Drinking and Anxiety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
Drinking and Anxiety
I used to drink just to drink.. as a kid, it was "cool" and what not (If I knew then what I know now), but later, it was just something that went along with mowing the lawn, going in the pool, watching a movie, going to work (I work in my garage)....
I've tried to quit twice now since mid June'ish, and both times I felt great as far as more time and energy for things. I felt more motivated and accomplished much more. But it always seems that after a few days, I have a very anxious day... Like my stomach is full of nerves over stupid things.
I'm not sure if it's a feeling of nausia over the fact that with all the stuff I have gotten done, there's still so much to do... how will I ever finish.. I mean in my head, I'm happy, but there is all this anxiety that's not there the previous few days....
But that's been twice now and that that's where I've given in and grabbed the first beer. And I have to be honest, it does make my nerves go away... even just the one. So is it a chemical thing that I just have to get past, or is it something in my head... Is that a true "craving" that I'd get anxious over having one?... I really don't want one, so it doesn't feel like a craving, but I know it'll help my belly.
So I just can't seem to get past 4 or 5 days. I havn't been all out drunk or anything... I've taken some control and am still so much better mentally and physically than I ever could have dreamed a month ago, but I'm going to stop totally again today and was hoping for some input on this. I don't look forward to those feelings...
And please don't feel like you are beating a dead horse with me... I so don't want it to be like,"oh, it's Rimmy again..." I know it's about me letting myself down, but to me, it's also about letting you down.
I've tried to quit twice now since mid June'ish, and both times I felt great as far as more time and energy for things. I felt more motivated and accomplished much more. But it always seems that after a few days, I have a very anxious day... Like my stomach is full of nerves over stupid things.
I'm not sure if it's a feeling of nausia over the fact that with all the stuff I have gotten done, there's still so much to do... how will I ever finish.. I mean in my head, I'm happy, but there is all this anxiety that's not there the previous few days....
But that's been twice now and that that's where I've given in and grabbed the first beer. And I have to be honest, it does make my nerves go away... even just the one. So is it a chemical thing that I just have to get past, or is it something in my head... Is that a true "craving" that I'd get anxious over having one?... I really don't want one, so it doesn't feel like a craving, but I know it'll help my belly.
So I just can't seem to get past 4 or 5 days. I havn't been all out drunk or anything... I've taken some control and am still so much better mentally and physically than I ever could have dreamed a month ago, but I'm going to stop totally again today and was hoping for some input on this. I don't look forward to those feelings...
And please don't feel like you are beating a dead horse with me... I so don't want it to be like,"oh, it's Rimmy again..." I know it's about me letting myself down, but to me, it's also about letting you down.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Oh, it's Rimmy again... 
Just kidding, man. You have all the right in the world to post here, and I'd encourage it. You are looking for answers, and someone here might have them. There are many who post here repeatedly who may never get sober. Just the truth, that's why there are statistics.
So, you've got the RIDs, eh? We call it Restless, Irritable and Discontent. It's discussed in the Big Book. For me, when I start feeling this way (and I still do), I need to get to more meetings, pray and get talking to other alcoholics PRONTO. You sound a lot like I did the first couple of weeks (months). My mind was racing, I was nervous, angry, depressed, etc.
For me (have to emphasize that one more time), AA provided a solution and helps me to LIVE SOBER. See, I didn't drink to feel good. I drank to NOT feel, and THAT was good. When we separate from alcohol, our mind starts to de-fog a little and everything (sometimes for the first time in years) is REAL!! Then we have to learn how to integrate into the world, and not expect the world (people, places and things) to integrate into OUR world. Hope that makes sense.
Still, I need to take things ONE DAY AT A TIME. This helps me not worry about tomorrow or fret over yesterday. It works, it really does.
So, guess you didn't know that once you get sober you'll feel better -- you'll feel anger better, depression better, pain better, etc.!
Keep posting Rimmy, we only want for you to get what you want, hopefully that's sobriety. And if I may suggest -- AA has the "solution" to many of these issues. We've all been there and done that.
Ken
Just kidding, man. You have all the right in the world to post here, and I'd encourage it. You are looking for answers, and someone here might have them. There are many who post here repeatedly who may never get sober. Just the truth, that's why there are statistics.
So, you've got the RIDs, eh? We call it Restless, Irritable and Discontent. It's discussed in the Big Book. For me, when I start feeling this way (and I still do), I need to get to more meetings, pray and get talking to other alcoholics PRONTO. You sound a lot like I did the first couple of weeks (months). My mind was racing, I was nervous, angry, depressed, etc.
For me (have to emphasize that one more time), AA provided a solution and helps me to LIVE SOBER. See, I didn't drink to feel good. I drank to NOT feel, and THAT was good. When we separate from alcohol, our mind starts to de-fog a little and everything (sometimes for the first time in years) is REAL!! Then we have to learn how to integrate into the world, and not expect the world (people, places and things) to integrate into OUR world. Hope that makes sense.
