Have I lost my sharp mind?
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I'm a software analyst and definitely suffered a decline in my abilities as my drinking career progressed. I started seeing improvements after a few months; once a year had passed I felt fully "back." I have never heard of anyone who permanently lost their cognitive abilities for whom it wasn't related to a medically emergent situation. I think the consensus here is pretty clear - stopping entirely is your best bet. Conversely, continuing to drink isn't doing your brain any favors.
As far as AA goes, I'd highly recommend that you read pages 1-164 from beginning to end. The 12 & 12 is rather harsh, in my opinion - I really couldn't take it in until I was a little bit more solid in my recovery. Spirituality can be anything, as the book says. Your desire to use/regain your cognitive functions might be the clue for now. Where did your analyst brain come from in the first place? Maybe that 'whatever it is' might be your higher power.
The steps are suggested, not required. What bim said is written in the Traditions, so you can take that to the bank: All you need to belong is the desire to stop drinking.
O
As far as AA goes, I'd highly recommend that you read pages 1-164 from beginning to end. The 12 & 12 is rather harsh, in my opinion - I really couldn't take it in until I was a little bit more solid in my recovery. Spirituality can be anything, as the book says. Your desire to use/regain your cognitive functions might be the clue for now. Where did your analyst brain come from in the first place? Maybe that 'whatever it is' might be your higher power.
The steps are suggested, not required. What bim said is written in the Traditions, so you can take that to the bank: All you need to belong is the desire to stop drinking.
O
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
It has been four months since the last drink. Before that I also had five months when I cut down my drinking by a lot.
I certainly don't want to go back to drinking, but I don't see much change in my energy levels, well-being, or anything else. I expected that everything would be great, but it is not.
There are two things that still worry me. First are my small memory problems. I have trouble recalling names of people and places. It's not too bad, but recently somebody who didn't know me joked that I must be smoking too much weed. The second problem is the occasional pain in the right upper side of my stomach. It's very mild, but comes back, especially when I travel and start eating different food than what I'm used to.
AA has been a good experience mostly. I'm not doing steps, nor do I read the book, but I enjoy listening to people in the meetings. I've never heard people talk honestly about their problems anywhere else.
I certainly don't want to go back to drinking, but I don't see much change in my energy levels, well-being, or anything else. I expected that everything would be great, but it is not.
There are two things that still worry me. First are my small memory problems. I have trouble recalling names of people and places. It's not too bad, but recently somebody who didn't know me joked that I must be smoking too much weed. The second problem is the occasional pain in the right upper side of my stomach. It's very mild, but comes back, especially when I travel and start eating different food than what I'm used to.
AA has been a good experience mostly. I'm not doing steps, nor do I read the book, but I enjoy listening to people in the meetings. I've never heard people talk honestly about their problems anywhere else.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi gms 
The bottom line is you drank for a decade or more… four months is awesome, but it’s just the start of the journey not the end.
Like I said above, my brain and body did heal…not as fast as I wanted it to….but I did heal
I expected everything to be great too but it took more than removing the drink to make my life great ( and even now my great life has dud days…every body does)
Think about what you see as a great life…how do you get there?
start moving
D
The bottom line is you drank for a decade or more… four months is awesome, but it’s just the start of the journey not the end.
Like I said above, my brain and body did heal…not as fast as I wanted it to….but I did heal
I expected everything to be great too but it took more than removing the drink to make my life great ( and even now my great life has dud days…every body does)
Think about what you see as a great life…how do you get there?
start moving
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
The scans need to be interpreted by the radiologist and this can take a few days. I have a scheduled appointment in two months, but I'll try to get another one sooner to get the results.
I read that there are differences in brains even between non-drinkers and moderate drinkers, so I think mine are likely to show something.
I read that there are differences in brains even between non-drinkers and moderate drinkers, so I think mine are likely to show something.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
I got the results, but I haven't spoken to the psychiatrist yet. The results are in a foreign language and I'm not a neurologist. Dr Google Translate says there there is both good and bad. The good is that there is no sign of brain atrophy caused by alcohol. The bad are "minimal ischemic changes in the white matter" and there is also some score that is outside the normal range for my age bracket (I'm almost 40yo). I'm not sure what to make out of this, but the bad things in the results put me in a depressed mood,
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Hi Gms
There is hope not all is lost.
"Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt due to experience. It is an umbrella term referring to the brain's ability to change, reorganize, or grow neural networks. This can involve functional changes due to brain damage or structural changes due to learning." - verywellmind.com
There is hope not all is lost.
"Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt due to experience. It is an umbrella term referring to the brain's ability to change, reorganize, or grow neural networks. This can involve functional changes due to brain damage or structural changes due to learning." - verywellmind.com
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
I finally talked to the doctor.
