ArthurDent

Just a quick note as I'm off to work soon.

What a rotten night! Couldn't sleep at all - my mind was running like a ... well, one of those things that runs fast all the time. The hot and cold sweat thing got worse, weird dreams, then the world starts waking up and it's too late to try to sleep any more. (The little birdies - I could strangle the little birdies!) Well, my head's clearer and doesn't ache, and my body feels lighter and 'skippier'. Everything else will calm down once it gets used to it.

Remembered an amusing but relevant part from So Long & Thanks For All The Fish (the fourth book in the Hitchiker's Guide trilogy). It says a lot about coping not with feeling bad, but with ... oh, you can work it out for yourself;When you struggle to cope with the good moments in your life, it's getting better!

Have a good day all, and I'll look in later. Many thanks again for being here for me, for each other, and for yourselves.

I won't want a drink today, and if I do, I won't act on the thought. That's different!

stone

Here I am on day 6 and all the positive, happy fellings of the last few days have gone out the window, they now seem like a cruel joke. Feel bad mentally and physically, I guess the honeymoon period has ended-time to grit my teeth I suppose-bah!
I feel like beating the waiter to death with the damn swordfish

findingout

Hey stonerat
Yep, this is the part where you grit your teeth and do whatever it takes to get through this day without drinking. When you've made it to the end of this day and you are still sober, you just had a good day because you did not pick up. No matter how bad it was in any other respect, you had a good day because you did not pick up.

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

Dan

Like Tony says...
Word

ArthurDent

Still trying to get to work..! (I can choose my own hours, so it's ok).

Definitiely, go through that crap day Stonerat. Endure it if you have to, grit your teeth, stamp your foot (works for most girls I know! ) - whatever you have to do to feel like you are enduring, except act on the thought to buy, or pick up, or accept, an alcoholic drink of any kind.

Tomorrow you may not feel so off colour. Then again you might. But you won't know until you get there, so deal with today. How about finding something different to do and just hate doing it..? Do it anyway!

I know you can give up the terrible desire to get a drink, because you've been doing it.

Don't forget that until you're well detoxed - perhaps weeks from now - you will have ups and downs. Me too. Bummer, but better than slow numb death and misery, eh? And you come out the other side being and feeling as nature intended you to.

Incidentally, I was honest with a mate at work about all this, told him about the forum, etc., and he wants to hang out with me not drinking any more. He's been in the same boat but was having trouble admitting it.

I don't think we're a minority, you know...

In memory of miracle

Welcome to sobriety! Hang on and enjoy the ride !

stone

I will remember that as one of my mantras

ArthurDent

Home from work, and I am angry. Well, I was an hour ago - I'm ok now.

I hard a hard day walking all around a town in the hot sun (even warm days are too hot for me) and by the end of the day I wanted a cold beer, damnit. Well, actually a couple of cold beers. Mayebe three. Ok, whiskey to follow - truth told. I got angry because I'd told myself I wouldn't, but also angry because I'd backed myself into a corner money-wise. If I buy anything at all before next Monday I get mounting and nasty bank charges.

Would I have caved in and stopped at the shop on the way home? I don't really know. Maybe I backed myself into a corner deliberately, to give me at least ten days to get myself clear enough not to start drinking again. Will ten days be enough?

Well, one thing's for sure; it's a nice cup of tea and a pasta dinner for me now, so that's the deal for tonight!

2dayzmuse

No matter how bad I feel today, I would feel far worse if I were to pick up. That's something I've learned through experience.

ArthurDent

Too true, and thanks for helping remind me.

Beacon

You are not alone in the way you feel. I just finished my first week, and I was feeling great. Last night I could not sleep again. Came in and out with strange dreams. I feel slow and lethargic today...dull, not in control...but I have to believe it will turn again!!!

I felt better on days 5 and 6 then I have felt in 10 years, and I believe that that feeling is coming back.

I am equating the way I feel to a 1957 Corvette that has been sitting in the garage for 30 years. You have to kick it over a few times, let it blow the dust out and get the juices flowing...then make sure you take good care of it.

Anyway that's what I'm going to do!!!

I truly hope you feel better! You are not alone by a long shot.

stone

Thanks Beacon I do feel better, not great but better and I know you will get the good feeling back too. A bad night with weird dreams can affect you all the next day, it's gonna be up and down this early on.
Paul.

ArthurDent

It's all good, even the rough parts, when you're giving up poison.

Thanks guys and girls, and a peaceful night to you as I head for bed at the end of another lovely, light, free day. Love you all for being here.