IMHomerSimpson

I am here today to say I am OK.I am back in my home.Not drinking,which is a good thing.I did read my last post and feel great by your replies.I am trying? to surrender to alcoholism.When.? I dont know...,but I have a problem,I do know.I missed you guys,whther you are telling me what an ass Ive been or cheering me on,Ive been lost without having been able to come here,which kinda scares me.Am I addicted to you,too? I am working on making this right again here,at home.BTW,disorderly conduct reduced from aggrevated assault(to my neighbor).Ignore this,:"I love ya guys".

Paulie

Admitting the problem is a great start, just for today, don't drink, worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

NoMoBeer

I missed a couple of days, apparently you had some pretty heavy posts on here that were deleted.

Glad you are sober now, and you are a friend in my book, we've been through this roller coaster over a year now, same drug of choice (beer), same disease -- so when the f@ck do you think it's time to surrender? I hate to sound so blunt, but what's it going to take? Sorry, just pissed me off that in your post you say you don't know when you are going to surrender.... how about right f@cking now!?

Make the decision. As my sponsor told me last time out -- you don't have to live another day like that again. Think about it.
You know I'm always here to listen whether email or on here, but you've got to make the choice -- and do the work to stay sober, it doesn't happen by itself.

I'm with you, bro --either way.

Ken

NoMoBeer

To be doomed to an alcoholic death or
to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives
to face.

IMHomerSimpson

Damnnnn.........Kenny? WTF.. Out of character seems the only decription.I am booted from my f-ing house after smearing dogshit on my neigbors car windshield after I stepped in the lil fockers crap in MY driveway for the last time.I struggle to get back here and my "buddy" is f-ing me????? Cool,dude,I only hope you aint drinking as you post tonite,you are a great help here.I am not.I,only use this place as a journal,NOT.whats up? ken?

Chy

Nah he's not messing with you Homer, just like all of us we have to find the courage to say enough is enough and I'm sure he was nudging you toward when is it going to be enough for you? I know it's damn hard, we suffer the ramifications of our actions sure, but those don't even seem to do the trick for us huh? So it's on you as it has always been. You had a couple of good weeks there, time to buck up and get re-focused into that train of thought. Your going to be okay, I know your going to eventually get it, I really do! I'm glad your back and most grateful your sober if just for today! We love ya man!

NoMoBeer

not f@cking with you, bud -- I am trying to give you a kick in the a$$, though. It's that time -- you either want to be sober or don't. Live or die. Do the deal, or keep drinking.

Like I said, buddy -- I'm happy as anyone (probably more so) that you are back here and not drinking tonight. I just get frustrated seeing you hurt yourself everytime you choose to drink.

Dog$hit, huh? Heh, heh -- probably something I would have done in a drunken rage too.

Once again, my friend -- you don't have to live like that anymore if you choose not to. But you gotta make the choice.

I'm right here with you...

Ken

IMHomerSimpson

Hey,Im on on the defense in every aspect of my life right now.Do not get pissed at me,no matter what.You know how I am feeling.And yes,dog $hit or a slap,I opted with the dog$hit,but I was a nice criminal and the officer and I laughed it off on the way to the holding cell.But the bad part,I was arrested and my wife gently asked me to leave(maybe not gently).I have reconciled with her.

Dunitall

Homer Man

How many reconciliations with yourself or your wife does it really take?

You've been here before. Is this bottom?

You know you can do this, but you really have to want to. I'm not trying to teach a chicken how to suck eggs. Just get back in the game H. We are all routing for you.

Rich

Doug

Everybody's entitled to thier feelings Homer, same as you. Lots of us have been where you are, we know how it feels, and still sucks watching other people go through it. The only difference right now, is many folks made the decision and worked through it, and luckily you have that same opportunity right here, right now.

Welcome back, alot of folks don't get back.

Cathy31

Homer

Welcome back, I am glad you are back. But I am intrigued.

What's different this time?I'm not encouraged by what I hear, and neither should you be. Giving up...sometime? Same blase attitude, I can do it on my own, don't get angry with me, etc.

Please help me understand what it is going to take for you to decide enough is enough...you've done jail, so that leaves death and institutionalisation.

Which is it to be?

