Feeling edgy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Forgotten Land TN
Posts: 13
Feeling edgy
Today was day 54 for me. I haven't had a problem with cravings. The only problem I have is insomnia and that may have nothing to do with alcohol. I've been in therapy since October for anxiety attacks among other things.
All day I have felt slightly nervous. This evening I wanted to kill my dog and by the time the poor thing got quiet and fell asleep, I was shaking and my heart was pounding.
Now I'm sitting here trying to work because I desperately need some money, but I can't work over 5 minutes at a time. I feel like a drink would calm me and help me concentrate. Sounds familiar, huh? It's not to the point that I'll go get a drink, but it is very aggravating to know something needs to be done but can so easily be neglected.
I don't even WANT a drink, but feel that it would help. Maybe I should have taken my therapist's advice and gotten meds for my anxiety, which I thought was under my own control until this point.
Thanks for listening. I'm going to give it another shot. Since I can't sleep at night, I have plenty of time....
All day I have felt slightly nervous. This evening I wanted to kill my dog and by the time the poor thing got quiet and fell asleep, I was shaking and my heart was pounding.
Now I'm sitting here trying to work because I desperately need some money, but I can't work over 5 minutes at a time. I feel like a drink would calm me and help me concentrate. Sounds familiar, huh? It's not to the point that I'll go get a drink, but it is very aggravating to know something needs to be done but can so easily be neglected.
I don't even WANT a drink, but feel that it would help. Maybe I should have taken my therapist's advice and gotten meds for my anxiety, which I thought was under my own control until this point.
Thanks for listening. I'm going to give it another shot. Since I can't sleep at night, I have plenty of time....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: portland, maine
Posts: 26
me too
i quit drinking on jan 16 like you. i haven't been keeping track of days this time like i did religiously last time i quit for nine months a couple of yrs ago. last time i kept a large cardboard poster where i updated the count daily until day 111, then quit counting though i stayed sober for several more months.
i am having truly awful insomnia too. right now i am falling asleep at 10 am and waking at 3 pm. this is absolutely wrecking, or at least very seriously endangering school, for me. particularly since my school is soooo anal about attendance.
i have bad anxiety too. but like you, i am not really tempted to drink. it's weird, i am not even working all that hard at it this time like i did two years ago, when i would sit around and read recovery book after book, even went to a few aa meetings, tried to exercise as a substitution, etc, but this time it has been fairly effortless to not drink.
not many people know this, but it's a fact of human physiology that the human body in its normal state, is on a 26 hr cycle not 24 hr cycle. this basically means the body, left to its own devices, will shut down later and later and wake later and later. this is pretty much my problem. i just hope it gets better before the whole semester goes down the tubes. if that happens, even though i know it won't help, you can bet i will be getting extremely drunk.
i am having truly awful insomnia too. right now i am falling asleep at 10 am and waking at 3 pm. this is absolutely wrecking, or at least very seriously endangering school, for me. particularly since my school is soooo anal about attendance.
i have bad anxiety too. but like you, i am not really tempted to drink. it's weird, i am not even working all that hard at it this time like i did two years ago, when i would sit around and read recovery book after book, even went to a few aa meetings, tried to exercise as a substitution, etc, but this time it has been fairly effortless to not drink.
not many people know this, but it's a fact of human physiology that the human body in its normal state, is on a 26 hr cycle not 24 hr cycle. this basically means the body, left to its own devices, will shut down later and later and wake later and later. this is pretty much my problem. i just hope it gets better before the whole semester goes down the tubes. if that happens, even though i know it won't help, you can bet i will be getting extremely drunk.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
Hello Tn and Newly.. Congratulations on your day 54!! My name's Michele and I'm an alkie living in California and Mexico. I want to assure you that the insomia you're both experiencing will go away. When I was in detox 3 years ago (today is my 3 year birthday!) I got turned onto some fabulous herb teas. The strongest one is made by "Stash" teas and it's called "nighty nite" Two tea bags in hot water really did the trick for me and many others who also needed time to get their sleeping cycle back to normal. If I couldn't find the "Stash" tea I also drank "Celestial Seasonings" Wellness tea with Valerian root and St John's Wort.. that also worked like a dream but didn't taste as good. Good old fashion camomile tea works well too but it's just not as strong and it made me pee all night! You can go to any health food store and find an herbal remedy for anxiety too... but be aware and look for tinctures that are NOT in an alcohol base. There is an herbel remedy called "Calms Forte" that is a natural sleep aid. Regular "Calms" is good for anxiety. I have to tell you though that along side these teas and natural remedies I made myself exercise daily.. walking a few miles each morning and then a cup of herbal tea before bed brought on an increasing delicious sleep which I consider one of the most comfortable and enjoyable side effects of being sober!!! I'm sure you've heard this enough but I have to remind you again that you probably spent a bit of time getting yourself soused on booze or finding another bag and getting sober and sleeping well is a process and you will get better and better if you just hang in there. It just doesn't happen overnight.
