connie

Hi,

This is my first time on this message board.

I'm familiar with alcoholism, having attended al-anon several years ago because of my ex-husband's drinking problem.

I have a question, but here's a little background info first:

My supervisor, a registerd nurse, just got back from 3 days of voluntary inpatient alcohol treatment and will be starting outpatient treatment next week.

I'm so relieved that she is getting help, but also see some troubling behaviors.
-she has made statements which minimize what happened--I saw first hand, so I know what happened
-she sees some of her drinking episodes as funny
-after removing all hard liquor from inside the home she left some beer on the porch, because "the beer doesn't bother her". (her husband drinks beer) I commented that beer on the porch is close enough to in the house, but she doesn't see it that way.
-she bought some ODouls, but on second thought got rid of it because she didn't want to be "teased" with the flavor.
-she thinks it is possible for her to someday be able to have a drink every so often.

I understand about detachment, which leads up to my question:

Is there a fine line between detachment and speaking your conscience when it comes to letting the alcoholic know you feel they may be jeopardizing their recovery?

Any insights would be welcome.

connie

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LovePeaceHope

Pernell Johnson

Connie, welcome to the forum. You have stated a classic case of reservations. You also stated that your supervisor just came out of a treatment facility. She knows all the things you mentioned are no-no's. She learned that in the facility, she also knows that when she goes to out-patient treatment she will be tested with a breathalyzer for BAC--Blood Alcohol Content--She is not yet finish, the bottom has not fallen out. No matter what you say will not make a difference until she is screaming for help cause life just is not having it anymore, could cirrhosis that is the bottom, could be losing something dear and near, whatever it is you have to let it happen. When she is finished then you can help. Just listen, that is a big help right now, can you listen without commenting?

connie

Hi Pernell,

It was good to be reminded that I have no power over any of my supervisor's choices, and in answer to your question, can I listen without commenting: Very definitely, Yes. That was exactly what I needed to hear.

As an update, today, my supervisor met with 3 of her supervisory chain. She went in a bit paranoid, but kept telling herself not to be. It sounds like it went well.

She came back from the meeting stating that she feels if she relapses again she will end up dead--she feels she is in a life and death fight over alchohol, literally fighting for her life.

She also stated that she HAS to comply with her out-patient treatment or else the insurance won't pay for any of it. She then added that she needed to stick with it if she wanted to stay alive, too.

So I will listen, and keep being supportive of all that she is doing "right" for her recovery. I am proud of her for taking that first step and have told her so several times--she's more than a boss, she's also my friend...

Thanks again for your response!

connie



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LovePeaceHope