quercusalba

....I apologize for posting like a mad fiend lately... it's part of my game plan, though, so please bear with me.

I was seized by a craving about an hour ago. My first impulse, as of old, was to drink. Unfortunately, I have free access to literally gallons of pure ethanol (it's not for drinking, of course, but that hasn't stopped me in the past) here at my job, so it wouldn't be difficult to give in to that desire. However - NO, I will not do that... nor will I do what I have been doing secondarily over lo, these past several months, which is stuffing food into that same void I try to fill with alcohol. I won't give into that, either! Instead... I went for a walk. The work can wait. I was rewarded with balmy breezes and the sight of spring's first wildflower, Tussilago farfara, aka Coltsfoot, a lovely and welcome little bright yellow sight! I came back calmer, made myself a hot mug of green tea, and here I am, craving gone. Little steps sometimes, minute by minute. Tonight, I'll go to my counseling session, then go running and lift weights, then hit a meeting.

Another sober hour. Thank God, and thank all of you.

--anne

Dan

Just stepping out of the room, sometimes helps us get away from out thoughts.
It's so bloody simple really, yet one of the most difficult things to do.
Powerful example Anne.

BikerBill8

Good for you Anne, You did the right thing and keep on posting here as often as you like. Be Cool. BikerBill8

Cathy31

That's great Anne, good for you. Your posts are great, please post as often as you wish!! That was really very strong of you, well done. And GOOD for you, you deserve it! I find it really helps when we have the day planned you know like you had - I also had gym stuff then meeting tonight after hectic day, it was great. REAL bummer about having access to alcohol (in whatever form LOL who cares!) but you withstood the temptation, WELL DONE!
Cathy31
x

Andy F

Hi Anne

What a useful post for anyone going through the same thing.

The lesson for me. Cravings do pass. It isn't forever. I hope you are getting some self-belief and hope from this.

CarolD

choices make one a winner! Well done!

Chy

I'm glad you were able to work through it. Keep up the good work and don't worry about posting, see my posts? Was a wild woman in early recovery all over the place, still working on that

CAPTAINZING2000

Anne,

I hope that you are still able to work your desires in a constructive manner.

Nice post

quercusalba

Wanted to say thanks to all you guys for responding to this post of mine... reading it over again today is helpful. I'm feeling very down right now and reading your words lifts my heart. When I'm feeling sad like this, I have been apt in the past to try filling the void with alcohol. I won't do that now, not today. Sometimes it's very hard to be constructive, but I'm working on it day by day. One of my favorite quotes (heard here or at a meeting) is that 'there's nothing so bad that it can't be made worse by drinking.' So true! My blues today don't have to do specifically with my alcoholism, but I do know that there's a relationship there and that I need to guard my thoughts and actions closely. Thank you all for being here with me.

--anne

BikerBill8

Anne, Thank you for being here too. Be Cool. BikerBill8

lulu70

Thank you for all your inspiring posts! Don't ever slow down!!!! My postings come in fits and spurts.

Anyways--your first post was such a great reminder that we have SO MANY choices for fighting those cravings.

Thanks again!

Greatful2004

Hi Anna,
I'm so glad you made it thru your craving and did something productive.

My therapist told me a typical craving goes away within 15 mins. Putting a time frame on it helped me immenesly, I KNOW now that it will go away. It's not gonna last forever, it's normal.

A BIG part of my recovery program is to enjoy nature. I know that sounds goofy. But I have to force myself sometimes to notice the beauty in the world, because it is real & outside of my head. And if I stay in my head, that's when I get in trouble.

Now I am musing about my recovery, just so you don't feel alone in it!!

quercusalba

Thanks for musing along with me, Greatful! It doesn't sound goofy to me at all that you would use enjoyment of nature to help in your recovery. That's actually a big part of my recovery as well. I love hiking, kayaking, canoeing, running or walking in the woods... and simply soaking in the beauty in the world. Now that everything is waking up from winter, the world is just bursting with life and beauty. Another terrific point you make is that it is SO important not to get stuck in your head - that's where I get in trouble, too.

Bill and Lulu - thanks for chiming in! I really needed a little encouragement. Thank you for that.

take care all,
--anne

CAPTAINZING2000

I've went on some vacations in my drinking day. There would have been some better memories had I been sober. Mostly, all I have is some photo's of my time on islands etc. to let me know, I was on vacation. When, your head is filled with rum, you lose a lot of memory. Hiking in the bamboo forrest in Maui walking upon waterfalls sober having a lasting impression makes me sad that, I ever thought that a drink would make my time better

mrs mipsy

Well done anne, I also love little signs like the flower you saw. I'm still in drink, but am waiting for a detox bed anyday. Sometimes those small moments mean so much, over here in the uk all our trees are budding and bulbs sprouting. The other day I had a thought which sounds dismal I know but ultimately true. I thought about how much I regonise these natural elements changing around us and that I can have so many more years of seeing these beautiful ongoing changes if I stop slowly killing myself. Depressing? Uplifting? oh, confusion! All I know is that I want to carry on witnessing natures course and not drowning in my own course of addiction. Wish you well Anne, keep up the good work, you are inspiring.