Mogqua

Hobo,

Your courage is great and I hope you keep it up by continuing to post.

If your hangovers continually include "the shakes" and great anxiety,
before you try any exercises or step work, seek medical help.

You may need to have a controled detox, so thats best to discuss with a doctor first.

It may be to hard and even dangerous to try and stop abruptly with your body conditioned to your regular use.

If you go to a meeting, just hang loose and let every one know that you are needing support as friends like you have done here and while you take a professionals' (doctor) help.

There will be time to do 'exercises' or take the steps later.
Safety for your physiology is of the most concern now.

Sobriety doesn't happen overnight and the first stage sounds like it is a physical one for you.

I can't stress this enough, that the first advice you get should be from a medical professional.

My greatest hope for you is that you seek medical help, keep posting, sharing,
and getting better and better.

Be Well

Don S

I rummaged through my hard drive and found some old notes I made on this forum a couple of years ago. I was writing to a friend who was drinking heavily, and who was concerned about stopping cold turkey. These were cut and pasted from our thread back then and edited a bit.
-----------------------
Summarized August 22, 2003 03:41 AM [we can talk about the benefits of insomnia another time!]

If you are a heavy, daily drinker who wants to quit...

I am definitely NOT an expert on the medical aspects of quitting drinking [I agree with Mogqua...please talk to your doctor before you go cold turkey!]. I can't think of any reason you can't carefully start drinking LESS than you are now. When I made a commitment to quit drinking, I chose to cut my daily intake in half for two days first to reduce the discomfort associated with sudden abstinence.

If you are drinking medicinally, as many people do, you may be drinking pretty much the same amount of pure alcohol each day--though possibly in forms of differing strengths (beer, wine, spirits). So if you can measure what your daily "dose" is and cut that by 25% it'll certainly be better for your body than what you are presently doing. Then try 50% less. Work your way down if stopping suddenly worries you. But have a 'stop' date, and have that in the near future.

Identifying how much you find "necessary" each day might also be a good first step in determining what benefit you think it provides you. Then maybe you can find other ways to achieve that benefit while tapering down gradually.

Many people find they have worked up to enough alcohol to keep feeling the effects of alcohol throughout their waking hours -- about 10 - 11 oz. of ethanol. This can be up to two gallons of beer, 2 - 3 bottles of wine, or a fifth of any 80 proof liquor such as whiskey, vodka, or br andy.

When you cut your drinking, you can anticipate some sleeplessness, irritability, and perhaps feeling hungry due to the sudden drop in carbohydrates. My eyes felt dry and itchy because there wasn't the alcohol evaporating out of them. I found that small, steady amounts of fruit juice helped even things out, and herbal teas helped make me feel sleepy at bedtime. You've been drinking a LOT of diuretic (substance which make you pee)! Taking that out of your body is going to affect your digestion. With the amount of water you're drinking you might feel bloated at times. Some coffee or tea around meals helped me with that.
-----------------------
I think that the stopping part of drinking can actually be the simplest part of the process. You just stop--either cold turkey [ask your doctor!], or incrementally. There are some discomforts, but they are not unbearable.

It's the staying stopped that can be complicated, primarily because of anxieties we may have about what it will be like to be sober. Inability to cope with stresses, problems breaking the daily patterns that reinforced the drinking, or just dealing with the boredom or restlessness that often comes with early sobriety: those are the things a recovery program can help you with. A day or so into quitting, things we've suppressed may suddenly come to the front of our brains. It's best to plan for that!

Figuring out what benefit alcohol was providing you can be a helpful starting point. Anticipating urges, changing your daily routine, and finding a way to make your commitment to sobriety firm and unshakeable are the keys to success.
------------------------
My kids were (are) a huge motivating factor for me. Two young teenagers needed their dad to be sober. I made them a promise in writing, and recited it word for word until I could simply say it anytime I was tempted to buy a bottle:
"There will be no alcohol in my house or in my body."
Many times those bottles (of wine, in my case) looked very tempting. I could start to rationalize: "well, one bottle would be ok; I need it for a recipe; I can drink a glass and stop there...."
But that absolute rule kept the bottle on the shelf.

The only change I've made to that rule is to add the word "drinkable" in front of alcohol. So I do own Listerine and cooking sherry -- you can decide your own comfort level with things like that -- and when I was given a bottle of good-quality red wine I just poured 3 tablespoons of salt into the bottle as soon as I opened it.

