Have I lost my sharp mind?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Exactly what Dee said. The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking.
I don't know why some people in AA feel a need to take other peoples' inventory. I would ask them that if they say it again. No one else can diagnose your drinking problem, and I would wonder at the agenda of anyone who said something like that.
Well done on 293 days, and on making it past that event without drinking. That's how it's done.
I don't know why some people in AA feel a need to take other peoples' inventory. I would ask them that if they say it again. No one else can diagnose your drinking problem, and I would wonder at the agenda of anyone who said something like that.
Well done on 293 days, and on making it past that event without drinking. That's how it's done.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,382
Originally Posted by gms 
Reflecting back on the past I would say that after 6 months without any drinks my cravings disappeared completely. AA friends told me that I probably was not a true alcoholic, but a heavy drinker. I now feel like a fraud in AA. That said, I solved 80 percent of my alcohol problem myself, but wouldn't be able to conqueror the remaining 20 percent without AA. I just sat there, gave my day count, and it was enough. My doctor prescribed me acamprosate, which I took, but I don't think it made a difference. It might have been this drug that messed up my memory temporarily. Not by much, but enough for me to notice and be worried.
I recently went through a very traumatic event. One day during this time I went to a shore and got a bag or beer and other liquor. I didn't crave the taste of alcohol itself, but numbness that it brings. I almost drank it, but told about it over the phone to another person, who's not in AA. They told me to stay strong. I left the liquor in the fridge for a few days and poured it down the drain eventually. I think a normal person would just get drunk, so I don't think my behavior was abnormal. If anything, my experience made me stay sober.
It's been 293 days since my last drink.
I recently went through a very traumatic event. One day during this time I went to a shore and got a bag or beer and other liquor. I didn't crave the taste of alcohol itself, but numbness that it brings. I almost drank it, but told about it over the phone to another person, who's not in AA. They told me to stay strong. I left the liquor in the fridge for a few days and poured it down the drain eventually. I think a normal person would just get drunk, so I don't think my behavior was abnormal. If anything, my experience made me stay sober.
It's been 293 days since my last drink.
You're doing well, gms: steady as you go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
It has been 369 days since the last drink.
The traumatic event from a few months ago is still with me. It changed the course of my life in a way I did not expect.
I may soon lose my job due to layoffs. I will then lose my work visa too and will have to move countries. Interviewing for a new job will test my brain just like an MRI.
A close friend, who didn't see me for a few years, told me that I now have more empathy towards others. I don't know if this is due to the recent trauma or a year of sobriety.
The traumatic event from a few months ago is still with me. It changed the course of my life in a way I did not expect.
I may soon lose my job due to layoffs. I will then lose my work visa too and will have to move countries. Interviewing for a new job will test my brain just like an MRI.
A close friend, who didn't see me for a few years, told me that I now have more empathy towards others. I don't know if this is due to the recent trauma or a year of sobriety.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,457
I understand the fear, but all or any of those things may not come to pass gms.
I'm sorry you're still affected by trauma - have you spoken to any professionals about it?
congrats on over a year alcohol free
D
I'm sorry you're still affected by trauma - have you spoken to any professionals about it?
congrats on over a year alcohol free
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Trauma will stick around in one way or another . . .in my experience it just takes time and a constant desire to re-frame the event in any way I can.
I hope your job situation works out to your benefit. Usually when I have to make a big change it turns out great once I get past the initial discomfort.
Congratulations on passing One Year Sober.
I hope your job situation works out to your benefit. Usually when I have to make a big change it turns out great once I get past the initial discomfort.
Congratulations on passing One Year Sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
The trauma is still with me. What happened was really bad and I had already been in a bad mental shape when it happened.
I'm now preparing for job interviews and I don't know if my cognition is where it was 10 years ago. One thing that I notice is forgetting names of fictional characters in TV shows. Maybe the brain prioritizes it lower than real people, but it still worries me. Another thing is that some situations limit how well I can focus. For example, being in the workplace is better for my ability to channel thinking into work/study than being at home. It wasn't a problem 10 years ago.
It's been 411 days since my last drink.
I'm now preparing for job interviews and I don't know if my cognition is where it was 10 years ago. One thing that I notice is forgetting names of fictional characters in TV shows. Maybe the brain prioritizes it lower than real people, but it still worries me. Another thing is that some situations limit how well I can focus. For example, being in the workplace is better for my ability to channel thinking into work/study than being at home. It wasn't a problem 10 years ago.
It's been 411 days since my last drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Are you talking to anyone about the specifics of your trauma? It might help if you can find a sympathetic listener, whether that's a therapist, a clergy member, an AA sponsor or a friend.
The other thing that helped me a lot was a journal. I just used One Note. It was hugely helpful to me to spend a few minutes per day just letting the thoughts flow from my fingers. Then I would put it away until the next morning. There's a lot to be said for scheduling worrying or fearful thoughts and then dismissing them for the rest of the day until it's time to journal again.
The other thing that helped me a lot was a journal. I just used One Note. It was hugely helpful to me to spend a few minutes per day just letting the thoughts flow from my fingers. Then I would put it away until the next morning. There's a lot to be said for scheduling worrying or fearful thoughts and then dismissing them for the rest of the day until it's time to journal again.
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