Today makes 6 years.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Today makes 6 years.
I never thought I'd make it this far. I spent a week in ICU, I've lost both my parents and almost a dozen friends in the last 6 years. 3 to suicide. I had to have kidney surgery and was also diagnosed with liver disease and esophageal varacies.
If you would have handed me a piece of paper with those first 2 sentences written on it the day I woke up, I would have gone to the bar and finished the job.
Instead I got to work. There were a lot of hard days but I love my life and if I live the right way, my dr says I could live a normal life span. I've also dropped almost 80 pounds. I've gotten rid of my type 2 diabetes and in June, I may be off all medication.
Soooo.......I am a certified bada$$.
HAHAHAHA
I feel strong. Thanks to all the people who have taken the time to help me a long the way. I know I don't come by as much as I used to, but whenever my rear is on fire, a few of you always know how to put it out. I love this place and the people here.
Thank you for my life.
-Jeff
If you would have handed me a piece of paper with those first 2 sentences written on it the day I woke up, I would have gone to the bar and finished the job.
Instead I got to work. There were a lot of hard days but I love my life and if I live the right way, my dr says I could live a normal life span. I've also dropped almost 80 pounds. I've gotten rid of my type 2 diabetes and in June, I may be off all medication.
Soooo.......I am a certified bada$$.
HAHAHAHAI feel strong. Thanks to all the people who have taken the time to help me a long the way. I know I don't come by as much as I used to, but whenever my rear is on fire, a few of you always know how to put it out. I love this place and the people here.
Thank you for my life.
-Jeff
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
You are amazing, BullDog.
Congratulations to you and those who love you.
And thank you so much for being here - you've no idea how many lives you've truly touched, but mine is one.
xo
O
Congratulations to you and those who love you.
And thank you so much for being here - you've no idea how many lives you've truly touched, but mine is one.
xo
O
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Bulldog, every time I see your name I instantly hear that wonderful Beatles song Bulldog.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4vbJQ-MrKo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4vbJQ-MrKo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
congrats bulldog!!! it sounds like you've had to face some fun obstacles on your sober journey whats your 2 cents to others that face obstacles. I ask casuse for me i got sober and life was slowly getting better but now i've faced obstacles and lifes taken a dive.
for me I havent picked back up despite feeling as if maybe i have good reason because of bad stuff that happened because at the end of the day I think as bad as this is I cant go back to that nonsense sigh so I just keep going forward.
for me I havent picked back up despite feeling as if maybe i have good reason because of bad stuff that happened because at the end of the day I think as bad as this is I cant go back to that nonsense sigh so I just keep going forward.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by zjw 
congrats bulldog!!! it sounds like you've had to face some fun obstacles on your sober journey whats your 2 cents to others that face obstacles. I ask casuse for me i got sober and life was slowly getting better but now i've faced obstacles and lifes taken a dive.
for me I havent picked back up despite feeling as if maybe i have good reason because of bad stuff that happened because at the end of the day I think as bad as this is I cant go back to that nonsense sigh so I just keep going forward.
for me I havent picked back up despite feeling as if maybe i have good reason because of bad stuff that happened because at the end of the day I think as bad as this is I cant go back to that nonsense sigh so I just keep going forward.
Hey Zjw, sorry it took a few days to write back, i'm not here as much as I used to be but i'm going to try to stop by every night.
Honestly, the answer for me is very simple. I can't . I do have good reason to pick back up. Hell, I've lost both parents and like a dozen friends and have found out about some concerning health stuff I have to keep a close eye on. To me- that was enough. Losing my mom was enough. But...It never changes the truth. I can't.
No matter how much I want to-which I really don't-I don't miss it at all-I just can't do it because it means I'll die. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you all that I don't have another recovery in me. That I won't survive another relapse. I won't. There's no nobility or inspiration about my fight to stay sober. It's purely a matter of survival.
Maybe that makes it easier for me because I know I can't ever go back. Most of you people can-and I was no different. It was also why I could never stay sober. I always -in the back of my mind, had a "F it switch in case I got the reason. My reason to self destruct and go all crazy train.
So as cheesy as this sounds, I had to have a reason or 2 or 5 that made me love something more than myself. That's my family. I refuse to ever put them through the pain I had once before. Here again-It's purely a matter of survival. I hope that helps you in some way. Hang in there. One of the few truths about life is it's forever changing-so it can always get better.
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