100

I'm taking my time with this 4th step because I'm not ready to disclose several huge realizations that I'm currently experiencing. I rushed it last time and didn't consider the why, I act and think like I do. I kinda completely missed the point of the 4 step and basically thought it was just get things off your chest type of deal. I didn't deliberately withhold things, just didn't realy examine why I did certain things. this time doing the 4 th step I realize I'm trans gender and I'm fairly sure now. I told a co worker who I trust and, even if people at work found I wouldnot care because I'm friends out side of work. she said it's okay, and that was big for me.
I have a new name I'm trying out Anna. I have started posting to a trans forum as well. I still am not sure what I'm going to do. thier is no denying it I think a lot about being a girl and I would like to dress as one which I sometimes do in secret but I'm terrified of getting caught. also I realize I need to get my act together get a better job and move out of my parents house. I need to stop making excuses, and live my life being my authentic self.
Anna and david

Dee74

I believe we all need to be true to ourselves - even more so when addiction clouds and complicates things.

Hows the stopping vaping thing going?

D

100

not good at all

Dee74

Thanks for being honest
You say you want to live as your authentic self - do you see your authentic self living a life free of addiction?

I know I used to think 'I'll quit my addictions when I'm happy and have my life in order' but I never got to that point.
I was actually tricking myself to keep drinking and smoking while I waited for something to happen.

The only way I know to have a clear head and a fundamental happiness is to be in recovery

D

BullDog777

I tell all the guys I sponsor that the 4th step is just designed to make people self aware of their character. That's it in a nutshell. I feel like a lot of people make a bigger deal out of this than is truly necessary.

The 5th step, here again, imo is just talking with someone else about how your addiction has effected you and your relationships with others. So many people confuse this with a full confession of every thing you've ever done and I've seen more than a few people get so freaked out about it, some end up running for the hills.

If you stick with sobriety, particularly AA, this isn't the last time you'll go through the steps. I go through them once a year with the people I sponsor. Try not to put pressure on yourself to get it perfect the first time through.

As for the rest, It helps sometimes to make a time line. This will help you go in a positive direction for your future if you set some goals you can meet. A lot of times in my early sobriety, I knew I needed to move on certain things, but I wouldn't know where to start and I'd just freeze from indecision and fear. I wasted a lot of time doing that.

Therapy helped me sort that out. You've joined a support group, and that's a good first step.

novips

As I understand it, the purpose of the 4th Step inventory is to allow us to face and get rid of the things that have been blocking us from our Higher Power. I assume "being inauthentic" can be such a "character defect" -- and that to the extent it is, a great weight will be lifted off you as a result of seeing the truth about that. If you are a real alcoholic, however, there may be a temptation to conclude that "authenticity" is then your solution -- rather than, for example, fully committing to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I encourage you to keep an open mind about the possibility that you may be the type of alcoholic who -- like me -- can only stay clean and sober by fully committing to the recovery program of AA, regardless of gender identity.

Farrier

I'm a few days over a year of sobriety but my 4th step isn't complete yet. I'm glad that I kinda sorta paused on it because I recognize so much more now than I did at 90 days. Too me it's proof that the body and brain needs time to heal.

Be honest with yourself and you'll be more happy in the long run. Be yourself in your own skin.

VikingGF

100- I hope you find the peace you have been seeking, your determination is admirable.

Dee74

Its been a while David - how are you?

D