Another lapse
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 41
Another lapse
Well Saturday I had another lapse. This makes the 4th (one day lapse) since my original sobriety of July 9. We were out with my niece and her boyfriend and just having fun and unwinding and talking. I told my husband I just wanted to drink that day. I drank because I was in a good mood and it went okay until I just started feeling guilty, talking too loud, I don't remember dinner, etc. and I definitely didn't like feeling hung over on Sunday morning.
I've got to stop these from happening becasue they'll only get worse and I know this. I was a daily drinker for the past 3-4 years so this social experience could make me "glamorize" that I could drink again and I know that I cannot.
I've got to stop these from happening becasue they'll only get worse and I know this. I was a daily drinker for the past 3-4 years so this social experience could make me "glamorize" that I could drink again and I know that I cannot.
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: San Diego
Posts: 17
You're not the first to slip, nor will you be the last... are you going to AA meetings?
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http://www.powerfullyrecovered.com
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http://www.powerfullyrecovered.com
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Victoria,B.C.Canada
Posts: 46
Hi Wendy
Welcome to the site and recovery.
We all fall down and we just have to pick yourself up. Try not to bet your save up all the time. All you need to do is look at why you picked up each time and look at your pattern. If you can't see it then talk to someone that could put it together for you.
All you need to know is just stay in today and not pick up that first drink. Go to meetings and stay on step on. I am around if you need to talk. Just e-mail me and we can go from there. GOD BLESS
SAngelfive
Welcome to the site and recovery.
We all fall down and we just have to pick yourself up. Try not to bet your save up all the time. All you need to do is look at why you picked up each time and look at your pattern. If you can't see it then talk to someone that could put it together for you.
All you need to know is just stay in today and not pick up that first drink. Go to meetings and stay on step on. I am around if you need to talk. Just e-mail me and we can go from there. GOD BLESS
SAngelfive
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Charleston S.C.
Posts: 1,461
Wendy, I know it is hard when we fail at something we try to do. Know matter what we do in life sometimes we have to keep practicing until we get it right. Just keep on trying and going to meetings. You should be sure to give yourself credit for admitting you have a problem and trying to change. Don W
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: San Jacinto, California
Posts: 71
Dear Wendy,
By lapse do you mean you got stinkin' drunk and can't remember what you did? Remember what you did isn't who you are!
I'll not give you any sympathy...get your butt to a meeting and get a sponsor. It's time to hear those angel feathers before you start having to wear them.
I got drunk after 26 months of not drinking (not sobriety) it was nearly my last. Saw things that were not there, blood coming out of the faucets and spiders all over the place. An oldtimer physically picked me up and took me to a meeting. I am now 18 years sober, but only one drink from a drunk.
Start being truthful with yourself and others. I don't think you have even taken your first step.
Love, Pickle
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By lapse do you mean you got stinkin' drunk and can't remember what you did? Remember what you did isn't who you are!
I'll not give you any sympathy...get your butt to a meeting and get a sponsor. It's time to hear those angel feathers before you start having to wear them.
I got drunk after 26 months of not drinking (not sobriety) it was nearly my last. Saw things that were not there, blood coming out of the faucets and spiders all over the place. An oldtimer physically picked me up and took me to a meeting. I am now 18 years sober, but only one drink from a drunk.
Start being truthful with yourself and others. I don't think you have even taken your first step.
Love, Pickle
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Guest
Posts: n/a
I feel your pain I am doing the same thing and I just dream of getting totally away from this crap.I never thought in my life I would be ruled by something like alcohol it just sneaks up on you until it controls you and you are the slve to it.It starts out as cool and relaxing then you start to get bored with it you realize that this is not fun anymore.I am trying to wake up myself from this deadly drug.I have all kinds of pains in my side my back and yet I still think I need to have a drink after work.I want soon to just say hell no not anymore and wake up with a clear head.Good Luck and I hope you can make it.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hi Wendy,
Well I just want to tell you that it happens but you really have to take a look at your drinking and be honest with yourself. I have been in and out of AA now for 17 years. I had 4 years without the program and then started to take pain meds for a back problem, then smoked pot, then drank, then started to do Xaanax, then started to smoke crack, then shot heroine. This was all in 6 years and it was very progressive as you can see. Do you attend meetings? I know for me I have to I have tried to go without and it got me the worst bottom I have ever had in my life. I can tell you this though, once you get sober and stay sober for a little bit and truly work your program, which by the way isn't easy, if it was then everyone would be sober, but no pain no gain. I can say for me that I really had alot of pain in the beginning, and well in the long run it helped me to stay sober. I used to say to myself when I wanted to drink, which I really didn't need to be in a good mood to do, I came up with every excuse. I used to say" i will drink tomorrow" ! Try and put it off for a day. That really seemed to workfor me. I said to myself okay well, its not that important really that I drink today, I will drink tomorrow. By the time tomorrow came, I didn't want to use. I had a bad time with weekends for a while but I got over it. I remember wanting to all the time for the first six months. It certainly helped to get a home group and let them know where I stood, even if I felt good I would raise my hand and say so. I let people know me therefore, when I was going through something usually they could tell, and would approach me. I know how hard it is when you want to drink to "tell on it", but once you get into the practice of doing it, well it will become second nature. Keep Coming Back!!! Try not to get discouraged. I have a recovery forum also and you are most welcome to stop by, Here is the addy. http://forums.delphiforums.com/sobriety1, we can always use support. I have Hep C directly due to my addiction and while I am on treatment which is like chemotherapy, I haven"t been feeling good and can't make as much meetings as I can, so I started this forum, to keep me in touch with recovery, its not a substitute for it, but it really helps. hang in there, you will be okay.