By the way, my (then 14 year old) son walked into the kitchen while I was doing that and said "what on earth are you doing?"
"I'm making this wine undrinkable." He gave me a BIG hug. They care a lot more than they let on.
-----------------
The night you plan to quit, I'd suggest making specific plans for:

--what to do with the time you usually spent drinking. It's a pretty passive activity, and most of us found ourselves pretty restless at first. I found myself stopping at a local bookstore or magazine store almost every day, looking for reading material, and the folks at Blockbuster got to know me on a first-name basis.

--the possibility of negative reactions from those around you. You might be a little antsy or snappish. Your drinking friends might be a little threatened by your change. Some might show relief when you decide to drink, that you're "back to normal." Those are big factors in how we deal with urges.

--how to quiet your rumbling stomach. You've just taken a thousand calories out of your daily diet! This might be a good evening for a high-carbohydrate dinner. Make lasagna! It takes time, is fun to make at home, and fills you up. Plus, people will really be impressed.

--how to get to sleep. Herbal teas and a good, slightly boring book have helped me many nights. Or, just don't worry about the fact that you're up late. I have found I can function just fine on much less sleep than when I was drinking, probably because the quality of sober sleep is more restful.

Again, the next step might be to try and figure out what it is that alcohol was providing you with so that once you have stopped you can stay stopped. Right now, while you're reducing your intake, would be a good opportunity to observe and describe what you're missing. That can be helpful in building the tools to combat urges.

Writing those "benefits" down and posting them here can elicit suggestions from others about how they filled the void once alcohol was out of their system. Part of it is practical--tools and techniques--and part of it is philosophical--learning to NOT think of it as a void.

-------------------------------
I distinctly remember my first night in over 20 years without alcohol. The restlessness seemed pretty overwhelming, and I kept looking at the clock and realizing how little sleep I was getting. That is a particular symptom of "detoxing" that can really be an obstacle for many people: "I can't sleep without a drink."

There are a couple of simple ways to dispute or deflect that. One is to do things that will help you relax--warm bath, book, hot milk, herbal tea, massage, candles, soft music...uh oh, I'm getting carried away here.

Another is to realize that you may be fixating on, and becoming anxious about, your sleeplessness. So stay awake! All night, if that happens. Big deal. Heck, you used to do it in college, right? And you can nap when your body tells you to. Besides, sober sunrises are beautiful. You may be a little less on top of your job tomorrow, but probably not as impaired as if you were drunk. Besides, taking a "sick day" to achieve sobriety isn't unreasonable. After all, you are dealing with a medical condition.

This is part of a broader anxiety about quitting drinking. People are often scared of what life will be like without it. Folks on these forum boards often report fears of boredom, coping with stress, dealing with how other people will react (just wait until we get close to the holidays!), etc. It WILL be uncomfortable, but all of those things are bearable. Dealing with them as separate issues, and ruling out alcohol as the solution to any of them, is an important step.
-----------------------------

If you do lapse--how much did you drink when you finally did? The reason this is important is that you may have found what your body and mind consider to be your dosage. Anything after that is probably maintenance, although for many people the first drink simply starts another long ingestion that doesn't stop until they're asleep in one form or another.

Taking a close look at when you drank and why may be useful to you in identifying what triggers you to start drinking. If you can stop the starting part, you can stop for good. That means recognizing urges and triggers and disputing them until they pass.

After your first day, keep in mind that after about 72 hours without alcohol most of the physiological changes of early sobriety have passed and you are mostly dealing with psychological things. So a 72 hour goal can be an important next step. You've changed your blood sugar patterns, you've started a new sleep cycle, and your body is no longer producing the various enzymes and such that have been required to process a continuous stream of alcohol and carbohydrates. 24 hours is a huge step, and 72 hours is when sobriety really "clicked" for me.

By the way, five days after my 72 hours I decided to have a beer [I don't necessarily recommend this]. I consciously focused on how it made me feel as alcohol reentered my body. My IMMEDIATE reaction was that I wanted another one. So my rational mind kicked in and said "you obviously like alcohol TOO much for just one." Moderation was obviously not for me, and that was the last drink I've had. Or plan to have.

