Self talk
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Self talk
The moment I listened in on my self-talk is when the denial broke and I realized I was in big trouble. That's when I put the booze down. I had to monitor it in early recovery pretty closely and it saved my life I am sure. I caught it saying terrible things about me and I confronted it and defeated it. When I was drinking it always just ran in the background and I thought I had to do whatever it said. Now though, it's like it never shuts up. Has anyone else experienced this? I've tried meditation but that only makes it louder.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
It was sort of like song ear worms. Just had to learn to relax and unresist until they pass.
I find positive mindful verbal or mental “restatements” helpful when negative self-talk happens.
My most common one: “I feel dead / empty inside” I restate as “ I am a vessel for Spirit”.
I say this right away, even interrupting the negative statement if I am paying attention. It helps a lot, including giving me some Agency in reclaiming my mental real estate.
Like everything else, make plan, write some short, powerful responses out on a note card, and keep it handy till memorized. Say the positive response, and then relax even if the old tape keeps playing. It should get quieter and less frequent as sober time grows
I find positive mindful verbal or mental “restatements” helpful when negative self-talk happens.
My most common one: “I feel dead / empty inside” I restate as “ I am a vessel for Spirit”.
I say this right away, even interrupting the negative statement if I am paying attention. It helps a lot, including giving me some Agency in reclaiming my mental real estate.
Like everything else, make plan, write some short, powerful responses out on a note card, and keep it handy till memorized. Say the positive response, and then relax even if the old tape keeps playing. It should get quieter and less frequent as sober time grows
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Oh, yeah, and I do sort of like Hawk said.
Can't let them gain a foothold. Ten long, slow breaths. Focusing on my toes or my nose or my eyes or whatever. The colors in the room, whatever it takes to get back in my body and out of my head.
Once I let a thought grab on, I'm toast. I have to just let them flow through me and keep it moving. Not grab one and mull it over.
Meditation does help. So does mindful nutrition and exercise.
Can't let them gain a foothold. Ten long, slow breaths. Focusing on my toes or my nose or my eyes or whatever. The colors in the room, whatever it takes to get back in my body and out of my head.
Once I let a thought grab on, I'm toast. I have to just let them flow through me and keep it moving. Not grab one and mull it over.
Meditation does help. So does mindful nutrition and exercise.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
My brain says all kinds of things. ALL THE TIME!
It really gets going when I am suffering from an anxiety episode.
"I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are not reality. This thought will pass."
About one month or more ago, my brain decided to play out scenarios of trauma that happened. My brain was really in a bad place. It was horrendous and real intense for about a week. I talked about it, even though it was hard, and the thoughts finally dissipated. In that week though.....I cried. I panicked. I was stuck.
Just relating to your experience.
It really gets going when I am suffering from an anxiety episode.
"I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are not reality. This thought will pass."
About one month or more ago, my brain decided to play out scenarios of trauma that happened. My brain was really in a bad place. It was horrendous and real intense for about a week. I talked about it, even though it was hard, and the thoughts finally dissipated. In that week though.....I cried. I panicked. I was stuck.
Just relating to your experience.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Oh, yeah, and I do sort of like Hawk said.
Can't let them gain a foothold. Ten long, slow breaths. Focusing on my toes or my nose or my eyes or whatever. The colors in the room, whatever it takes to get back in my body and out of my head.
Once I let a thought grab on, I'm toast. I have to just let them flow through me and keep it moving. Not grab one and mull it over.
Meditation does help. So does mindful nutrition and exercise.
Can't let them gain a foothold. Ten long, slow breaths. Focusing on my toes or my nose or my eyes or whatever. The colors in the room, whatever it takes to get back in my body and out of my head.
Once I let a thought grab on, I'm toast. I have to just let them flow through me and keep it moving. Not grab one and mull it over.
Meditation does help. So does mindful nutrition and exercise.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by Mizz
My brain says all kinds of things. ALL THE TIME!
It really gets going when I am suffering from an anxiety episode.
"I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are not reality. This thought will pass."
About one month or more ago, my brain decided to play out scenarios of trauma that happened. My brain was really in a bad place. It was horrendous and real intense for about a week. I talked about it, even though it was hard, and the thoughts finally dissipated. In that week though.....I cried. I panicked. I was stuck.
Just relating to your experience.
It really gets going when I am suffering from an anxiety episode.
"I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are not reality. This thought will pass."
About one month or more ago, my brain decided to play out scenarios of trauma that happened. My brain was really in a bad place. It was horrendous and real intense for about a week. I talked about it, even though it was hard, and the thoughts finally dissipated. In that week though.....I cried. I panicked. I was stuck.
Just relating to your experience.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by nez
As my actions became better, so did the self talk. It took time, but with the change brought about by continued better actions on my part, my self talk was left with no choice but to change as well.
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
It was sort of like song ear worms. Just had to learn to relax and unresist until they pass.
I find positive mindful verbal or mental “restatements” helpful when negative self-talk happens.
My most common one: “I feel dead / empty inside” I restate as “ I am a vessel for Spirit”.
I say this right away, even interrupting the negative statement if I am paying attention. It helps a lot, including giving me some Agency in reclaiming my mental real estate.
Like everything else, make plan, write some short, powerful responses out on a note card, and keep it handy till memorized. Say the positive response, and then relax even if the old tape keeps playing. It should get quieter and less frequent as sober time grows
I find positive mindful verbal or mental “restatements” helpful when negative self-talk happens.
