Issheintrouble?

Please help me i plan on confronting her on a serious conversation in a week or two. I realize by doing so i will risk ending the relationship but i also know i refuse to be in a long term relationship this way.

To summarize her.
perfectly functional, successful, great mom, greast friend has her **** together.
however, drinks 4 nights per week and often up to 6 drinks.
in last 8 months 5 times had black out and didn't remmeber night before upon waking.
when 3drinks + picks fights with me and gets mad

i am seekign some suggestions to tackfully let her know i think she has a issue, give her proof that it exists vs "just me thinking so" and figure out how to tell her if "she" wants to change i will help her other wise i can't be in this relationshiop

Live

Have you read the stickies at the tops of the friends and families forums? And in Nar-anon? I would suggest that. They are very informational. I don't have any good advice here. I think someone has all ready said that you cannot convince someone else they have a problem with alcohol or drugs. You have every right to explain what you have observed and how it troubles you. What she does with that is totally out of your hands.
I can feel your confusion and your care and concern. Please take care of first things first, and that is your well-being. It is such a shame when one or more people lose their health over one using...but that is how the cycle goes. Statistically, it drastically messes up about 5 people.

AndrewBeen

Even if you are 100% sure, you cannot pass judgement on your friend. It could backfire.

What I would suggest is to:
1) share your own feelings of late
2) let her know you are there for her should help be needed

Examples:
1) "when i hear of you blacking out i become concerned for your health and well being"
2) "i am there for you if you wanted someone to talk to about this, or if you have any concerns"

I know it seems somewhat subtle but it is a way of broaching the issue without confrontation.

As you might guess I am not a big fan of the confrontational intervention.

FriendofBill

Andrewbeen gave great suggestions. ALwys use "I" messages if you want to be heard. No accusing, no "You this, you that".

Thats the good news.....the bad news is...........you gotta be prepared to let go right after the conversation. If she is in denial, she will not take it seriously and not seek help, or she will agree to do something, and then wont do it.

Let go. Nothing you do or say will get her sober. You must then find a way to have a life, with her or with out her, and yet stay out of her disease.

To help, try al anon.....saves my life on a daily basis. Good luck.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/