Don't let your past become your future. My best wishes for you both!!
Don't let your past become your future. My best wishes for you both!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Forgotten Land TN
Posts: 13
Thanks to you both. It's nice to know I'm not the only one to ever bounce off walls while this half of the world is quietly stacking ZZZZZZ's.
I haven't had coffee in HOURS. I've been drinking lemonade and milk, so I'm going to go read my CODA book and hopefully the sandman will make his way my way soon!!
I haven't had coffee in HOURS. I've been drinking lemonade and milk, so I'm going to go read my CODA book and hopefully the sandman will make his way my way soon!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Don't worry about it. You're just not using booze as a sedative any more. When you get tired enough, you'll got to sleep.
You might consider a good hard days work followed by some strenuous exercise, eating properly, maybe an AA meeting with a little chat afterward and then go to bed. No good is served sitting around worrying about it.
You might consider a good hard days work followed by some strenuous exercise, eating properly, maybe an AA meeting with a little chat afterward and then go to bed. No good is served sitting around worrying about it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: portland, maine
Posts: 26
...
a hard day's work followed by strenuous exercise, proper eating, and an AA meeting? all of these are absolutely antithetical to the principles of Homer Simpson. i gotta wonder what you see in him if the above reflects your priorities?
i should add i am a diehard simpsons, and especially homer, fan.
i should add i am a diehard simpsons, and especially homer, fan.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by NewlySober
a hard day's work followed by strenuous exercise, proper eating, and an AA meeting? all of these are absolutely antithetical to the principles of Homer Simpson. i gotta wonder what you see in him if the above reflects your priorities?
i should add i am a diehard simpsons, and especially homer, fan.
i should add i am a diehard simpsons, and especially homer, fan.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...
some newly sober alcoholics suffer from PAWS
Check out...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
'Tjos too shall pass...' BUT not if you start drinking again.
Check out...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
'Tjos too shall pass...' BUT not if you start drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: portland, maine
Posts: 26
....
just to re-clarify.....i am not an alcoholic.
i have never gotten a dui, have never had a health problem (alcohol-related or not), have never been in the hospital, have never had a school or work-related problem (again not alcohol-related or not, at all) or any legal problems.. i have not drank wine or hard liquor more than a handful (maybe 6-7 times) in my whole life, and always in very small quantities and at social functions like weddings and new year's parties (again keeping in mind these occasions would number 6-7 times total in my whole life).
i just don't like hangovers, that is all. just like i don't like the fatigue i feel when i stay up all night studying for a test. so i try not to do it much. same deal with beer. i like this board because it's more secular than most, less aa-thumping, and a lot of people like chemist, the college boy and others who have much more moderate problems with beer like myself. i don't consider it alcoholism because it's never caused me one school, work, health, or legal problem, and because i have been quitting for several wks, which a few times has turned into several months........have been doing this for many years now. it does exhibit a small, minor but over long-term stable, dependency on beer, but it's not full-blown alcoholism with all the attendant consequences.
i have never gotten a dui, have never had a health problem (alcohol-related or not), have never been in the hospital, have never had a school or work-related problem (again not alcohol-related or not, at all) or any legal problems.. i have not drank wine or hard liquor more than a handful (maybe 6-7 times) in my whole life, and always in very small quantities and at social functions like weddings and new year's parties (again keeping in mind these occasions would number 6-7 times total in my whole life).
i just don't like hangovers, that is all. just like i don't like the fatigue i feel when i stay up all night studying for a test. so i try not to do it much. same deal with beer. i like this board because it's more secular than most, less aa-thumping, and a lot of people like chemist, the college boy and others who have much more moderate problems with beer like myself. i don't consider it alcoholism because it's never caused me one school, work, health, or legal problem, and because i have been quitting for several wks, which a few times has turned into several months........have been doing this for many years now. it does exhibit a small, minor but over long-term stable, dependency on beer, but it's not full-blown alcoholism with all the attendant consequences.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Originally Posted by NewlySober
just to re-clarify.....i am not an alcoholic.