Hugs,
Kimmie
Well I just want to tell you that it happens but you really have to take a look at your drinking and be honest with yourself. I have been in and out of AA now for 17 years. I had 4 years without the program and then started to take pain meds for a back problem, then smoked pot, then drank, then started to do Xaanax, then started to smoke crack, then shot heroine. This was all in 6 years and it was very progressive as you can see. Do you attend meetings? I know for me I have to I have tried to go without and it got me the worst bottom I have ever had in my life. I can tell you this though, once you get sober and stay sober for a little bit and truly work your program, which by the way isn't easy, if it was then everyone would be sober, but no pain no gain. I can say for me that I really had alot of pain in the beginning, and well in the long run it helped me to stay sober. I used to say to myself when I wanted to drink, which I really didn't need to be in a good mood to do, I came up with every excuse. I used to say" i will drink tomorrow" ! Try and put it off for a day. That really seemed to workfor me. I said to myself okay well, its not that important really that I drink today, I will drink tomorrow. By the time tomorrow came, I didn't want to use. I had a bad time with weekends for a while but I got over it. I remember wanting to all the time for the first six months. It certainly helped to get a home group and let them know where I stood, even if I felt good I would raise my hand and say so. I let people know me therefore, when I was going through something usually they could tell, and would approach me. I know how hard it is when you want to drink to "tell on it", but once you get into the practice of doing it, well it will become second nature. Keep Coming Back!!! Try not to get discouraged. I have a recovery forum also and you are most welcome to stop by, Here is the addy. http://forums.delphiforums.com/sobriety1, we can always use support. I have Hep C directly due to my addiction and while I am on treatment which is like chemotherapy, I haven"t been feeling good and can't make as much meetings as I can, so I started this forum, to keep me in touch with recovery, its not a substitute for it, but it really helps. hang in there, you will be okay.
Hugs,
Kimmie
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 34
Hey Wendy.....
Gotta agree with pickle there.......sympathy can get some folks dead.....
And sangelfive wrote, "We all fall down...," oh, not true.....some of us came in the program and got right down to working working working......pgm pgm pgm.......steps steps steps........I just reread those steps, which are the ones I took which were suggested to me as a program of recovery (1-12), and nowhere in them is there a 1b, or a 4c, or a 9d,,,,,nope nope nope.......nothing about going back out, even for a day, or even for one drink........hmmmmmmmm....
Everybody here is right, in their own way, so get back into it, and get working;this program really does work, but we gotta work it.....
In Recovery,
Noelle
Gotta agree with pickle there.......sympathy can get some folks dead.....
And sangelfive wrote, "We all fall down...," oh, not true.....some of us came in the program and got right down to working working working......pgm pgm pgm.......steps steps steps........I just reread those steps, which are the ones I took which were suggested to me as a program of recovery (1-12), and nowhere in them is there a 1b, or a 4c, or a 9d,,,,,nope nope nope.......nothing about going back out, even for a day, or even for one drink........hmmmmmmmm....
Everybody here is right, in their own way, so get back into it, and get working;this program really does work, but we gotta work it.....
In Recovery,
Noelle
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Wendy -
I just want to tell you that Saturday night a friend of mine also had a "lapse" and now he is dead! This is a disease and we need to take it seriously or it will kill us!!! Please don't let it kill you! Get to a meeting, work the steps!!! and keep writing to people here. Email me if you want to and I will listen to you. Don't let this nasty disease win. My friend Steve stopped fighting it and he let it win. It is always waiting for us. it will tell you that you can just have one drink, or that you will just drink today and stop tomorrow, but that is not what it wants, it wants you dead! If I sound dramatic I am sorry, when you loose someone from this disease it is dramatic.
I will pray for you! Remember the next "lapse" could be the end of your life.
Pauline (a grateful alive addict)
[This message has been edited by Pauline (edited April 16, 2002).]
I just want to tell you that Saturday night a friend of mine also had a "lapse" and now he is dead! This is a disease and we need to take it seriously or it will kill us!!! Please don't let it kill you! Get to a meeting, work the steps!!! and keep writing to people here. Email me if you want to and I will listen to you. Don't let this nasty disease win. My friend Steve stopped fighting it and he let it win. It is always waiting for us. it will tell you that you can just have one drink, or that you will just drink today and stop tomorrow, but that is not what it wants, it wants you dead! If I sound dramatic I am sorry, when you loose someone from this disease it is dramatic.
I will pray for you! Remember the next "lapse" could be the end of your life.
Pauline (a grateful alive addict)
[This message has been edited by Pauline (edited April 16, 2002).]
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Fabulous Las Vegas
Posts: 11
I can understand the way you felt. I recently relapsed after 30 days. I was very angry with myself and felt hopeless. Because of that my thinking started to change about "just having one" but I RAN to a meeting and talked about it. It was one of the most powerful meetings that I had been to so far. Keep coming back it works!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 23
Whatever you do Wendy, don't kid yourself by drinking Near Beer. In RR it is called "waking up the "beast" (of addiction or the addictive voice), like going to bed with an old flame and thinking nothing sexual will happen. Temptation can be a powerful force. I think AA people would tend to agree as well. I wish you the best in whatever recovery you choose.
[This message has been edited by nico (edited May 03, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by nico (edited May 03, 2002).]
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