IMHomerSimpson

Im in a different state of mind today,so far.All of you are so right.I think I need more than a kick in the ass though.I am trying to surrender to alcohol.I am an alcoholic,no new news there.How many times do I have to keep trying AA,it just is not helping me,I even tried again for a couple of meetings,still nothing for me.I am not drinking but the way I feel is not sober.When I feel sober I am happy,enjoy almost everything.Im gonna try one day at a time approach again,its when I look beyond today I mess my thinking up.Its not to late to get my holiday spirit back up.

ted

HOMER,GLAD YOUR BACK MAN.
DOG SH!T
IT HAS TAKEN A WHOLE LOT OF SH!T TO GET ME TO 3 MONTHS SOBER.
AT TIMES IT IS HARD AS EVER,
BUT I LOOK AT THE DOGSH!T THAT'S WAITING FOR ME OUT THERE IF I DRINK.
..................ted

BubbaBob

I have a friend who is a lot like you...keeps saying he wants to quit, tries a bit, hits a meeting or three, manages a week or so of sobriety, sometimes a little longer...then it right back where he was.

I asked him a couple of weeks ago if he wanted to quit for good, and his immediate answer was, "Yes." I told him not to answer so fast, and asked if he REALLY wanted to quit. After about 30 seconds of thought he said, "Not really...I just want it (the drinking) to quit f*cking up my life."

So, Homer, the question is not do you want to quit, it is do you REALLY want to quit?

If the answer is yes, then, with the help and support of fellow AA's, with the 12 steps of AA, and, most importantly with the help of God, you can, and will.

But if you just sorta want to quit...if you just want it to quit f*cking with your life, you won't. That simple dude. Quitting ain't easy, but it is JUST THAT SIMPLE.

So, what is it? You want to quit, or do you REALLY want to quit?

Ball's in your court.

BubbaBob

NoMoBeer

Starting to see some hope in your posts.

As for AA -- a "couple" of meetings are not going to make you sober. Sobriety is an ongoing, minute by minute, hour by hour, daily thing. Just being physically sober is pretty easy -- don't ingest any alcohol. It's the mental, emotional and spiritual sobriety which are challenges. Some days all I can do is cling on to not having a beer. That's it, I'm in a dry drunk and I don't like it, but it is what it is. Same crappy thinking as before, but no beer. As one guy in my meeting says: " a dry drunk is just another sh!tty day." You'll get there, bro --sobriety does not happen overnight. Typically if it does, and you are on the "pink cloud" (could be where you were last month), when something goes wrong the first place you turn is a drink.

AA has a simple set of tools, called the 12 steps. They look great on the wall and in a book, but we have to work them to achieve sobriety across the board. Keep going to meetings, find one you like, and keep going. Then find a guy who you think you can relate to , or said something that clicked with you. Ask him to sponsor you and help you through the steps. Then get to work.

And for the one day at a time thing -- ABSOLUTELY!!! Hey, man -- when my thinking goes past today, I am f@cked! The sh!tty comittee up there starts yapping and forget about it! Try as hard as you can to truly stay in today, contrary to what another post said -- don't worry about "quitting" drinking -- that can play games with your head -- just don't drink today.

Hope that helped, buddy -- I'm pulling and praying for you -- email me when you get a chance.


Ken

Chy

Consider yourself properly kicked in the ass...hard! *LOL*.. AA takes faking it till you make sometimes for many months. Just heard a member share who came in the rooms fighting and kicking because they had to. Couldn't wait for his time to be up, but ya know what, it kicked in, he faked it just long enough to take hold and now he's coming up on 6 months and hitting meetings every week. That can be you to P-, and don't forget there are other options if AA is just not for you. Keep on my friend, keep on!

SpiritPath

I'm glad you're back.
Lately I've been thinking about how enormously selfish I was when I was drinking. I always had an excuse and the entire world was about me. I think a major point in AA is to be reminded of where we've been and warned about where we can go if we don't stop drinking. If being around AA is not helping you right now, maybe there is another way to shift your thinking. What's working for me right now is the desire to live a good life, and leave a good life behind. Unfortunately, for me, and for my family, I am experiencing the health problems related to alcoholism and I am facing how alchohol can destroy the body. It's different for all of us. I hope you get kicked soon.
Stephanie