At the risk of repeating myself, there are three things that people who
succeed at sobriety have in comm on:
a commitment to sobriety;
a change in lifestyle;
they plan for urges and practice dealing with them.
--------------------
Sometimes people talk about not being able to quit until they "hit rock bottom." I think most of us can just redefine rock bottom as needed. I'm sure there are plenty of folks on this board who had bad physical and mental effects of alcohol abuse but never, say, ended up on the streets panhandling for their next bottle.
We don't necessarily have to have a life-changing physical (or legal) event in order to find the motivation and make the commitment to get sober.
-------------------
Some of the principles of SMART could be useful to you and others. The simplest one is that our behavior is based on our emotions and beliefs, and if we can change those beliefs we can change our behavior. This seems simple, but it can be a challenge to change the beliefs on which long-established behavior patterns are based.

Some of those beliefs can arise from deeper-seated problems such as self-
esteem issues, anxiety, and depression, so sometimes counseling can help. But just focusing on why you drink and what you believe about drinking, and determining which of those beliefs are irrational, enables you to start disputing them.

Early sobriety (in all programs that I know of) focuses on techniques for changing the behavior. Go to meetings (online or face-to-face), change your diet, start exercising, practice how you'll deal with urges, do some role-playing, etc. But the change in beliefs is what is really happening when sobriety starts to come naturally to us.

In AA, I assume, you come to BELIEVE that you have a disease or are powerless, and you accept (or reaffirm) a BELIEF in a higher power which will help you develop your motivation and commitment. You accept that your life had become unmanageable, and so on. These are things you didn't believe just a few weeks prior. Anyone who has come to a recovery forum board is already making a change in their beliefs about drinking.

So here are some simple beliefs I once held, which I now acknowledge were irrational:
I could drink a small amount of alcohol and stop.
I could moderate my drinking.
Drinking wasn't really affecting my health.
If there was alcohol in the house, I wouldn't necessarily drink it, so it was okay to buy extra bottles.
People didn't really notice or mind when I'd been drinking.

All of those beliefs were just untrue, and disputing them proved to be pretty easy because they were specific. But it's amazing how long we can hold onto them! Getting an outside perspective--your doctor, your girlfriend, a counselor--can help you realize that beliefs such as these are irrational.

Getting a little "deeper," I believed:
Daily drinking helped reduce my anxiety and depression.
My love life was better when we've been drinking.
I was more creative/sociable/accomplished/confident when I'd had some alcohol (or pot, or...)
Drinking relaxed the part of my brain that worries about work, finances, etc.
I couldn't spend an evening without at least some alcohol.
It would be very uncomfortable to quit drinking.

These are more general, and there may be some truth to these types of beliefs. So disputing them became a matter of finding and believing a rebuttal to the statement. Avoiding absolute and demanding words like "should, must, couldn't, can't" can be a useful tool. Avoiding overstating how awful things are or will be is another.

So while it may be uncomfortable to quit drinking, it won't be TOO uncomfortable and I CAN bear it. Daily drinking temporarily reduced the symptoms of my anxiety, but increased it in the long run. An accurate appraisal of my piano playing when sober was that it was sharper and there are fewer errors. And so on.

If you're having trouble figuring out what you believe about alcohol, a simple technique is to do a cost-benefit analysis (CBA). Take a sheet of paper and make a line down the middle. Write down the things you know alcohol "costs" you on one side--money, health, etc. Write down the benefits you get from drinking on the other.

People often get stumped here --at the part about writing down the benefits of drinking -- because they've decided drinking isn't good for them so it's hard to focus on what you LIKE about alcohol. But even if the behavior has become almost a mechanical process, there is (or was) some benefit we perceive. Finding other ways to achieve those benefits is what we mean when we say that changing your lifestyle is part of ac hieving sobriety.

Another tool used in SMART is called an ABC. Some people drink in response to specific triggers, or because of emotional upsets. If you can identify the activating event (A) which led to your condition (C), then you can identify the irrational belief (B) which you need to dispute (D). The goal is to come to an effective (E) new belief and thereby reduce our stress. It's a great tool for dealing with the things that upset us. For daily, medicinal drinkers like myself this didn't seem that practical--after all, I drank every day, the same amount, so how can I find an activating event?

But you can apply an ABC to specific drinking events; in fact, finding the trigger can be important to changing your daily pattern of heavy drinking. It can be very useful when you have a lapse early in the process of reducing or quitting your drinking.

