BUMMER of a meeting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 79
BUMMER of a meeting
OK - I know that some meetings are good, some are bad. "You take what you need, and leave the rest."
So I've been struggling for 5 years -- with more sober time than drunken time. But too many relapses than I care to discuss. The most recent one being a 2 day binge last Thurs and Fri.
And I committed to doing 90 in 90.
Every meeting I've been to in the last 4 days has been wonderful -- I've met people I haven't met before, and have learned things I never knew before. Despite 5 years of struggling (my longest sobriety has been 18 months), and despite HORRID relapses that have landed me in ER's and hospitals, and which have nearly burned my house down, I know that AA is the way to go.
So I go to a meeting tonight -- a new meeting that I haven't been to before. (Mind you, the last relapse was Thursday/Friday - only 4 days before today!). And everyone at the previous meetings has been wonderful, caring, supportive, and sharing.
But TONIGHT --- UGH!!
Two little Yuppie females, both with under a year sobriety YELLED at me: "STOP IT!!" "Stop drinking NOW" -- "I did it, so can you!!" "I was worse than you, and I did it, so can YOU!!" "STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!"
Yadda yadda blah blah blah.
Well, honeys, for some of us it ain't that easy. I need experience, strength and hope -- not 6-month olds' sage "advice."
Oh God - how do I erase the stupid advice from two women who are about 20 years younger than me?! How do I not let their "advice" send me over the edge again?!
HELP!
So I've been struggling for 5 years -- with more sober time than drunken time. But too many relapses than I care to discuss. The most recent one being a 2 day binge last Thurs and Fri.
And I committed to doing 90 in 90.
Every meeting I've been to in the last 4 days has been wonderful -- I've met people I haven't met before, and have learned things I never knew before. Despite 5 years of struggling (my longest sobriety has been 18 months), and despite HORRID relapses that have landed me in ER's and hospitals, and which have nearly burned my house down, I know that AA is the way to go.
So I go to a meeting tonight -- a new meeting that I haven't been to before. (Mind you, the last relapse was Thursday/Friday - only 4 days before today!). And everyone at the previous meetings has been wonderful, caring, supportive, and sharing.
But TONIGHT --- UGH!!
Two little Yuppie females, both with under a year sobriety YELLED at me: "STOP IT!!" "Stop drinking NOW" -- "I did it, so can you!!" "I was worse than you, and I did it, so can YOU!!" "STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!"
Yadda yadda blah blah blah.
Well, honeys, for some of us it ain't that easy. I need experience, strength and hope -- not 6-month olds' sage "advice."
Oh God - how do I erase the stupid advice from two women who are about 20 years younger than me?! How do I not let their "advice" send me over the edge again?!
HELP!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
HI Sylvrymoon!
They focused on you, instead of themselves. Some would say that places them on the "endangered recovery" list. It sounds like an act of insecurity... an external symptom of an internal struggle. It's rotten that you got picked on. Hey! If we ever put this scene in a movie... we should have "Sylvrymoon" reach slyly into her purse and whip out a mirror to hold up to the loudest yuppy puppy. "Tell it to the tourists!" she smirks!
Hugs!
Smoke
They focused on you, instead of themselves. Some would say that places them on the "endangered recovery" list. It sounds like an act of insecurity... an external symptom of an internal struggle. It's rotten that you got picked on. Hey! If we ever put this scene in a movie... we should have "Sylvrymoon" reach slyly into her purse and whip out a mirror to hold up to the loudest yuppy puppy. "Tell it to the tourists!" she smirks!
Hugs!
Smoke
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 73
or....maybe take a look at why two yuppy type females with less than a year are causing you to feel like going over the edge again.
I learned... (the hard way)... there ain't no excuse for a relapse... yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.....
Sometimes my Higher Power uses the foolish things of the world to drive a point home.
I don't know you, so I cannot make any statements about you making it or not. I do know that those who follow this simple program make it.
