experiencing real life is because you are not drinking!1 beer 20 beers ..NO difference to me .Think very hard about next weekend!! Fun will come, you do not neeb alcohol to have fun, try to be patent it will come
Dave

Five

For me hot, I try to find a way of becoming more at ease in these situations. I always felt either King of the Party, or a Idiot of the Dance. I was a social liability: sulking, skulking, screaming, shouting, being moody etc. All of which depressed me thoroughly. I used to think IF I GET DRUNK/DRUGGED ENOUGH then I will have a great time. Which, as you know made the situation worse. What I try to do in recovery is deal with my emotional problems without drinking. That is the only real hope for me: otherwise it will be more mental and emotional agony because I will be drinking. This is not as hard as it sounds. AA has plenty of tools for helping you deal with “fear of people” etc, so do other programmes such SMART. Don’t drink pal, you know that is a dead end route leading to a situation a hundred times worse than not drinking at social occasions.

Music

Have a good time.

quercusalba

Life is *anything* but boring. In my opinion, drinking is what makes it boring - one boring mishap or regret or hangover after another. When I'm drinking, I am avoiding truly living. I'm not feeling things that I need to feel - good or bad or in-between. When I'm drinking, I'm not thinking clearly or realistically... I'm not having really *genuine* interactions with other human beings... I'm not being who I am truly meant to be. You need to look further than a bottle to find out what is really interesting, engaging, beautiful, and authentically alive. The bottle is at best a smoke screen between you and living - and at worst a thief and destroyer of life. I know these things to be true because I am an alcoholic - and my life is infinitely better without alcohol.

Just my thoughts.

--anne

Five

For me key: You need to look further than a bottle to find out what is really interesting, engaging, beautiful, and authentically al

thanks Quer

quercusalba

You're welcome of course, Five... it's so clear to me - and so key. Walking at sunset last night I was thinking of this very topic - how amazing life really *is*... and how much wonder we miss when we don the blinders of addiction.

Incidentally, thanks for all the SMART stuff... I'm eating it up.

FriendofBill

I was just waiting for Muisc's reply.

Worth the wait.

Turtle

Why don't you go out and have a good time without drinking. Better yet, go make NEW friends that don't drink, that way you won't feel any pressure to have beer. This is your choice and it's a decision you're going to have to live with, and suffer any consequences it may bring.

Do you really want to give this up?

boothj9544

This is just my opinion...
It sounds like you are having a craving to me, I got one a few days ago. I am not going to tell you not to drink, obviously you have to make that decision on your own. What you may want to think about...
What it sounds like to me is that your non-alcoholic self does not really miss drinking. But, your alcoholic self does. You miss the buzz, the carefree attitude, the social ease etc. Remember, There is always going to be some kind of justification for drinking... How do these weight against your won personal reasons for not drinking "Honestly"
Just remember what brought you to this site, what compelled you to want to stop... weight these out with the potential for one night of getting sloppy and I know what decision I would make... and yea, you CAN have just as great a night without it...
I am like you, I think about alcohol a lot on the weekends, everyone else is doing it so why cant I go have fun, right... This is your alcoholic self... first recognize, understand it then overcome it...
I dont judge you, I dont mean to sound like I am preaching... I just have feelings exactly like you said... this is my take on em (kinda)

squirrelly77

I love Music.


But, not to be a thread-stealer...

I agree with what has been said here. When the pain that a few beers ended up ultimately bringing--which ultimately ended up being a total bender--totally outweighed any fun I ever had while drinking--I knew that I had to start doing something about it.

Now, being sober--I actually *laugh* when things are funny--which was totally contrived while drinking. I have a real, honest appreciation for the moment and having fun for fun's sake. Sure, once-upon-a-time I had fun while drinking...who didn't that's an alcoholic? But, being an alcoholic, I had to be completely be beaten into such a state of submission before I learned what "fun" really meant. For me--my health and sanity.

Sad to say--but when people are still able to think of drinking as being fun--they're either an alcoholic--and they're "not done yet" or they aren't an alcoholic. But, that's the conclusion they themselves need to come to. As it has been said "John Barleycorn is our greatest advocate" and as painful as it may be, neither I nor anyone else should do an alcoholic the mis-service of getting in the way of good 'ole John.

BTW--been awhile since I've been over here in yoldy town! Kinda miss the cheery banter!


Danielle

Five

Have a good time mate, let's just hope he doesnt blow his brains out in the process.

FaeryQueen

When I think about drinking I mostly think about choking on my own vomit and that's not fun.

When you have had enough you will do what it takes to stay sober. Then you might realize that what you thought was fun was actually lame and that life among the living is where it's at.

Five

True: people need to find there own time to change.

I certainley did.

Vomit was everywhere. I just hope people decide to change before its too late. Is their a slogan for that? Cant change it, didnt cause it etc...

Fu cking hate this illness.

FaeryQueen

ha ha....you know there is a slogan for everything.

The one that somes to mind is "I was sick and tired of being sick and tired."

first we stayed sober because we have to............
then we stay sober because we are willing to..........
finally we stay sober because we want to.............

My sponsor actually made one of her other sponsees go out and make her own funeral arrangements so the sponsee's grandmother wouldn't have to bother with it when she went back out and died....harsh...harsh.

Peter

And herein contains the great enigma of alcoholism.

You say: "IT (alcohol) brought me no joy in life..." and in the next breath you say you will go out next weekend and drink some beer.

If it brings you no joy, what exactly does it bring you?

As you heard from some of the other members you can go out and meet people......WITHOUT ALCOHOL.

Be honest with yourself. ...perhaps "socializing" just seems like a good excuse to drink.......