ciowa

I am thankful to have 3 years of sobriety and would not change that for anything. But I want to get something off my chest that might be the norm for some people in recovery. I know we are all different so I know this might not be everyones experience.

I was a binge drinker and when I was not drinking I was almost a stoic unemotional person. I know now I was bottling things up. When I was drinking, having old friends, or an event or some type of get together with others at the bars used to fill me with excitement throughout the day. I would be almost giddy when I walked in and saw my friends and there would be a lot of loud talking, hugging and all that when we first met.

Nowadays, I don't feel the same way when meeting people. Don't get me wrong, im happy to see them and enjoy the get together. But I don't have the same type of anticipation that I used to have. It was like an almost uncontrollable euphoria as the time got closer that only increased as we started drinking.

Now, I know through my classes a couple of things were happening.
1. My body was craving the alcohol substance and that's what a big part of this excitement was about.
2. This type of substance enhancer is not natural so I should not expect to feel the same way as I did because that was an unnatural high.

My life is great. Im in a long term relationship, doubled my salary since I got sober, surrounded by great friends, working out etc. As I said when I was binge drinking, I definitely did not like being around people too much when unless I was drinking and now Im better and more social but don't feel anywhere near the same excitement I used to feel. I just wanted to get that off my chest. thanks.

fishface

Congratulations on 3 years. That's amazing and I'm glad you are keeping to it.

I am not a doctor, and I recommend you bring this up to one. But lack of excitement about things that previously brought pleasure can be a symptom of depression. It could possibly be that due to changes since sobriety, or other life stressors, or hormones, etc. Or it could not be depression at all. But regardless of the reason for the change, something IS causing it and discussing it with your doc would be the best first step in identifying what is going on.

I wish you good luck and again, awesome job on the 3 years.

doggonecarl

It was the same thing with me. So many of the things I did, loved to do, got excited about, no longer held the same attraction when I got sober. Why? I wondered. Eventually I realized it wasn't the situation, or occasion, or event that brought me pleasure and excitement...it was the alcohol. Plain and simple. It was the drinking.

I have found satisfaction and excitement in doing things that don't include alcohol. Hardly any of them are the things I liked to do when I drank.

Dee74

Hi ciowa

I think Carls on the money when he says a huge part of that giddy excitement was addiction and the promise of drinking.
I don't expect to feel that way anymore...Heck I wouldn't want to.

I still do get excited over other stuff tho.

If this is an across the board thing - like you can't get excited about anything - then maybe fishfaces idea about seeing a Doc is a good one?

D

ciowa

Thanks all, I figured it was mostly about the alcohol itch getting scratched. Luckily Im not bored with my life and have plenty of things to do that motivate and interest me.

Im going to do some reflection and introspection about this so that it does not mushroom into something treacherous. I also spoke with my gf and we agreed to make a point of getting out more, seeing friends, socializing for the next few months. I want to make sure I don't slowly slide into isolation and pessimism.

Thanks.

LadyBug66

Ciowa, I am the same way. I have become so unsocial except with my family. I joined a ladies Bible study ... not sure what to expect ... I thought these would be perfect Christian Women.... Nope they are sinners with life problems just like me and we have a Great time at Bible Study. We laugh and I see them struggling with life just like me. I actually get that excitement of going to Bible Study as I did when going out or having friends over for drinks. My husband teases me and says that he's not sure that I'm really going to a Bible Study. LOL I hope you find your group like I did. I'm 4 years sober as well.

LoveHateWhine

Hi Ciowa,

Mr. LHW and I just has this same conversation a few minutes ago! We are going through the same thing. Well, I am, but he’s along for the ride. I am starting to like being isolated.

Definitely something to pay close attention to. If getting out more doesn’t help, do discuss with your doc!

Evoo

What helps me recapture this kind of excitement is to plan events with my buddies where drinking is not the primary focus:

• Fishing trip on Lake Erie
• Big cookouts at my place (I love to cook)
• Kayaking / bocce / games
• Big convention weekend (really into Star Trek)

I'm with you, I definitely feel pretty "meh" about meeting people at a bar these days. So I just don't go to events like that much anymore.

fantail

I'm a few months shy of 3 years. About 6 months ago I decided to start a pretty mild dose of anti-depressants... it was kind of a "why not". I didn't feel depressed in the way that I thought of depression. Previously when depressed I'd been pretty wrecked, hopeless, openly miserable, and I mostly felt OK. I just felt tired and sort of lazy and unenthusiastic, and I felt like at 2.5 years sober this was my stabilized brain now so maybe I should revisit my old depression diagnosis.

It made a really big difference. I'm on a super low dose, so I was actually shocked — I didn't expect to feel so much better. Since I've been on it I've noticed the little bits of joy are more frequent, like noticing something pretty and feeling really satisfied to have seen it. That was the kind of thing I'd sort of lost since quitting drinking. When I'd drink I'd get these big, resounding, almost spiritual moments of finding the world so beautiful and meaningful. Now I get those moments a little more quietly, but it's clearly the same feeling and it makes me feel more like myself again.

I should also note that as the antidepressants kicked in and I felt less tired, I started spending a lot of time hiking outdoors, so now I'm in a chicken-egg situation where I can't say for sure whether it's the meds or the exercise, so I'm just sticking with both.

So that's just one person's experience, but I do feel hope for you that with time and maybe some tweaks to your lifestyle you'll find a version of that excitement again. It may have been heightened by the alcohol, but it was still genuine to you and what makes you find meaning. The seed at the heart of it is still there somewhere.