Beacon

I have been sober three weeks now, and I am very happy that I have made the change in my life. Lately though I find myself getting angry when I think about my drinking problem. I almost say to myself it is not fair that I can’t be “normal”. Why do I have to go through cravings, and anxiety, and the daily conversation with myself that asks the question “you gonna have anything to drink today?” I’m at the point where its like “enough already!!!” I’m not droning here, I am simply frustrated.

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Frustrated with my mind racing at night,

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frustrated with getting the jitters when I’m alone in the house,

frustrated with the cravings,

frustrated wi the anxiety,
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frustrated watching other people who can have one beer,

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frustrated with people asking me why I am not drinking,

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frustrated with every beer commercial I have to watch during the Yankee game,

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frustrated with not wanting to go to weddings, parties, etc.

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frustrated with the people closest to me not being able to understand what it feels like,

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Thanks for letting me rant a little:yelling

CarolD

remember those early days of recovery...Yes! it was a Yuk.

Here is an idea...stay sober 90 or so days and see if you find life less of a drag.

You can always resume drinking again but do give yourself a fair chance to decide with a clear mind.

Blessings...

wozzek

A brain is a dangerous little devil. This looks like a "build up for a drink" that I had been going through (as explained in the book I quoted below) also. I am 45 and have NEVER ever been with some "beautiful woman" sipping the glass of wine, engaged in a seducing game but this image was my Siren lure, like in "why can't I be normal". Normal my ...

Now I play a little game with the monster when it calls me back. I laugh at myself by laughing at him. You want a drink, ha!! No, you're not going to get it - nice try anyway.

It helps, knowing that this is just a complex trick that your craving brain uses to trick you into the drink...

Andygirl

It really sucks at first. That's just a fact.

Try to have a little patience, and it will get better. I didn't believe that, but I'm beginning to. I am at 97 days clean and sober and I never thought I could have fun without drugs and alcohol. I have had fun though, it's different fun, but I'm a happier person now.

Sometimes quitting has felt like a huge sacrifice, but more and more I realize that I'm lucky and that I have a chance to do something with my life besides get ****** up all of the time. And no more hangovers is a nice side effect too.

michaelj

Beacon,
You rant away, if it makes you feel better you deserve a moan after three weeks sober. I know how hard it is and how your mind starts to play tricks with you. When I first came to this site I received a message from another member poining me towards the Rational Recovery website. The very simple programme they espouse worked tremendously well for me and Wozzek has encapsulated it in his post. Give it a try and if it works for you that's great. If it doesn't you will only have wasted about twenty minutes.
Before I finish I would recommend that you take your list of frustrations and balance it against a list of benefits from sobriety. The balance should weigh heavily in sobriety's favour.
Best wishes
Michael

Beacon

Thank you for the support. You all make a great deal of sense. It is a very complex thing the brain is doing to me, and I agree that it is probebly a build up toward a relapse.


I have no intention of giving in.

Beacon

Also,


MichaelJ: I accidently clicked the abusive post button when I was going to write my response. I hope nobody gives you a hard time. I wrote an email explaining that it was a mistake. Sorry
Your post was both thoughtful and helpful.

Beacon

Chy

So all is good? *LOL*