What starts it? Ok, an example. Someone brings a six pack of beer or a bottle of wine to your house... why do you open the can or bottle when it is handed to you? Do you believe your friend won't accept that you are now sober? So the condition (C) may be anxiety about the response, and the social situation is the activating event (A).

It is surprising how often this comes up; just check the different forum board around the holidays! What am I going to do when ___ (my boss, my mother-in-law, my loudmouthed friend in a restaurant) offers me a drink? How will I explain it? What will people think?
Dispute the beliefs by asking questions: So, is it true that someone will be offended when you decline a beer or glass of wine? Probably not, so that belief (B) is irrational. You can do some roleplaying, practicing what you're going to say when it is put in front of you. But first you can dispute (D) the belief.

Those are some tools you can add to your arsenal. An important one to use when you lapse or face a strong urge is PPP, which applies to ANY recovery program: practice, patience, and persistence. You're changing behavior which took you a long time to develop. It will take time --practice -- to believe and behave differently. Be patient with yourself. Be persistent about disputing the underlying unhealthy beliefs, and about repeating your stated goal of abstinence.
-----------------------
One of the first things I did when I quit was to make a daily note of the money I would have spent that day on alcohol. Then I took the savings and spent them on some simple treats for myself and my kids--good ice cream,
dinner out, or some really good coffee.

I made a point of trying to stop and notice the things I hadn't noticed for a long time. I try to get outside early in the morning, just to remind myself what a great time of the day it is when you're sober. In my case, since I'm a gardener, I literally stop and smell the roses! Or the lilies, almond blossoms, or tomatoes. Appreciating good coffee as a pleasure, rather than a way of jump-starting my fogged brain, is definitely one of those perks (pun intended) of sobriety.

Identifying the habitual drinking times and shaking them up was very effective for me.
The next step was identifying what drinking did for me, and trying to find more effective ways of getting those purported benefits--or disputing whether they are really benefits at all! (Example: alcohol helps me sleep? Wrong! Passing out isn't very effective sleep...).

It's interesting how few benefits we can come up with for drinking when we try to! So, why on earth did we ever start? For most of us, by the time we decide we should quit drinking it has become such a firmly imprinted behavior that we do it automatically. So it can be hard to take a step back and look at what this drug is doing to our brain.

Alcohol is a depressant which relaxes certain parts of your brain functions. For some of us it reduces anxiety, which can make us feel more effective in social situations. For others (business people like myself, for example) it allows us to stop "worrying" temporarily about all the many things we juggle at work and in our lives. I've heard one individual link her drinking to her anger. Others mention life events which are emotionally distressing, and drinking may be a way of coping with that.

The mechanical part of stopping drinking is pretty simple. For people who never drink, or who can drink moderately, it must seem like we're making a big deal out of that "simple" process. Get rid of what's in the house, don't buy any more, and stay out of places where it might be served. Support from others obviously enhances your commitment--meetings, forum boards, family and friends can all support your new decision. That's the stopping part. It's the staying stopped that defines long-term sobriety.

A lot of people--even long-time, heavy drinkers--can quit for a while. But folks in every recovery program often report lapses after days or weeks or months sober. So something has undermined the commitment. Some might say that it's because you let down your guard. In my opinion it is partly because you perceived, whether consciously or not, a benefit from drinking, and partly because you didn't plan for and practice for the urge.

When you've developed alternative ways of relaxing, or dealing with anxious situations, or whatever it is that alcohol "helps" you cope with, those urges can be easier to deal with. If you've changed your daily routine, the temptation is less likely to face you at familiar ti mes. An hour on the forum board can replace an hour drinking in front of the TV!

Cutting your drinking gradually can be very rational physiologically. It takes a lot of willpower--more, I think, than quitting cold turkey, because you're continuing to "dose" yourself with your medicine every day.

So that's why I keep asking what the benefit is--what is it that you're getting from the amount, even reduced, which you're still drinking? Part of it is that your body wants it. Scientists would tell you that your dopamine receptors are still clamoring for it, so giving them (the receptors, that is) less and less can be an effective way to prepare them for abstinence. But there is still an unmet psychological or emotional (or some might say spiritual...) issue to deal with.

