Spontaneity
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London UK
Posts: 59
Spontaneity
3 days sober (again...been here before but it always feels good 
)
Just had a brainwave and thought I'd share it, although it may be entirely personal. One of my major misconceived reasons for continually going back to drinking was a belief that 'I have a right to be spontaneous'. In other words, a goal of abstinence was contrary to my basic human right to drink when I wanted if I wanted. 'Sod it all, why shouldn't I?' I'd think.
Well this is boloni for two reasons. Firstly, nobody could ever give up, or majorly change, anything in their lives ever! It would always be contrary to that right.
And secondly - I suppose it's true that I'm limiting my ability to 'be spontaneous' and just grab that drink, feel that giddy feeling of 'going on a bender' for a night...but who's making that choice? Me! For me! In other words, I'm giving something up to gain something else. Completely basic logic, which eluded this drinker for a stupidly long time...
Perhaps this is all very basic, but thought I'd put it out there.
keep it up everyone
tommy
)Just had a brainwave and thought I'd share it, although it may be entirely personal. One of my major misconceived reasons for continually going back to drinking was a belief that 'I have a right to be spontaneous'. In other words, a goal of abstinence was contrary to my basic human right to drink when I wanted if I wanted. 'Sod it all, why shouldn't I?' I'd think.
Well this is boloni for two reasons. Firstly, nobody could ever give up, or majorly change, anything in their lives ever! It would always be contrary to that right.
And secondly - I suppose it's true that I'm limiting my ability to 'be spontaneous' and just grab that drink, feel that giddy feeling of 'going on a bender' for a night...but who's making that choice? Me! For me! In other words, I'm giving something up to gain something else. Completely basic logic, which eluded this drinker for a stupidly long time...
Perhaps this is all very basic, but thought I'd put it out there.
keep it up everyone
tommy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Hey Tommy,
Congrats on 3 days. I am a BIG fan of spontanaiety. It's a big part of my personality and I've been sober for quite a while. My life is not centered around drugs and alcohol anymore so the things I am spontaneous about don't ever involve drugs and alcohol. I am spontaneous about fun day trips, travel, seeing friends, playing hookey from work. Stuff like that. Spontanaiety is great and if you're a fan you'll find other things that will give you just as much of a lift.
Congrats on 3 days. I am a BIG fan of spontanaiety. It's a big part of my personality and I've been sober for quite a while. My life is not centered around drugs and alcohol anymore so the things I am spontaneous about don't ever involve drugs and alcohol. I am spontaneous about fun day trips, travel, seeing friends, playing hookey from work. Stuff like that. Spontanaiety is great and if you're a fan you'll find other things that will give you just as much of a lift.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Absolutely Tommy!
Our rights, or options even.
Today, I spontaneously decide to affirm my right to wake up tomorrow morning remembering all of today.
Works for me right now.
This should be a great thread.
Thanks Tommy.
Our rights, or options even.
Today, I spontaneously decide to affirm my right to wake up tomorrow morning remembering all of today.
Works for me right now.
This should be a great thread.
Thanks Tommy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
An afterthought...
There was nothing spontaneous about the last, oh, say five years of my drinking.
My first thought in the morning had to do with alcohol. Either where and when I was going to get some more, or whether the quantity ingested the previous day was going to allow me to even get out of bed, to see which ones of my responsibilities I could avoid that day. My addiction made a robot out of me, incapable of spontaneous actions.
Even though I lived in a house with my two young children, themselves tiny effervescent bubbles of spontaneous joys, I was locked in a miserable existence, unable to even crack a smile at them most days.
It rained hard here a few days ago.
My son and I went puddle jumping and quickly became two soggy messes.
Spontaneous fun.
I'll add that to the sobriety gift list.
There was nothing spontaneous about the last, oh, say five years of my drinking.
My first thought in the morning had to do with alcohol. Either where and when I was going to get some more, or whether the quantity ingested the previous day was going to allow me to even get out of bed, to see which ones of my responsibilities I could avoid that day. My addiction made a robot out of me, incapable of spontaneous actions.
Even though I lived in a house with my two young children, themselves tiny effervescent bubbles of spontaneous joys, I was locked in a miserable existence, unable to even crack a smile at them most days.
It rained hard here a few days ago.
My son and I went puddle jumping and quickly became two soggy messes.
Spontaneous fun.
I'll add that to the sobriety gift list.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London UK
Posts: 59
Some nice thoughts guys, thank you.
I guess this issue is more for me not going back to drinking, not a reason to stop - the longer-term part which is always the most difficult. By my most recent binge, I wasn't spontaneously drinking at all, it was totally compulsive and out of control. The spontaneous thing probably came a bit earlier in my drinking days, when I knew I had a problem but it wasn't all-consuming. Another silly reason (the voice of the disease or whatever) to go back to the booze. So I reckon it's also something that'll come back once I've been sober for a bit...trying to nip it in the bud I guess.
tommy
I guess this issue is more for me not going back to drinking, not a reason to stop - the longer-term part which is always the most difficult. By my most recent binge, I wasn't spontaneously drinking at all, it was totally compulsive and out of control. The spontaneous thing probably came a bit earlier in my drinking days, when I knew I had a problem but it wasn't all-consuming. Another silly reason (the voice of the disease or whatever) to go back to the booze. So I reckon it's also something that'll come back once I've been sober for a bit...trying to nip it in the bud I guess.
tommy
BikerBill8
one day at a time
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 44
My sponsor always says alcohol is a disease of perception 
To me, it's a *choice* between drinking and living a life that I hate, or not drinking, working the steps, going to meetings and living sober. Spontaniety does come back with sober living plus for me, you get variety too... when I was drinking, that's all I did... now I can do anything, anytime, and that's very liberating.
To me, it's a *choice* between drinking and living a life that I hate, or not drinking, working the steps, going to meetings and living sober. Spontaniety does come back with sober living plus for me, you get variety too... when I was drinking, that's all I did... now I can do anything, anytime, and that's very liberating.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado
Posts: 43
heh tommy
yeh- there was a part of me that drank/used because i never knew where i would end up
fear of what might happen was best addressed thru chemical courage , i thought.
nowadays i try to LIVE fearlessly - but to live in acceptance of the results of my decisions.
much stranger and wilder!!
and i don't hurt others or myself in the process...
cool
yeh- there was a part of me that drank/used because i never knew where i would end up
fear of what might happen was best addressed thru chemical courage , i thought.
nowadays i try to LIVE fearlessly - but to live in acceptance of the results of my decisions.
much stranger and wilder!!
and i don't hurt others or myself in the process...
cool
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
hi Tommy sail on!!!! i lived in chaos..........addicted to chaos.....i think this has been the hardest thing to learn to live without........learning to live period..without chemicals.
My brother told me one day.hey, just lay low......ya know? stay home. one day at a time.....it took a long time to "get that". couple of rehabs and 10 clean months later i'm "getting it". I'm not looking for that spontanious chaos today.thank God!!
My life is good today and i have the courage and strength to step outside of my head and live life on lifes terms. Recovery, what a concept!!!! \\//peace
My brother told me one day.hey, just lay low......ya know? stay home. one day at a time.....it took a long time to "get that". couple of rehabs and 10 clean months later i'm "getting it". I'm not looking for that spontanious chaos today.thank God!!
My life is good today and i have the courage and strength to step outside of my head and live life on lifes terms. Recovery, what a concept!!!! \\//peace
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