Still, I need to take things ONE DAY AT A TIME. This helps me not worry about tomorrow or fret over yesterday. It works, it really does.
So, guess you didn't know that once you get sober you'll feel better -- you'll feel anger better, depression better, pain better, etc.!
Keep posting Rimmy, we only want for you to get what you want, hopefully that's sobriety. And if I may suggest -- AA has the "solution" to many of these issues. We've all been there and done that.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Hi Rimmy
It seems to me that you need to build a base of supoprt (in addition to coming here), so when those feelings hit, you have an option other than going to grab that first beer. AA works for me, but there are other opitons too. Trying to do this alone will be extremely challenging. Keep coming back!!
Ken is on the money with his advice too!
JMHS
It seems to me that you need to build a base of supoprt (in addition to coming here), so when those feelings hit, you have an option other than going to grab that first beer. AA works for me, but there are other opitons too. Trying to do this alone will be extremely challenging. Keep coming back!!
Ken is on the money with his advice too!
JMHS
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
I remember how hard it was to ride out the anxiety. I usto think using was the answer, but it only provided temporary relief and back fired as the anxiety came back twice as bad. Alcohol does not take away anxiety.Hang in there, it will get better. Maybe see a Doctor who is knowledgable about alcoholism.Bless you.
PS. Oh ! It's Rimmy again !
PS. Oh ! It's Rimmy again !
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmmm...
You are not allowing your de tox/withdrawal from alcohol to happen.
Even if you not being drunk 1 beer does activate your disease. Check out the sticky at the top Page 3 has a link about PAWS.
My depression/anxiety left at 2/3 months sober. Give yourself time to see if that is also true for you.
Blessings...
Even if you not being drunk 1 beer does activate your disease. Check out the sticky at the top Page 3 has a link about PAWS.
My depression/anxiety left at 2/3 months sober. Give yourself time to see if that is also true for you.
Blessings...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
((((Rimmy))))
You've gotten some wonderful advice from the people here. I echo it all - give your body time to adjust, build a support system of people in recovery, rely on your HP. It all works, but you've got to work it.
Hang in there. It does get better. I promise.
--phinny
You've gotten some wonderful advice from the people here. I echo it all - give your body time to adjust, build a support system of people in recovery, rely on your HP. It all works, but you've got to work it.
Hang in there. It does get better. I promise.
--phinny
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
Thanks...
I think I just thought that once I got it out of my system for a few days, it would be easier, not harder... Again, quitting is a new thought for me.. less than a month old.
NoMoBeer - "I didn't drink to feel good. I drank to NOT feel, and THAT was good."
That makes a lot of sense to me personally. Not sure why... I'm not in any pain or terrible situation, but lots of little ones get overwhelming sometimes... That I will remember.
Well, I'm off to some steak dinner at the fire department I have obligations to go to.. looking forward to the steak, corn on the cob, etc... but been to a bunch before and it used to be for the free tap beer, not the food. It's such a strange concept for me... Thanks for the support... it will keep me focused tonight against the "well... one wont kill me" thoughts.
I think I just thought that once I got it out of my system for a few days, it would be easier, not harder... Again, quitting is a new thought for me.. less than a month old.
NoMoBeer - "I didn't drink to feel good. I drank to NOT feel, and THAT was good."
That makes a lot of sense to me personally. Not sure why... I'm not in any pain or terrible situation, but lots of little ones get overwhelming sometimes... That I will remember.
Well, I'm off to some steak dinner at the fire department I have obligations to go to.. looking forward to the steak, corn on the cob, etc... but been to a bunch before and it used to be for the free tap beer, not the food. It's such a strange concept for me... Thanks for the support... it will keep me focused tonight against the "well... one wont kill me" thoughts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
Hey NoMoBeer...
Time to start TODAY... I got that message as well and it is helping a lot. I didn't mean to intrude on Anne's thread, but I kinda did.. thanks for that message though. It helped me through the dinner and today is another day.
Peace,
Aaron
Time to start TODAY... I got that message as well and it is helping a lot. I didn't mean to intrude on Anne's thread, but I kinda did.. thanks for that message though. It helped me through the dinner and today is another day.
Peace,
Aaron
9:40 5K
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: yellow brick road
Posts: 85
Hiya Rimmy,
I've been thinking about you. Myself, I've been using a lot of visualization to get through rough spots, and at the risk of sounding like a dork (again), I'll share this analogy...
Sobriety is a path rather than a destination. And if someone handed you a map (picture a cool, old-fashioned treasure map) and had all the pitfalls and traps and rough spots marked.. you'd probably still embark right? Why, because the results are worth it, and knowing what you will face makes it attainable.