You still really, really want to drink? Just this once, just a little, just because today is special? Drinking is kind of like a love affair that you know you should end, but you keep going back for a little more....So perhaps it's time to say goodbye for good. No more last flings, not even just being friends....just a clean break, a firm goodbye, and no looking back....

Don S

Mogqua

Quote:

I think that the stopping part of drinking can actually be the simplest part of the process. You just stop--either cold turkey [ask your doctor!], or incrementally. There are some discomforts, but they are not unbearable.
-Don S.

Cold turkey can be very dangerous.
Cumulative factors of intake over time and other unknown body chemistry can make it more than unbearable and extremely hard,
especially when some add implied shame and try to tell you how easy it is to "just do it" and bear it.

Simple things like electrolites and serious things like seizures can be equally dangerous.

If it was so simple to just stop than most of us would have done that.
For some of us, it had even become physically impossible.

Hobo seems to be in the class where its not as easy as a simple 'heavy drinker' may think.

Please Hobo,
At this point, just quit listening to all of us and go talk with a doctor.
The courage you show by posting and asking for help is great.
You are worth the effort it takes to do this.


Be Well

Don S

Who, I might ask, do you think is a 'simple' heavy drinker, Mogqua? Now you're being patronizing again. 'Implied shame'?! What's that all about?
Most DID 'just do that': they just quit.
The risk of seizure and other complications is real, but it is rare.
Yes, call your doctor (which I think I mentioned at least twice in my post). There's also information online about what to expect and what to watch for. It may be useful to have a friend in your presence for the first 24 hours or so. No, don't 'quit listening to all of us'. And don't let this concern keep you drinking. You can reduce your drinking right away.

Don S

Symptoms of Alcohol Withdrawal
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withdraw/a/aa030307a.htm

Withdrawals Can Be Mild, Moderate or Severe
Alcohol withdrawal refers to a group of symptoms that may occur from suddenly stopping the use of alcohol after chronic or prolonged ingestion.

Not everyone who stops drinking experiences withdrawal symptoms, but most people who have been drinking for a long period of time, or drinking frequently, or drink heavily when they do drink, will experience some form of withdrawal symptoms if they stop drinking suddenly.

There is no way to predict how any individual will respond to quitting. If you plan to stop drinking and you have been drinking for years, or if you drink heavily when you do drink, or even if you drink moderately but frequently, you should consult a medical professional before going "cold turkey."

For more information about withdrawals, see Alcohol Withdrawal.



Withdrawal Symptoms:


Mild to moderate psychological symptoms:

Feeling of jumpiness or nervousness
Feeling of shakiness
Anxiety
Irritability or easily excited
Emotional volatility, rapid emotional changes
Depression
Fatigue
Difficulty with thinking clearly
Bad dreams


Mild to moderate physical symptoms:

Headache - general, pulsating
Sweating, especially the palms of the hands or the face
Nausea
Vomiting
Loss of appetite
Insomnia, sleeping difficulty
Paleness
Rapid heart rate (palpitations)
Eyes, pupils different size (enlarged, dilated pupils)
Skin, clammy
Abnormal movements

Tremor of the hands
Involuntary, abnormal movements of the eyelids



Severe symptoms:

A state of confusion and hallucinations (visual) -- known as delirium tremens
Agitation
Fever
Convulsions
"Black outs" -- when the person forgets what happened during the drinking episode
Source: National Institutes of Health



More About Alcohol Withdrawal
Alcohol Withdrawal
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withd.../aa000125a.htm

Symptoms Can Range from Mild to Life-Threatening
When heavy or frequent drinkers suddenly decide to quit "cold turkey" they will experience some physical withdrawal symptoms -- which can range from the mildly annoying to severe and even life-threatening.

The severity of these withdrawal symptoms is usually dependent upon how "chemically dependent" the chronic drinker has become. Those who drink heavily on a daily basis of course have developed a high level of dependency, but even those who drink daily, but not heavily and those who drink heavily but not daily, can also be chemically dependent upon alcohol.

When someone who has become "alcohol dependent" decides to stop drinking, they will experience some level of physical discomfort. For this reason, it is extremely difficult for them to merely stop drinking "on their own" without assistance and support.

'Never Again'
The scenario has been played over and over many times.

After a particularly damaging or embarrassing binge, the hungover person will make an oath to himself and others to drink "never again" and quite often is sincere about quitting.

