Patrickk

I'm not doing very well today.not too good at all.First I must say I cracked and drank a few days,one turning into another "homer" moment.Ive been straight for 3 days now,first 2 recovering from a binge but today I cant shut my alcoholic thinking off.I actually resorted to getting changed into sleepwear at 2 in the afternoon to keep me from doing something I will regret.Im home alone for the next few hours,normally I would be happy because I can drink in peace but I dont want to drink.So that leaves me with a confusing craving to go to the store or bar,I say confusing because its not what I really want,its what my addiction to alcohol wants.Understand? me neither. Cant leave the house in pajamas,so Im here to stay,all uncomfortable and $hit.I signed up at a out-patient rehab yesterday but wont hear from them until Tuesday.It was very hard step for me to make,I hated giving my personal info,now Im documented as an alcoholic,just hope it does not screw me in my future when I get sober and have some rewarding goals at stake.Gonna live for today,maybe Ill do some reading since I already exercised and that did not help my cravings/drinking thoughts go away.Its been a long time since I got this type of craving so soon after not drinking,my alcoholism must be getting more advanced I guess.

Anna

Hi Patrick,

That's what alcoholism does - it gets worse unless we stop it. I'm sorry you're having a hard day and I hope that you get into out-patient rehab. It sounds like it would be a good start. You've stopped drinking and you need to learn to make changes in your life. My life became very small when I was drinking and I had to venture out and get involved in things that I had done before. It ended up being very gratifying. You'll be just fine if you hang on today. Each time you beat a craving you become stronger.

Love, Anna

bikewench

Patrick...

If you've only been clean 3 days... those cravings are your body talking to ya..

Their getting desperate.. ;o)

I have learned to come at cravings from the side. I acknowledge them.. that I'm powerless to make them go away... and then I mentally connect to my HP and try and stay there as much as I can.

Doing something that needs to be done is usually a good way to decoy myself from obsessing as well.

Stay close here today in any case ... we'll keep you company.. ;o)

Patrickk

hi,Im trying distractions,like eating(which helped) and reading crap online.I think the best thing for me(in this mood) is to go lay down and maybe watch some tv or a movie and maybe fall asleep(bad sleep last night).First couple of days I go w/o beer I seem to sweat alot on the back of my neck,not whole body night sweats just on the back of neck,withdrawal? The dangerous craving seemed to have passed at this point but I just know it will be back,and I will keep fighting them off,Im straight for today.thanks,Patrickk aka IMHomerSimpson

GG733

Get a copy of "Living Sober". It's usually available at AA meetings or service centers. In it you'll find several suggestions on how to handle those nasty cravings...my favorite was sweets. Baskin and Robbins was my "bar" of choice for the first three months or so . Booze being the by-product of sugar fermenting...or more literally...microbes consume sugar and excrete booze...you're literally drinking $hit. So, is it $hit or sweets?!?

youngirish

Hey,

I'm just seven days sober. I'm getting those cravings like CRAZY! I'm not expert on these things but I can tell you that they will pass. Do you have any friend who don't use? Maybe you need to get out and hear someone else's voice rather then the ones in your own head (this is what i need to do sometimes). What I did yesterday when I was having those cravings were go to blockbuster and rent a whole 3 seasons of Soprano's and watched them. Before we watched them we went out for a coffee. Lol lame I know, but just the change of environment and conversation with my boyfriend helped with focusing on other things rather then the obnoxious compulsion to drink. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I want to drink, it feels like I NEED too. I don't know where you are, but I'm in Toronto and in the yellow pages under addictions there is a number for AA and they are open until 10 pm. When I'm feeling desperate as hell and I'm alone I have called them, and they are so nice they'll talk to you forever. I used to feel self conscious calling and really didnt' want to, but once you talk to them you realize that you are basically speaking to yourself, but a future healthier you. You will be speaking to a recovering alcoholic and they know EXACTLY what you're feeling. I don't have an AA sponser myself, but I hear its a good thing to get them. Apparently its ok to call and bug them any time of day you're feeling a craving , I know for me this would be a very good thing. Anyways, try not to give into the cravings. You will thank yourself tomorrow morning when you don't feel guilty and don't have the world hating on you for all the stupid things you did. Its hard i know!!! Good luck to you.

NoMoBeer

Patrick!
Hey, buddy -- been wondering what you're up to. Sounds like you're having a tough day. Great step on the outpatient stuff -- hopefully it will help. Keep an open mind and give it a shot. Never did the outpatient thing myself.

First couple of days are always tough. Sweats, shakes, and the obsession to drink. Tough stuff for sure. Someone suggested the book Living Sober -- great book. You can pick it up at some AA meetings or a recovery store. Hell, if you can't find it, email me and I'll send you a copy.

Glad to see you back on the boards, hang on and you'll make it through the day, just deal with that -- just for today.

Ken

Patrickk

man,this day just keeps getting worse.I think Im experiencing my first withdrawal from alcohol.All the other times I stopped I still had thc from weed in my system but since I stopped smoking that stuff about a month ago its a different reaction to my body without the alcohol.Shakes on day 1,some sweating at weird times,terrible anxiety,headaches,angry and irritable,no appetite,diarhea,stomachache,etc.. I feel like I just dont want to be bothered by anyone or I just may snap on them(Im doing ok controlling my anger though).I did however drop my medicine in the sink by accident,got pissed,turned around and wanted to punch the wall but only "faked" the punch,unfortunately my fake punch did not stop in time and now I have a hole in wall to fix.I really wanted to just go balistic at the time,it took everything in me to hold back enough(well sort of hold back) all over a closed bottle just falling in the sink,the sink was empty too.I feel more relaxed at the moment,I just want to feel good like Ive always felt after 3 days without drinking.Maybe its because I know deep down this could really be it,my first experience with any treatment coming soon and I cant back out.Im feeling really bad,real bad,just terrible.At least the wife is not hating me and supporting me by talking with me about how Im feeling,its helping.

2dayzmuse

I'm glad you made it back Patrick. It sounds like you've finally have had "enough". The progression of alcoholism never ceases to amaze me. Just when you things can't get any worse they do and they will. I'm so happy to hear that you're looking into rehab. Your taking the first steps in finding sobriety. What a huge step that is. Good for you! We're here for you and rooting for you. You're doing the right thing and making a wise decision. Follow through and don't let your disease tell you otherwise. You know how that "voice" can get. Stay strong, you're going through the worse now. It will get better. Think back when you had several weeks sober. You were a fun-loving, happier Homer. May the next "Homer" moment be a positive one. You can change things around for the better. From what I see, you're heading in the right direction to succeeding. Things don't have to be the way they were. Keep fighting the good fight. Never give up. Keep us posted on your progress. I for one care about how things turn out for you. I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck Patrick...

HhM

You are so lucky to still have your wife by your side to support you. Hang in there! We all have it in us to fight the craving, we just have to realize it, I think. I'll be honest with you, I'd love to have a beer right now! But, I won't. So, lets do this together!

Chy

Hang in there Parick! We'll be here for you! I'm very proud of you for taking that step, I know it was hard. I hope they can help! In the meantime stick around here!