It's the first, the second, both, or neither. The point is, it's an expected challenge, and once you get past it (it will pass -- trust me) you will not have to deal with it again in the same proportions. Maybe not at all after a while. And the next obstacle.. you will conquer that too. And so on.
Somewhere along the way, YOU will change so that everything around you is different to YOU. It's no longer about the "prize" at the end.. the journey is the prize. You will heal physically (just give it time) and your mind will adapt and thrive with it's new-found clarity and balance. Just keep trying. Every day you've gone without that poison is a day of healing under your belt.
Just keep trying Rimmy. It'll click.
I've been thinking about you. Myself, I've been using a lot of visualization to get through rough spots, and at the risk of sounding like a dork (again), I'll share this analogy...
Sobriety is a path rather than a destination. And if someone handed you a map (picture a cool, old-fashioned treasure map) and had all the pitfalls and traps and rough spots marked.. you'd probably still embark right? Why, because the results are worth it, and knowing what you will face makes it attainable.
Originally Posted by Rimmy
So is it a chemical thing that I just have to get past, or is it something in my head...
Somewhere along the way, YOU will change so that everything around you is different to YOU. It's no longer about the "prize" at the end.. the journey is the prize. You will heal physically (just give it time) and your mind will adapt and thrive with it's new-found clarity and balance. Just keep trying. Every day you've gone without that poison is a day of healing under your belt.
Just keep trying Rimmy. It'll click.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
thanks...
I need the support... it seems like the more sober I am, the more the wifey hates me.... I don't know if I am so different or what... when I'm sober, she's insisting that I am miserable... It's really causing a problem 'cause my solution would be "fu" and have a drink... I so just want to go "away" for a day...
I am trying tenK... I will give it some time sometime I hope... it's just got a damned grip on me...
TODAY is TODAY.. .I can drink tomorrow... 'cause tomorrow will be today... And I don't drink TODAY....
I need the support... it seems like the more sober I am, the more the wifey hates me.... I don't know if I am so different or what... when I'm sober, she's insisting that I am miserable... It's really causing a problem 'cause my solution would be "fu" and have a drink... I so just want to go "away" for a day...
I am trying tenK... I will give it some time sometime I hope... it's just got a damned grip on me...
TODAY is TODAY.. .I can drink tomorrow... 'cause tomorrow will be today... And I don't drink TODAY....
9:40 5K
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: yellow brick road
Posts: 85
Hi again Rimmy,
I'd guess you probably ARE different... and miserable wouldn't be a surprise within a few days of sobriety. (A few days is a wonderful achievement.. but a bit more time will even out the moods and the physical discomfort.) Do you feel miserable? It's how YOU feel that matters right now.
Re: your wife.. your coping mechanism is gone. It was my coping mechanism too. I used to just say F-it and get drunk when my H and I hit bumpy times. Soon after I quit, I really let my feelings rip a couple of times. During the first week, I had these moments of absolute rage. H was at the receiving end of some blast/rants that typically ended with.. "..IF I'M NOT DRINKING, IT HAS TO COME O U T." He didn't fault me for it, (although he didn't enjoy it very much.) But my marriage is dicey anyway, and I'm willing to sacrifice it for sobriety.
That's a bit of a ramble and may not apply to your situation, but I do hope your wife supports you overall.. although maybe not enjoying the moment-to-moment struggles.
I know it's scary to think any farther than today. I could only think a bit at a time to begin with. But after a while, I stopped squeaking through the days... like, I think after 2 - 3 weeks, it started to feel normal to not drink.
And I did the on-off thing too. I came here to SR in January.. see the figures under my name on the left. I kept track of the number of days in each month that I didn't drink. (February just plain sucked.) But something happened with my latest attempt in May.. it kept going! Now I'm past 60 days. If I can do it, you can too. Just relax, focus on today, do some thinking and planning to fill in the void and you'll get over the hump just like me.
Hang in..
I'd guess you probably ARE different... and miserable wouldn't be a surprise within a few days of sobriety. (A few days is a wonderful achievement.. but a bit more time will even out the moods and the physical discomfort.) Do you feel miserable? It's how YOU feel that matters right now.
Re: your wife.. your coping mechanism is gone. It was my coping mechanism too. I used to just say F-it and get drunk when my H and I hit bumpy times. Soon after I quit, I really let my feelings rip a couple of times. During the first week, I had these moments of absolute rage. H was at the receiving end of some blast/rants that typically ended with.. "..IF I'M NOT DRINKING, IT HAS TO COME O U T." He didn't fault me for it, (although he didn't enjoy it very much.) But my marriage is dicey anyway, and I'm willing to sacrifice it for sobriety.
That's a bit of a ramble and may not apply to your situation, but I do hope your wife supports you overall.. although maybe not enjoying the moment-to-moment struggles.
