JaseUK

Isn't waiting for something just the worst? Like being in the doctors waiting room or the dentist and hearing the drill being used with glee in the background?!

Atm I waiting to go to my parents and oc stressing over it. Instead of just doing stuff I lie here worrying with my AV telling me to have a drink to relax. For me the 2 main triggers of my drinking were stress and boredom and I have both rn. So my habit at times like this would be to drink. And of course a few times I drank so much I fell asleep and then would have to make some excuse for missing things (my car broke down, I'm ill etc).

Boondock

Have some juice and a snack

biminiblue

Surely something needs to be straightened or cleaned, Jase.

Boredom is one of those things best treated by - uh - doing something.


Same with stress, actually. Distract, change the (metaphorical) channel, stay busy.

ScottFromWI

The best medicine for waiting is to have a plan to do something else. That can be in the context of sobriety, or even just life in general. If you know you are going to have spare time in advance, fill it up with something. Take a free online class, read a book, take a walk, plant some flowers, the list is almost endless.

In very early sobriety, I literally planned out every day in my calendar hour by hour. I am somewhat fanatical about my work calendar in that sense, but I applied that to my entire day. Idle time leads to many of the things you mention ( av, etc ) so don't allow it to happen in the first place.

dustyfox

Yes, have a snack, cup of tea/coffee - clean something - anything to keep you busy. Just wondering how long are you at your parents for - is it something you look forward to or dread? Just thinking ahead in case the AV says you deserve a drink afterwards - that was always a classic for me - rewarding myself for doing something I didn't enjoy with a large glass or several.... What have you got planned for the rest of the week - have something to look forward to - thinking past the moment to something in the near future is helpful.

JaseUK

Just for tonight Foxy (!). Well I look forward to seeing my mum and sis but my dad... Not so much.

Funny you mentioned the reward thing though because I used to stop off at an off licence on the way home after being here as a reward to myself. But I've been here a couple of times since becoming sober and I just drive by .

AL48

I go for a walk regardless of weather or time of year. It gives me somthing else to think of and seems to help me deal with the stress.

Dee74

do you absolutely need to make the visit now Jase?
Just thinking that if its winding you up this much before you even get there it might be better to leave it for a future date.

D

Hevyn

Hope it goes better than expected, Jase. Let us know.

Steely

You can do it Jase, you're sober now. Nothing can beat it.

JaseUK

Hey Guys
Sorry about the late reply.

Well I did go and didn't drink and it wasn't as bad as I feared which I think is often the case.

I actually feel stronger being sober. Previously I thought drink gave me courage; which it did, but it was 'artificial courage' and oc I knew it. Now I find I'm stronger than I believed and have some real courage.

Patcha

Sound all round life advice, really.

Patcha

I used to fortify myself with booze when I had to visit my parents. I'm actually now living with my 87yo mother because she can't live alone, and I am doing it sober. Who knew! I have to be really honest with myself and clean up my side of the street. It's not easy confronting myself with my own flaws (for eg when she gave me a hard time I dealt with it by sending my brother a bunch of dramatic text messages so he knew what a saint I was for putting up with her, and turn mountains into molehills in a self-righteous snit so I could make sure she knew just how wrong she was and how right I am, but now I can just let her needles slide by and not react in my old way).