Worse than ever
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Fabulous Las Vegas
Posts: 11
Worse than ever
I have not been to a meeting in weeks and now I am worse than ever. The cravings are so strong that
I feel like a complete prisoner in my own body. Yes, I prayed every morning I wake up for God to
please please please not let me drink today but the temptation gets me ever time. I am now able
to drink straight liquor where before I could only drink fruity ****tails that masked the taste. All
I do is worry and think about drinking. I decided to jump back into meetings but I feel so worthless and
weak now and praying is not working either. I know God sees how miserable I am. Why can't this
work for me?
I feel like a complete prisoner in my own body. Yes, I prayed every morning I wake up for God to
please please please not let me drink today but the temptation gets me ever time. I am now able
to drink straight liquor where before I could only drink fruity ****tails that masked the taste. All
I do is worry and think about drinking. I decided to jump back into meetings but I feel so worthless and
weak now and praying is not working either. I know God sees how miserable I am. Why can't this
work for me?
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 79
Hi BLS -
I have been where you are. It's horrid. My latest relapse was last weekend.
Yes, God sees you miserable, and He is crying. He loves you - no matter what. But He wants you happy and healthy. You deserve everything wonderful in life -- so do I -- and we can have it if we just don't pick up the first drink. Because the first leads to many, many, many more.
I've had a sober life before for 18 months, and it was wonderful. I went through so much trauma sober - getting fired from a job (automotive cutbacks and gender discrimination), having to put my very sick 18-year old cat to sleep, having a breast lump surgically removed, watching my elderly mother's mental health deteriorate. I made it through all of that SOBER - and now, it seems, the stupidest little thing can send me over the edge.
We can do it together - it's all about support. And AA meetings allow one drunk to talk to another - it's an incredible phenomenon. I've been to a meeting every day this week, and the difference it has made is wonderful.
Go back to meetings and talk. Most people will welcome you with open arms. Those that don't -- well, ignore them and try not to take it to heart. You will feel so much better.
Please let us know how you are. I care.
I have been where you are. It's horrid. My latest relapse was last weekend.
Yes, God sees you miserable, and He is crying. He loves you - no matter what. But He wants you happy and healthy. You deserve everything wonderful in life -- so do I -- and we can have it if we just don't pick up the first drink. Because the first leads to many, many, many more.
I've had a sober life before for 18 months, and it was wonderful. I went through so much trauma sober - getting fired from a job (automotive cutbacks and gender discrimination), having to put my very sick 18-year old cat to sleep, having a breast lump surgically removed, watching my elderly mother's mental health deteriorate. I made it through all of that SOBER - and now, it seems, the stupidest little thing can send me over the edge.
We can do it together - it's all about support. And AA meetings allow one drunk to talk to another - it's an incredible phenomenon. I've been to a meeting every day this week, and the difference it has made is wonderful.
Go back to meetings and talk. Most people will welcome you with open arms. Those that don't -- well, ignore them and try not to take it to heart. You will feel so much better.
Please let us know how you are. I care.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hi Bls!
Let me start by saying...You are not worthless!
I'm glad to hear your back to meetings. They are very important in our recovery. I hated going to meetings in the very begining mostly due to I don't like change...Now I love every meeting I go to even when I don't care for some of the stuff I hear...today I accept the fact that I need the meetings and considerate them my medicine. I'll keep you in my prayers!
Let me start by saying...You are not worthless!
I'm glad to hear your back to meetings. They are very important in our recovery. I hated going to meetings in the very begining mostly due to I don't like change...Now I love every meeting I go to even when I don't care for some of the stuff I hear...today I accept the fact that I need the meetings and considerate them my medicine. I'll keep you in my prayers!
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