I know it's scary to think any farther than today. I could only think a bit at a time to begin with. But after a while, I stopped squeaking through the days... like, I think after 2 - 3 weeks, it started to feel normal to not drink.
And I did the on-off thing too. I came here to SR in January.. see the figures under my name on the left. I kept track of the number of days in each month that I didn't drink. (February just plain sucked.) But something happened with my latest attempt in May.. it kept going! Now I'm past 60 days. If I can do it, you can too. Just relax, focus on today, do some thinking and planning to fill in the void and you'll get over the hump just like me.
Hang in..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
(((Rimmy)))
I like that!
Stay sober, one day at a time. Things will get easier. I was a miserable mess when I first sobered up. Some days my wife still doesn't understand my program, or how my alkie mind works, but I have to focus on my feelings, actions and thoughts -- not hers. Anything to keep my sobriety and my serenity intact.
Keep it up!
Ken
I like that!
Stay sober, one day at a time. Things will get easier. I was a miserable mess when I first sobered up. Some days my wife still doesn't understand my program, or how my alkie mind works, but I have to focus on my feelings, actions and thoughts -- not hers. Anything to keep my sobriety and my serenity intact.
Keep it up!
Ken
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
I just thought I'd say goodbye as I am going away from Thursday thru Monday or Tuesday... gonna spend some quality time doing nothing but relaxing in Vermont...
And for a sort of funny story before I go...
How is it that I can be in a stupor for years and years without incident, but I sober up and smash my face into a cabinet literally splitting the skin around me eye... I look like a boxer gave me a good lick in the face! Thought I was going to hospital for stitches at first when I saw all the blood... gheeze... I was ok until I saw my wifes jaw dropped to the floor.. then I was like... oh-oh, this can't be good?
All's well that ends well.... Everyone have a safe and happy weekend.
And for a sort of funny story before I go...
How is it that I can be in a stupor for years and years without incident, but I sober up and smash my face into a cabinet literally splitting the skin around me eye... I look like a boxer gave me a good lick in the face! Thought I was going to hospital for stitches at first when I saw all the blood... gheeze... I was ok until I saw my wifes jaw dropped to the floor.. then I was like... oh-oh, this can't be good?
All's well that ends well.... Everyone have a safe and happy weekend.
9:40 5K
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: yellow brick road
Posts: 85
Have a good vaca Aaron. Sorry 'bout your eye.
I'm going away too. I've been avoiding talking about it because I've been flip-flopping in my mind about drinking. I believe my good thoughts are winning. Vacations come and go.. so why give one precedence over everything, right? (that's what I'm thinking)
Talk to ya next week...
10K
I'm going away too. I've been avoiding talking about it because I've been flip-flopping in my mind about drinking. I believe my good thoughts are winning. Vacations come and go.. so why give one precedence over everything, right? (that's what I'm thinking)
Talk to ya next week...
10K
keep on the sunny side
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 18
Rimmy,
You are so obviously not alone with the drinking and anxiety. I have suffered from anxiety for years and always thought the cheapest and quickest way to deal with it was a cold 6 pack -- usually the whole thing and sometimes more. It did solve the problem while I was drinking, but the next day I was even worse off than I was before I started drinking, even if I did just have two or three beers. Yesterday I was having a bad anxiety/depression day. I couldn't stop focusing on the problems in my life that I can't find an instant solution for and I wanted a drink so badly. I had made plans to go play raquetball with a friend from work and it turns out she was having the same kind of day, having had a major fight with her husband. I told her how bad I wanted a double martini to "anesthetize" the pain, but knew that raquetball would be the better option. That little blue ball became the focus of all my frustration, aggravation and worry for about three hours. I am no athlete, but I won every game we played and felt at the end of the day like I had done the right thing -- not the easiest thing, but definitely a better way to work on my anxiety that unfortunately, will never truly go away. It's just a matter of finding the right way to deal with it I guess.
You are so obviously not alone with the drinking and anxiety. I have suffered from anxiety for years and always thought the cheapest and quickest way to deal with it was a cold 6 pack -- usually the whole thing and sometimes more. It did solve the problem while I was drinking, but the next day I was even worse off than I was before I started drinking, even if I did just have two or three beers. Yesterday I was having a bad anxiety/depression day. I couldn't stop focusing on the problems in my life that I can't find an instant solution for and I wanted a drink so badly. I had made plans to go play raquetball with a friend from work and it turns out she was having the same kind of day, having had a major fight with her husband. I told her how bad I wanted a double martini to "anesthetize" the pain, but knew that raquetball would be the better option. That little blue ball became the focus of all my frustration, aggravation and worry for about three hours. I am no athlete, but I won every game we played and felt at the end of the day like I had done the right thing -- not the easiest thing, but definitely a better way to work on my anxiety that unfortunately, will never truly go away. It's just a matter of finding the right way to deal with it I guess.
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