Just my ESH
Den...
I learned... (the hard way)... there ain't no excuse for a relapse... yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.....
Sometimes my Higher Power uses the foolish things of the world to drive a point home.
I don't know you, so I cannot make any statements about you making it or not. I do know that those who follow this simple program make it.
Just my ESH
Den...
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hopefully,
You can get past this, and stay on track with your recovery. Have you been able to gain any insight as to why you keep relapsing? If alcohol is your problem, would you be able to try something like antabuse? What about a sponsor. If you already have one, have you been able to talk to them or someone else before you relapse.
Look at your life carefully to see what you can do to stop yourself before your relapse. i.e., stress, frustration, depression, boredom. Not being able to handle problems that are arising.
You can get past this, and stay on track with your recovery. Have you been able to gain any insight as to why you keep relapsing? If alcohol is your problem, would you be able to try something like antabuse? What about a sponsor. If you already have one, have you been able to talk to them or someone else before you relapse.
Look at your life carefully to see what you can do to stop yourself before your relapse. i.e., stress, frustration, depression, boredom. Not being able to handle problems that are arising.
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: San Jacinto, California
Posts: 71
Hellooooooooooo,
Sounds like you had two ducks cross your path!
I lived in a small town in Missouri and they had two AA meetings available. Everyone sat in the same place and the same men read Chapter 5, etc.
One night I shared part of my 5th step. That night one of the women called me and told me not to share "such things" as everyone in town would know what I did. I never went back.
Syl, isn't it great we have choices today? When we were drunk we had no choices or rights.
It is great to see you share. It helps to get rid of what bothers us. Nothing is too silly or trivial if it upsets us. The more we share the more that will be revealed.
Love ya,
Pickle
Sounds like you had two ducks cross your path!
I lived in a small town in Missouri and they had two AA meetings available. Everyone sat in the same place and the same men read Chapter 5, etc.
One night I shared part of my 5th step. That night one of the women called me and told me not to share "such things" as everyone in town would know what I did. I never went back.
Syl, isn't it great we have choices today? When we were drunk we had no choices or rights.
It is great to see you share. It helps to get rid of what bothers us. Nothing is too silly or trivial if it upsets us. The more we share the more that will be revealed.
Love ya,
Pickle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 79
Thanks everyone.
Your suggestions and opinions were very helpful. I carried a resentment all day about these stupid girls -- thank God it didn't cause me to drink!
I don't know why I keep relapsing. . . unresolved issues? Poorly worked 4th/5th step? Resentments? Sometimes all of the above, sometimes nothing at all. It's been a difficult road, with lots of bumps and pot holes. But one day, I'm going to learn enough to not trip over the bumps and not fall into the holes. And if I'm REALLY working the program, I'll learn how to go down a different road altogether.
I'm hanging in there. The meetings are helping SO much. One bad meeting does not make me drink - but it sure made me think. Poorly. And I'll probably go to the same meeting next week, because it's at a convenient time and location, but I'll sit at a different table. (avoiding those "bumps in the road", eh?!).
Thanks all. I feel better today.
Your suggestions and opinions were very helpful. I carried a resentment all day about these stupid girls -- thank God it didn't cause me to drink!
I don't know why I keep relapsing. . . unresolved issues? Poorly worked 4th/5th step? Resentments? Sometimes all of the above, sometimes nothing at all. It's been a difficult road, with lots of bumps and pot holes. But one day, I'm going to learn enough to not trip over the bumps and not fall into the holes. And if I'm REALLY working the program, I'll learn how to go down a different road altogether.
I'm hanging in there. The meetings are helping SO much. One bad meeting does not make me drink - but it sure made me think. Poorly. And I'll probably go to the same meeting next week, because it's at a convenient time and location, but I'll sit at a different table. (avoiding those "bumps in the road", eh?!).
Thanks all. I feel better today.
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