11 years tommorrow
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
11 years tommorrow
welp tommorrow will be 11 years for me. 10 years coming here.
I think my sober journey has been like OMFG this is so hard my lifes a mess i gotta clean all this up to my lifes going ok i'm on the right track everythings cruising along im sober and as ok as i can be to AWE no everythings gone wrong again how can this be!!! i cant drink over this ugh life is such a mess.
the earlier years where hard building new habits cleaning up my act figureing out who i am and i'm still figureing out who that is. the middle was decent i was on track life was getting fairly enjoyable to an extent tho i had struggles. The last 4 years however have been a trainwreck if it could go wrong it did and is still going wrong.
But im still sober and didnt drink. I know if i drink it wont make matters any better. I realize if i decide to drink its a conscience decision that i've given up and thrown in the towell and I've never been a quiter. I have had to cut my losses a few times tho decideing to drink again would be more like deciding to take on losses.
These days i'm floating along. I never thought i'd see 10 years when i was 1 day. and now that i'm 11 years i'm like how come this still takes some effort? But life takes effort i guess and making good choices can take effort. I have to get up each day and choose that i want this. Cause the idea of drinking is deceptive from one angle it seems like a good choice but i know its not. It seems like it would be the easy choice but i know its not.
I hope i can enter another prosperous and happy phase tho on my sober journey. I could use some good days.
I think my sober journey has been like OMFG this is so hard my lifes a mess i gotta clean all this up to my lifes going ok i'm on the right track everythings cruising along im sober and as ok as i can be to AWE no everythings gone wrong again how can this be!!! i cant drink over this ugh life is such a mess.
the earlier years where hard building new habits cleaning up my act figureing out who i am and i'm still figureing out who that is. the middle was decent i was on track life was getting fairly enjoyable to an extent tho i had struggles. The last 4 years however have been a trainwreck if it could go wrong it did and is still going wrong.
But im still sober and didnt drink. I know if i drink it wont make matters any better. I realize if i decide to drink its a conscience decision that i've given up and thrown in the towell and I've never been a quiter. I have had to cut my losses a few times tho decideing to drink again would be more like deciding to take on losses.
These days i'm floating along. I never thought i'd see 10 years when i was 1 day. and now that i'm 11 years i'm like how come this still takes some effort? But life takes effort i guess and making good choices can take effort. I have to get up each day and choose that i want this. Cause the idea of drinking is deceptive from one angle it seems like a good choice but i know its not. It seems like it would be the easy choice but i know its not.
I hope i can enter another prosperous and happy phase tho on my sober journey. I could use some good days.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,335
Zjw, sending you hugs, and positive thoughts your way……..
And ENORMOUS congrats on your sober life, and thanks for the honesty. Being sober does not equal easy happy life, and drinking through it only adds misery to the cooking pot.
Thankmyou for your post.
And ENORMOUS congrats on your sober life, and thanks for the honesty. Being sober does not equal easy happy life, and drinking through it only adds misery to the cooking pot.
Thankmyou for your post.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
yeh i do find that the more i go through difficult stuff and not drink that really its just about at the point now where i dont really feel like i'm gonna fly off the handle and go drink.
I do think if i drank again at this point there really is no excuse i know what i'd be getting myself into. That being said could i still slip up and get stupid about it I suppose but i'm not to worried. I also dont want to become complacent either tho so i do tend ot keep my finger on the pulse if you will.
I do think if i drank again at this point there really is no excuse i know what i'd be getting myself into. That being said could i still slip up and get stupid about it I suppose but i'm not to worried. I also dont want to become complacent either tho so i do tend ot keep my finger on the pulse if you will.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i am in an odd spot too when i got sober i hit a point where i had no friends. it oddly didnt bug me too much and quite honestly was probably good it gave me the chance to really focus on me. i was able to make a couple friends and such. Now i have a few aquantences but no one really to talk to again. this time its diff tho its bothering me. I often find myself wanting to tell a friend something or talk to a friend about something and its like oh yeh I dont really have any.
I've started journaling tho. I feel like i'm just talking to myself but it seems to help. Friends or no friends i'll probably keep this habit.
On a side not if anyone wants to PM me lol.
I've started journaling tho. I feel like i'm just talking to myself but it seems to help. Friends or no friends i'll probably keep this habit.
On a side not if anyone wants to PM me lol.
So happy for you.
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