He said that good news is that there is no sign of alcohol related damage in my brain. The white matter hyperintensities are not good, but they are very minor. He did not say they were alcohol related. He did not refer me to a neurologist and when I asked if the MRI needs to be repeated in a year, he said no. There was also some finding in the sinus (nose), but it's okay if there are no symptoms. I inquired about the score outside the range, and he said that the score was developed for elderly patients, so it is not reliable in my age bracket.
We decided that I should discontinue acamprosate. The reason was my concern about my small memory issues.
The doctor also congratulated me on my sobriety. It's been 172 days since my last drink.
He said that good news is that there is no sign of alcohol related damage in my brain. The white matter hyperintensities are not good, but they are very minor. He did not say they were alcohol related. He did not refer me to a neurologist and when I asked if the MRI needs to be repeated in a year, he said no. There was also some finding in the sinus (nose), but it's okay if there are no symptoms. I inquired about the score outside the range, and he said that the score was developed for elderly patients, so it is not reliable in my age bracket.
We decided that I should discontinue acamprosate. The reason was my concern about my small memory issues.
The doctor also congratulated me on my sobriety. It's been 172 days since my last drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
It's strange: it feels like a relief, although the doctor told me the facts that I had already known. I'm still scared of dementia and think about the damage to my brain that may be very minor and invisible on MRI, but could potentially influence my functioning.
AA meetings start with words "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...". I know these words apply to the state of my body - I cannot change what I put it though, but I still have not accepted it.
AA meetings start with words "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...". I know these words apply to the state of my body - I cannot change what I put it though, but I still have not accepted it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
I don't know if it's brain fog or something more sinister. I though it could have been a side effect of acamprosate (Campral), but I stopped taking it and my problems are still there.
I recently had trouble recalling my girlfriend's sister's name. It happened when I was by myself and just thinking of her and I couldn't remember her name. I went to facebook to check it and it came back when I was about to read it. Seems like that page served as a cue to my brain and it then retrieved the name. My problem can have three explanation: past alcohol use, aging, or depressed mood due to stress and isolation.
I recently had trouble recalling my girlfriend's sister's name. It happened when I was by myself and just thinking of her and I couldn't remember her name. I went to facebook to check it and it came back when I was about to read it. Seems like that page served as a cue to my brain and it then retrieved the name. My problem can have three explanation: past alcohol use, aging, or depressed mood due to stress and isolation.
needingtochange
Join Date: Feb 2023
Location: Long Island, New York
Posts: 154
gms, I'm also having issues like yours. I'm 64 and in relatively good health. I take a supplement which seems to help a lot, but my memory seems less sharp than it once was. You said, "My problem can have three explanations: past alcohol use, aging, or depressed mood due to stress and isolation." It could be some or all three. Try not to worry about something sinister before you know for sure. There are things I'd like to forget, but I don't get to choose. Good luck and keep on keeping on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
Thank you, needingtochange! Well, I'm 38, so I don't think I should be having any memory issues. The thing is that I don't remember having them when I was drinking daily. They seems to have appeared after I quit.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,599
The thing is our lives don't change because we remove alcohol. We still have life to deal with. I think the thing that changes the most when we stop drinking is our future. My drinking got worse amd worse between 14 and when I stopped for good at 50. Every time I quit and then went back to drinking, it was OK for a while and then it escalated.i saw no future and I wanted to die. Quittinh hasnt solved my problems but now i can desl wuth them sensibly and without a hamgover.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 16
Reflecting back on the past I would say that after 6 months without any drinks my cravings disappeared completely. AA friends told me that I probably was not a true alcoholic, but a heavy drinker. I now feel like a fraud in AA. That said, I solved 80 percent of my alcohol problem myself, but wouldn't be able to conqueror the remaining 20 percent without AA. I just sat there, gave my day count, and it was enough. My doctor prescribed me acamprosate, which I took, but I don't think it made a difference. It might have been this drug that messed up my memory temporarily. Not by much, but enough for me to notice and be worried.
I recently went through a very traumatic event. One day during this time I went to a shore and got a bag or beer and other liquor. I didn't crave the taste of alcohol itself, but numbness that it brings. I almost drank it, but told about it over the phone to another person, who's not in AA. They told me to stay strong. I left the liquor in the fridge for a few days and poured it down the drain eventually. I think a normal person would just get drunk, so I don't think my behavior was abnormal. If anything, my experience made me stay sober.
It's been 293 days since my last drink.
I recently went through a very traumatic event. One day during this time I went to a shore and got a bag or beer and other liquor. I didn't crave the taste of alcohol itself, but numbness that it brings. I almost drank it, but told about it over the phone to another person, who's not in AA. They told me to stay strong. I left the liquor in the fridge for a few days and poured it down the drain eventually. I think a normal person would just get drunk, so I don't think my behavior was abnormal. If anything, my experience made me stay sober.
It's been 293 days since my last drink.
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