i have never gotten a dui, have never had a health problem (alcohol-related or not), have never been in the hospital, have never had a school or work-related problem (again not alcohol-related or not, at all) or any legal problems.. i have not drank wine or hard liquor more than a handful (maybe 6-7 times) in my whole life, and always in very small quantities and at social functions like weddings and new year's parties (again keeping in mind these occasions would number 6-7 times total in my whole life).
i just don't like hangovers, that is all. just like i don't like the fatigue i feel when i stay up all night studying for a test. so i try not to do it much. same deal with beer. i like this board because it's more secular than most, less aa-thumping, and a lot of people like chemist, the college boy and others who have much more moderate problems with beer like myself. i don't consider it alcoholism because it's never caused me one school, work, health, or legal problem, and because i have been quitting for several wks, which a few times has turned into several months........have been doing this for many years now. it does exhibit a small, minor but over long-term stable, dependency on beer, but it's not full-blown alcoholism with all the attendant consequences.
i have never gotten a dui, have never had a health problem (alcohol-related or not), have never been in the hospital, have never had a school or work-related problem (again not alcohol-related or not, at all) or any legal problems.. i have not drank wine or hard liquor more than a handful (maybe 6-7 times) in my whole life, and always in very small quantities and at social functions like weddings and new year's parties (again keeping in mind these occasions would number 6-7 times total in my whole life).
i just don't like hangovers, that is all. just like i don't like the fatigue i feel when i stay up all night studying for a test. so i try not to do it much. same deal with beer. i like this board because it's more secular than most, less aa-thumping, and a lot of people like chemist, the college boy and others who have much more moderate problems with beer like myself. i don't consider it alcoholism because it's never caused me one school, work, health, or legal problem, and because i have been quitting for several wks, which a few times has turned into several months........have been doing this for many years now. it does exhibit a small, minor but over long-term stable, dependency on beer, but it's not full-blown alcoholism with all the attendant consequences.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posts: 47
Feeling edgy
Hi I am 71 days & I too have not considered myself an alkie. I've always drank but never had any problems relating to drinking, even smoking pot for a few years didn't cause any concerns - that I could see. I since have thought about the lucky situations I have survived & had some memories & guilt when I thought about it all.
We have a culture in Australia that you have to drink to do everything. The more you can handle the better etc....There are alcohol ad's on tv morn, noon & night. To do anything - you have to have a drink in your hand.
I only began taking a closer look learning from my Addict Hubby who was clean & sober in NA. He taught me so much & when he relapsed I found NarAnon (my own 12 step program based on AA/NA's 12 steps). Since meeting addicts/alkies & doing my own 12 step programe I found some of MY behaviour was & had been in the past contributing to certain uncomfortable situations.
This is the first time I decided to stop completely.The last big night out I ended up sitting on a railway station all night waiting for the 1st train, then got on & it turned out to be the wrong train. "Stop the world - I want to get off".....................
I had heard of 'high functioning alcoholism' I identify with this as I work in a highly stressful advertising sales job, the pressure is so great & the hours I put in are so long. Lately as I can't sleep I've been waking @ 5.30am & getting to work by 7am leaving @ 5pm & sleeping from 11pm. It is now 2.30am & Im still firing away. When I move house I do it during the night - I find it cooler, no traffic or people around.
I am identifying & learning so much. I love the support given on this forum. Thanks to everyone I know this is the path I want.
I have always known my HP is always with me.
Thanks
"Focusontoday"
We have a culture in Australia that you have to drink to do everything. The more you can handle the better etc....There are alcohol ad's on tv morn, noon & night. To do anything - you have to have a drink in your hand.
I only began taking a closer look learning from my Addict Hubby who was clean & sober in NA. He taught me so much & when he relapsed I found NarAnon (my own 12 step program based on AA/NA's 12 steps). Since meeting addicts/alkies & doing my own 12 step programe I found some of MY behaviour was & had been in the past contributing to certain uncomfortable situations.
This is the first time I decided to stop completely.The last big night out I ended up sitting on a railway station all night waiting for the 1st train, then got on & it turned out to be the wrong train. "Stop the world - I want to get off".....................
I had heard of 'high functioning alcoholism' I identify with this as I work in a highly stressful advertising sales job, the pressure is so great & the hours I put in are so long. Lately as I can't sleep I've been waking @ 5.30am & getting to work by 7am leaving @ 5pm & sleeping from 11pm. It is now 2.30am & Im still firing away. When I move house I do it during the night - I find it cooler, no traffic or people around.
I am identifying & learning so much. I love the support given on this forum. Thanks to everyone I know this is the path I want.
I have always known my HP is always with me.
Thanks
"Focusontoday"
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