My most common one: “I feel dead / empty inside” I restate as “ I am a vessel for Spirit”.
I say this right away, even interrupting the negative statement if I am paying attention. It helps a lot, including giving me some Agency in reclaiming my mental real estate.
Like everything else, make plan, write some short, powerful responses out on a note card, and keep it handy till memorized. Say the positive response, and then relax even if the old tape keeps playing. It should get quieter and less frequent as sober time grows
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by silentrun
That sounds like the grounding exercises I read about. That's a good idea. I never understood what people meant by their brain never shuts off. I used to just ignore it so it didn't seem that bad.
Well, anxiety causes the spinning/holding on thing, and I think all of us are under tremendous ongoing stress right now.
Have you read the (Emotional Memory Management)Emotional Memory Management thread in the Anxiety sticky posts?
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I will also add that it's kind of a tough read. He also wrote one called A New Earth that was easier for me and broader in scope.
Another really good one is Silence, by Thich Nhat Hanh. Maybe best of all.
Another really good one is Silence, by Thich Nhat Hanh. Maybe best of all.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by advbike
I will also add that it's kind of a tough read. He also wrote one called A New Earth that was easier for me and broader in scope.
Another really good one is Silence, by Thich Nhat Hanh. Maybe best of all.
Another really good one is Silence, by Thich Nhat Hanh. Maybe best of all.
I tend to forget about all of this. Then I remember. Then I forget.......
Then someone comes along to help me to remember.....
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by silentrun
I can get in these loops where I'm like a dog with a bone. It's not even anything I care about anymore. You helped me find the exit last time that happened.
So, there is a GAD worksheet that was started in the mental health section. Not saying you have GAD but the worksheet can help anyone.
I found the exercise beneficial. It is there for me and everyone when the looping/ anxiety/ negative self talk/ rabbit hole starts going.
Just another tool to add to the tool belt for my life. Im so glad you are talking about all of this, BTW!
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by silentrun
If I'm being honest I know when I'm doing it but for some reason, I take some pleasure in it. Not joy or happiness but some demented form of pleasure. Maybe I need to take a look at what that demented pleasure is a cover-up for and go at it that way.
I've also found that letting those thoughts sort of wash over me from a place of neutrality is tremendously helpful. The thoughts are neither good nor bad; there is no need to accept or fight them. They just are.
Those two positions might seem contradictory, but it's just another beautiful paradox I've realized. The thoughts have no control, but being curious about where they came from is what releases me from needing to control the thoughts. And they are dissipating now...
O
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I can get in these loops where I'm like a dog with a bone
For the breathing, inhale for 4 seconds, hold your lungs full for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds. Repeat.
The mantra I use is a quote by Shunryu Suzuki “Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.”
Leave your front door and your back door open (while inhaling)
Allow your thoughts to come and go (while holding lungs full)
Just don't serve them tea (while exhaling)
.... (while holding lungs empty)
repeat cycle
Nothing new appears unless something old ceases.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by nez
I get out of these loops with a combination between box breathing (AKA: Navy Seal tactical breathing) and a mantra.
For the breathing, inhale for 4 seconds, hold your lungs full for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds. Repeat.
The mantra I use is a quote by Shunryu Suzuki “Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.”
Leave your front door and your back door open (while inhaling)
Allow your thoughts to come and go (while holding lungs full)
Just don't serve them tea (while exhaling)
.... (while holding lungs empty)
repeat cycle
Nothing new appears unless something old ceases.
For the breathing, inhale for 4 seconds, hold your lungs full for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds. Repeat.
The mantra I use is a quote by Shunryu Suzuki “Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.”
Leave your front door and your back door open (while inhaling)
Allow your thoughts to come and go (while holding lungs full)
Just don't serve them tea (while exhaling)
.... (while holding lungs empty)
repeat cycle
Nothing new appears unless something old ceases.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
This is very familiar to me and my GAD/anxiety. I used to get stuck in loops with my health anxiety too.
Not really a technique but one of my favorite concepts that was shared with me is the "River of Thoughts" analogy. I've probably shared it a couple dozen times but here we go again ;-) Basically, think of yourself sitting on the bank of a river. The water is the thoughts inside your head - sometimes it's calm and flowing slowly, sometimes raging rapids - but no matter what it is always flowing. You have the choice of how you'd like to engage the water - you can just sit on the bank and watch it go by, dip your toes in, or dive in head first. And if you dive in head first when it's a raging rapids, it's extremely difficult to get back out. You can interact with your thoughts the same way - just acknowledge that they are there and let them go by, because they will always be there. Or you can choose to engage them...but be ready with a rope or a life jacket to keep you afloat. Your self-awareness is the life jacket of course - and the more you practice it the more buoyant it becomes.
Not really a technique but one of my favorite concepts that was shared with me is the "River of Thoughts" analogy. I've probably shared it a couple dozen times but here we go again ;-) Basically, think of yourself sitting on the bank of a river. The water is the thoughts inside your head - sometimes it's calm and flowing slowly, sometimes raging rapids - but no matter what it is always flowing. You have the choice of how you'd like to engage the water - you can just sit on the bank and watch it go by, dip your toes in, or dive in head first. And if you dive in head first when it's a raging rapids, it's extremely difficult to get back out. You can interact with your thoughts the same way - just acknowledge that they are there and let them go by, because they will always be there. Or you can choose to engage them...but be ready with a rope or a life jacket to keep you afloat. Your self-awareness is the life jacket of course - and the more you practice it the more buoyant it becomes.
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