But with the onset of withdrawal symptoms, also comes the "craving" for more alcohol. The body is telling the drinker that it "needs" alcohol. As the physical symptoms of withdrawal begin to increase, taking another drink simply becomes less painful than not taking one -- or so it seems at the time.

For those who have committed themselves to not drinking again, or forced by circumstances to not have access to alcohol, the struggle to fight the withdrawal symptoms can become a dangerous battle, one that can actually become life threatening.



The Shakes
For some, who are less chemically dependent, withdrawal symptoms might be as "mild" as merely getting the shakes, or the sweats -- or perhaps nausea, headache, anxiety, a rapid heart beat, and increased blood pressure.

Although these symptoms are uncomfortable and irritating, they are not necessarily dangerous. But they are often accompanied by the "craving" for more alcohol, making the decision to continue abstinence much more difficult to make.

Even the "morning after" hangover of someone who only occasionally drinks to excess, is actually a mild form of alcohol withdrawal from the excesses of the night before, as the alcohol content of their blood begins to drop. The symptoms can appear within a few hours after not drinking.



The DT's
However, within six to 48 hours after not drinking, hallucinations may develop. These usually are visual hallucinations but they can also involve sounds and smells. They can last for a few hours up to weeks at a time.

Also within this time frame after quitting, convulsions or seizures can occur, which is the point at which alcohol withdrawal can become dangerous, if not medically treated. The symptoms may progress to delirium tremens (DT's) after three to five days without alcohol. The symptoms of DT's include profound confusion, disorientation, hallucinations, hyperactivity, and extreme cardiovascular disturbances.

Once DT's begin, there is no known medical treatment to stop them. Grand mal seizures, heart attacks and stroke can occur during the DT's, all of which can be fatal.



Getting Treatment
The good news for those who are extremely alcohol dependent, and who wish to quit drinking, all of these symptoms can be alleviated and even eliminated with proper medical treatment.

Typically, for those who are mildly dependent doses of vitamins (Thiamin) and a proper diet will prevent most of the mild withdrawal symptoms from occurring. For the severely dependent, medication can be administered, but only by a physician. One approach is to substitute Valium for alcohol and gradually reduce the dosage until the patient is drug free.

If you are a heavy drinker and want to quit, consult a trained medical professional, and be honest about your usual alcohol intake. The psychological withdrawal is enough to deal with, without also having to fight the physical symptoms.

You don't have to do it "on your own" to prove anything to anyone. Help is available, take advantage of it.

Chy

I'm very glad to see you Hobo and I'm so sorry your still struggling. It's what the disease does to us Hobo. It's worn you down to a miserable, lonely, sad drunk, just as it did me. I was just as miserable, just as lonely, just as sad. I felt hopless and alone and didn't think I'd ever in a million years be able to quit. I couldn't deal with the hangovers either and yet not understand why I kept doing that to myself. I knew to feel better I just shouldn't drink. I knew if I wanted I just shouldn't drink. I knew if I wanted to find the old me I just shouldn't drink. I thought and knew that the last 10 years of my drinking and that's how long it took me. Once I truly was done being sick and tired of being sick and tired I was done. You'll be done when your ready, your still here reading and hopefully gaining strength. We're here, we know what your going through and though you don't know it we do for you, yes, you can do this. *hugs*

Hobo

Thanks Brigid, and Autumn, and Chy, and everyone else and especially Don S for responding to me and taking the time to think about me and give me advice. I have not stopped drinking since I posted the other day and I don't want to insult the members of this group by posting drunk and making a mockery of Sober Recovery so I'll try to keep this legible.

I will continue to read everyone's posts on this site and I will continue with my plan to recover. My sister admitted to me two nights ago that she thinks I am an alcoholic, and that combined with my own (independent of her) decision to post on this site really drives home the fact that I am in tough shape.

I made an attempt to go to a meeting tonight (like many of you suggested) and typical of me I got lost and could't find the place. So I went and bought some beer, and now am disappointed in myself.

Don: I know you've already provided me with lots of valuable links, but do you have access to a website that lists where AA meetings are, and when (I'm in the Boston area, but I guess that's obvious by my profile!)?

Like I've said in previous posts, I have been reading Sober Recover for a long time, but I feel serious about quitting now like I've never felt before, even when I thought I was. Since I am drunk as I post this, and I anticipate being drunk again tomorrow I won't insult all of you by logging on and giving you drunken ramblings. But if anyone has a list of meetings that I coud use, I'd love to check in after I've attended a few and get your thoughts.

