Myway

Well i guess to give a little background, i have been drinking on weekends for probably close to 15 years. I have been through 3 serious long term relationships. At first i was young so these relationships i figured were more about growing up than about my problems with drinking. But now after 5 years and an engagement, which i'm pretty sure is about to come to a close. when does one decide "its time to quite all together?" . I am a binge drinker that has alchoholism in the family, my mother was a 24/7 drinker and has now been sober for probably 10 years. I'm 30 years old and am active with sports and love to have a cold one after these events, i have a hard time thinking about life without a beer since that has been the bulk of my buddy time, going for a pint! If i drink excessively i become something that i'm not, a brain dead fool. I don't always get totally smashed but sometimes it's like i turn off the switch and just let to booze take over. I know that the cardinal rule is that you can never drink again, but i'm afraid of that step. Any suggestions would be great, sorry for the long post but i needed to get this off my chest.

Anna

Hi Myway,

Welcome! It is scary to say that you'll never drink again. In fact, I fought that idea so hard I was determined to be able to drink occasionally. Of course, it never worked for very long and things got worse and worse. Don't think of forever because it can be simply overwhelming. Just stay sober for today and deal with tomorrow when it comes. It really helps.

Anna

CarolD

Welcome to SR!


Moderatiom mever worked for me. And I certainly did try! But...

Check out this link for Moderation Mangement.

http://rrci.net/recovery_spectrum.htm

Good Luck...

Don W

Hi myway, welcome to SR. I know you might not think this way now but, you have the answer to your own question. With this post you've started to seek the answer. I'll close with, How much more do you want to suffer and lose? Join us in recovery. Even if you want to drink, I still do after 2 years at times, you don't have to. Learn the tools and use the tools. Again welcome, and I need you. Glad your here. Don W

AndrewBeen

Moderation never worked. And I sure as hell gave it a try!

2dayzmuse

How much pain? That's a good question. I guess it's different for each individual. Some more than others. For myself, it took alot. More than I cared to endure. It was my choice however, I did it to myself. I hurt until I couldn't stand it anymore physically, mentally or emotionally. Then...I'd take it down a notch. I'd hit a new low. I finally reached a point knowing, if I didn't quit, I would die drunk. In a strange way, I'm grateful for the pain. It inspired me to get sober. I wanted to rid myself of the self-inflicted burden of agony. I will always be an alcoholic, but I can do something about it. I can quit drinking. I can quit feeding my addiction. Feeling the pain has brought me to where I am today. Sober and feeling free and alive. There is a solution. You just have to find it and utilize it.

Music

The only answer I can give you is that it takes as much pain as it takes to make you give up. When I came to AA, I didn't know what AA had in store for me but I knew what drinking was doing. Drinking scared me more than AA did. All I knew was that I didn't want any more of what I was getting when I drank. When you reach that point, you'll do what you have to do....relationship or not.

Dan

Hi Myway, and welcome.
Not to be trite, but the cardinal rule of you can never drink again never worked for me. Way too big.
I can't drink today. Period.

And to help me along in that reachable goal, there's much I can do.
Peer support, counseling, etc...
Wishing you well for today.

chris k

How much do you want? You can do it the hard way, stopping now, or the EASY WAY, drink until everything in your life is gone,then when its just You and God, if your still breathing, you can give up all together. I did it the easy way, damn near died. I went to AA, got a sponsor, and put the steps to work in my life, i dont drink one day at a time. chris k sd 8-2-1992

icecream pete

Hi Myway,

Glad you are here. Two points really echoing what has already been said. Firstly, don't drink, just one day at a time. I know it is an exhausted phrase but its true and it works. Trying to look at forever is way too scary. For me I know how crap I will feel within hours of drinking, that helps keep me sober, today.

I recently stopped for 70 days took one drink and carried on for another hundred.

Secondly, how much pain? Booze does not care how much you have to endure, it is quite happy to see you kill yourself and in time you and the rest of us will unless we stop. Trust me , it really is not worth finding out how painful it can get, it knows no limits.

If you are asking the question you probably know the answer. This site is a great resource and the people here have either been through or are going through the same as you. Stay strong.

Pete

michaelj

Myway,
I can only echo what has been said by those above. I used only to drink at weekends but slowly alcohol became a bigger and bigger part of my life until in the end my life was ruled by the next drink.
I got to the stage where I didn't care if I lived or died and that is truly terrifying. It is however true to say that you can only give up if you want it. Unless you truly want to live a sober life then your sobriety will be short lived.
Best wishes
Michael

Trooper

when on the road to recovery, like driving on any road, you can only see a little ahead of you.
To 'never drink again' is in all our pictures, but as the old saying truthfully goes,
ONE DAY AT A TIME
Keep coming back to the forum and read posts & replies. It is a tremendous help.

Myway

Although, i may not drink as much as some, i have drank enough to know that is causing problems. I will try the road the many likely do with moderation but in the end i'm sure i'll be back for the final solution of abstinance. thank you all for sharing and it is nice to talk about this with people, and i don't feel embarassed about what we have in common, a nasty diasease!

mikee

insanity is: repeating the same behavior, over and over again, expecting different results. I've got 25yrs of insanity to prove it.

NoMoBeer

I had to hit my bottom before I stayed in AA... MY bottom.

My bottom was when I decided to stop digging.

I didn't quit drinking forever, either. I just don't drink today. If it's today, I don't drink. Maybe I'll drink tomorrow, but if tomorrow comes, and I look at my watch, and it's today, I won't drink for that day....

Ken

Gabe

Ken, I am so glad I have you in my treasure box.
Thanks for that.

earlybird

There is nothing more ridiculous sounding than alcoholics trying controlled drinking. For alcoholics,....since when has "controlled" drinking EVER been enjoyable? You may be able to control it (for a while) but I guarentee, it wont be enjoyed drinking. Think about this also,....if one has to TRY to control ones drinking, that one probably has a drinking problem. Normal drinkers dont have to try and limit their drinking.