jason77

You have no idea what it means to me to hear reponses of support, for the longest time I felt so alone, this is the first time in my life I tryed to reach out for help. I was a little shy and uneasy with my first post, I feel more confortable now, I like to talk little more about my situation. I am majoring in criminal justice/ social work and I'm ashamed and don't have the nerve to consult a councilor of my addiction, and it is getting to the point where it is either my health or my career. I am trying to locate AA meetings as we speak, the nearest AA program is in Bangor which is about 3 hour drive from where I live. But I did hear about a private local aa meeting held by local individuals I am looking in to it. I just like to say Alcohol was by far the worst decision I have ever made, it costs me my fiancee, my daughter, my money , and my family. Just a couple weeks ago my brother left for his freshmen year of college and he refers me to his friends as "the drunk" I thought that was funny because when I was 17, my father was an alcoholic and still is, I use to call him the drunk. I love my father but I don't want to become him, I watched him drink for the last 25 years and more than likely he will die an alcoholic. I can't begin to count the times I would wake up for a all night binge full of regret, the packs of cigerettes that I would throw out, the cans of beers I would dump down the sink, swaring on my soul that I would quit everything, that burst of commitment would only last 2-3 days, then I would be right back doing it all over agian. Now every morning that I wake up sober with out the hangovers I feel great, and I want to be able to wake up feeling that way every morning.

Paulie

Good to hear from you again Jason -

I have a friend that just moved from Madawaska to Holton, I don't know how close you are to those towns, but I know even in the tiny tiny tiny town of Madawska her son for an AA meeting. I understand your hesitation to talk to counselors but sometimes you have to take that risk and walk through that fear. someone recently told me hear on this site that 'courage is fear that has said it's prayers'. You have to find the courage to ask for help my friend. Doing it alone is hard, it is called while knuckling it and from your post you have already tried that before.

This site is great for support...you also need face to face people to work with and connect with. You need to get a sponsor and work the steps. The steps are the key to sobriety.

that is just my experience. Keep looking for meetings. Try the Narcotics Annonymous site also, my opiniion is addiciton is addiction and maybe there is an NA meeting closer to you than AA. Don't give up - you are doing great, take it one day at a time. We are hear to support you all we can.

Keep up the great work - and keep posting :okay:

Ninerfan

Jason...Do a search on your computer for 'AA meeting list for Maine' You'll find numbers to call. Don't put it off because you won't call if you do. Your life is more important than a moments slight embarrassment.