Someone said on this site that no one understands alcoholism liek other alcoholics, and I think that is so true. I've nodded my head as I read many of your posts and felt like I know many of you. The lonliness and fear that comes along with alcoholism is something I can't find the words to explain to others, unless they've undegone alcoholism themselves. This site gives me so much hope.

Hobo

I forgot to thank Michael and Mogqua and Carol and Jlo, and others whose online neames I can't remember... This is probably a boring post but it means so much to me that you took the time to respond. I've been re-reading what you've said to me. God bless you.

Don S

Hi, Hobo,
Boston AA has a great web site:
http://www.aaboston.org/meetings.asp
Thanks for posting again. I've been thinking about you and hoping you're doing ok.
If you're interested, here's a link to SMART Recovery meetings; click on the state for a list of meetings near you:
http://smartrecovery.org/face2face.htm

The thing to focus on is what you were thinking at the moment of decision: you got lost, so you went and bought some beer instead. What can you do next time when you get frustrated that way?
Take care, and please keep posting,
Don S

best

Hobo
Here is a start

http://www.aaemass.org/localaameetings.html

It gives phone numbers that will get you info about local meetings.

best

Don gave the better one.

Hobo

Thanks Don, that link is exactly what I needed. I'm going tomorrow

Hobo

Thank you as well Best. I am clinging to this site like a life jacket

Autumn

Glad you came back!!

When I went to an AA meeting about a month ago, I found the place deserted. Luckily I had a cell phone on me to find another one. Next time you go, make sure you write down a few different meeting locations in advance. Also, you can get good directions online.... www.mapquest.com is one option.

Things are looking up for you! You might be drunk until you decide to finally quit, but keep posting anyway. You want to quit, and that's all that matters.

Don S

Hey, Hobo, do you think your sister is someone you could check in with each day, just to say hi and talk about how things are going? It really helps to have that daily support.
Forums are good for that, too....:-)
Don

CarolD

Hello Hobo...
It is members who are seeking answers that keep me posting here.
To me...
the still suffering alcoholic is the most important person at SR.

Have you read the sticky near the top
"'Quitting ...what to expect"?

Blessings...

Five

When something is not getting through to my sometimes active, fearful mind – I do this: I read or listen to what is being said VERY closely into it makes sense. I can read or hear words that don’t settle in my mind – I am too busy dismissing them because of my state of mind. Take this from 2dayzmuse:

(((Hobo)))

You are not alone in the way you feel. Most of us drank alone and were lonely. The anxiety that overwhelms us when we stop drinking is real and is very scary. I was paralyzed by its affects. However, I was able to overcome it. Take it one day at a time. Don't drink. Don't drink tomorrow. Come here and post and look into going to an AA meeting in your area. Things will never change unless you take the next step. If you really want to quit drinking you will do it. You are on the right path by coming here and posting. Keep coming back. There is a solution.

You maybe glancing over these things that people have written – I am a “glance over artist” myself. But if you really take IN what 2dayzmuse is saying, and grasp it, by thinking it through, staring at it, PROCESSING it, and then acting on it, then you will be well on your way to a better life.

The advice here is not just whishy washy advice – it has been nurtured over years of trial and error and knowledge.

Robosapien

Good to see you keep coming back Hobo.
Keep doing what you are doing and it will get better.
I think Mogqua was saying don't take medical advice from anybody but a medical pro.
Thats good advice.

Some really good suggestions have been written here and all the hoohah-I know everything a doctor knows is the only thing I suggest you don't take as gospel. Its condescending to the medical pros and only you and doctor can figure whats best for you.

Take it one day at a time and even one minute at a time.
Some of us still remember how hard it was to quit. How impossible it feels.
How all the other things make it feel worse.

I got faith in you.
One minute at a time.
Peace.

brigid

I found it really liberating to pour alcohol down the kitchen sink felt really good. Great to hear you are looking for a meeting. Keep it up, you will get there, keep posting, love to hear how you are going.

love brigid

Hobo

I went to 3 meetings and didnt drink for 3 days. Then I bought some beer and got drunk and here I am one week later. I am unfixable but thank you for your messages. I am a worthless cause