meattandlisa

my husband is a musician in a somewhat suxcessful band we have been married a little over 5 years. we have 2 extreamly wonderful children.whoolie is my 4 year old boy, and melody is my 2 year old girl.both amazing, my son has seen way to much chaos, daughter is usualy sleeping(fortunatly)or wasnt born yet to see n hear all the madness.I posted hear a long time ago and havent got any better at typing or spelling. I should have taken the good advice so many gave to me, back then. since then ive left and came back to him 3 times,been relocated to his moms house in boonies,kicked out by him 4 times,hit, name called, so on and so on... the reason i have come back here, is to find help, from someone who has a similar sounding situation. of course they are all differnt. I am looking for this one.. The alcoholic or person who knows an alcoholic that has no reason to stop.he says it doesnt effect anyone,he drinks at work only, and since im not there whats the problem. he says he has to he has panic disorder. I thought thats what the xanex was for ,the doctor perscribed to him 10 years ago.so he is a good looking muscian with a lot of other options. as far as girls go he has taken sdvantage of that also. (cought him in bed with another) he gets his ego boosted at work.he has fun at work his friends are able to party with him. and i guess without going into to much detail about how tired i am of everything and i mean everything.i am still wanting him to come out of the dark. and see what a great wife n children are there waiteing for him. is that ever gonna happen? also I got an appartment 5 days ago in town. i have nothing in it but me it is the first time i have left without grabing the kids and whatever i could, to get out alive. its always been a mess. and thank god ive got a friend and one family member that will still put up with me.The rest of my family has died in the past 5 years also very hard to deal with of coures he didnt notice. my dad lives 4 states away. yet i actualy went there in march to live but the kids missed there dad and he promisrd me hed cut back on the drinking and earn his trust back.so i went back.my sister and friend are all i got, i have had to rely on them alot. every time i leave. and i always go back.there loosing faith in me who can blame em. even this time I have dilluisions. to get my life on track he will notice and seek help for his addictions appolguise for being so blind.and we will live happly ever after. or he and his mother wont be able to handel the children, he will quit, and realise how he did me wrong, appoliguise and we will live happily ever after.when in reality its probably over. i got the apartment with 2 rooms cus i have every intention on my kids liveing with me. i have to watch my ps n qs rite now or he wont let me see kids. already i had them spend night 2 times, and on fathers day he called and asked me to take the kids so he could sleep.(hungover)he is always drunk witch we dont see unless he comes in from work and wakes us all up witch hapens alot.or he is sleeping, because he worked the night before. we get one mabie two days with him whear he runs erands and we ride along just cause we miss him.anyway he looks forward to work, he plans for work but not us. he realy doesnt need us. and im sick of it i cant waste away waiting for him to want us, to make plans for us, to set his alarm for us, to get his sleep for us.There is a world out here and i want a life. i still want a life with him but not as long as he is using. I signed a 6 month lease in hopes he will get it together and quit. i feel guilty about not haveing my kids liveing with me ,but must addmit i like the extra time i have to focus on me. im tired of playing games to get him to quit and i am scared of him most of the time so i cant talk to him. I know he has to want to quit. I have babled long enough. and i am not sure what it is im asking mabie someone has some insight.

CarolD

sorry for your situation. Here is a good place for you to get understanding and support..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=24

Prayers for the 4 of you.

freemeshee

I am looking for this one.. The alcoholic or person who knows an alcoholic that has no reason to stop.he says it doesnt effect anyone,he drinks at work only, and since im not there whats the problem. **meattandlisa**



if your asking "can i change him?" the answear is no. as much as you want it and as much as your kids want it, it will never happem untill HE REALLY WANT'S IT. i say really wants it because i know that for years i wanted it but i never did anything about it.i never knew the amount of hurt i caused the people that love me the most untill i took the time to step out of this alcoholic box i have been living in.i wish you the best and i hope you find hapiness keep me posted.

love hailey