Meatball2

ugh... So I made a personal decision, to go illegal. Not to be political, but I have decided, for myself, and only myself, that I no longer recognize my state Govt's ability to lead. And went back to work (illegally) and havent looked back...

well I am on the cusp of a MAJOR financial decision for myself... one that will cost me damn near $10,000 out of pocket...

not fines or any govt crap - yet lol

So tonight... after 5 months alcohol sober (I smoke pot to help me sleep... after 12 years of alcohol and sleeping pills) i had 2 shots... what the F was I thinking? ugh... I just recently stopped puking... now I am hungry... after puking up dinner... ugh... Im not even buzzed i just feel like ****.

I poured out the 750 i bought 6 months ago... no thank you.

Meatball2

I will say that stopping was hard. But I have made more money in the last 3 months than I have in the last 2 years.

Plus what the absolute crap? when I drink i dont care and no interest. house was a disaster... now? If I didnt know better id say a clean freak lived here. Plus, I have done more to my house in the last 3 months than I have the last 4 years drunk... with lots of big plans ahead...

Drinking... I never should have started...I coulda had a yatcht by now =/

ZIP

Don't be too hard on yourself. Stuff happens, especially in our spankin' new pandemic world!
Excellent prompt choice to dump the bottle.
It helps me to keep a dry house.
Don't store any, don't bring any home...ever.
Keep that 5 month run going.

Delilah1

I’m glad you came back right away Meatball!

MaximusD

Great job stopping meatball. That time is not lost whether you start the count over or not. You still achieved a lot and healed your body.

timi0000

Meatball congratulations on getting to 5 months. That is an accomplishment! Let me share with you what worked for me in helping to drop my addiction so that maybe you can go even longer without turning to alcohol. Turning my life over to my Higher Power was the first thing I did that gave me the power to quit my addiction. I would say "God come into my life; I give my life to thee; I need you in my life, God". I don't attempt to explain how this helped me, it just did.

Taking the actions of love toward other people really helped me too. Start treating the people around you with more love. Do more loving things for them. Start helping people. When I did this, the addiction just melted away over time.

I cannot recommend enough that you get into an AA group and attend meetings regularly. They say that no one can experience addiction recovery alone.

D122y

The booze, pills, pot, etc. are are chemicals that alter my ability to heal.

Taking anything into my body arguably resets my healing....and at best drags it out.

I wasn't born addicted to booze etc.

In my 5 plus years clean I have gone through hell. I am still seeing healing and still crave.

The non drinking/using lifestyle is a choice. I am so very very very proud to be a non drinker.

The difference between me and a person that never used is that I am inclined to relate and try to help those that want to quit.

Folk that never drink at best are only tolerant of drinkers but have absolutely no interest or ability to offer insight to how to be a non user.

Education, suffering, and time are my go to buzz words for staying clean. I had to be a big boy and pull it together.

Today I feel amazing for so many reasons.

Thanks for the therapy.

silentrun

Learn from it and make it a one-off. About 3 months in I tried to stop smoking and got in the "red zone" and said f it I'm drinking. I managed to get 3 shots in me and my stomach blew out. Like you, I dumped the rest. I realized I needed to catch myself earlier in the process before I got to that red zone. My plan, which worked for me, was to always come here and confess any thoughts of using. As soon as I would it released all the pressure to use.

Zebra1275

I'm glad you poured out the rest of the bottle. Use this event as a learning experience and just don't drink again.

Anna

I'm glad that you stopped drinking and are ready to move on.

Delilah1

How are you doing Meatball?

Meatball2

I fell off... ugh...

a great customer of mine gave my a 750...

I nibbled... tonight... 7 shots I just puked it all up... I swear I am developing an allergic reaction to alcohol (not a bad thing)

normally i am looking at 20+ shots before i even think about puking...

I do like the clear headedness in the am though.. I really like that...

Dee74

Dump the rest man - doesn't sound like it's doing you any favours at all.

D

CFDuane

Yep after four weeks fell off the wagon. The ex-wife put up with my abuse and neglect for 3 years hoping I would snap out of my disease but I didn't and she left. That did it I woke up with a sledge hammer to the side of my head after 17 years with her I no longer have her. I still am struggling with that loss and not drinking. I have to make this disease a thing of the past and look for brighter days I know people have ultimately done it so I know it is possible. I miss my wife and the years we spent I so I am here to do better!

OffCourse

It really isn't easy, is it? Let me just say you should definitely be proud of those 5 months, that's an amazing win. I don't have any experience in sobriety, I'm struggling as well, so I cant give you any insight, but know you are not alone. We just have to keep trying and one day it will stick. I get very down on myself when I stumble, it's so much easier said than done, but try to stay positive. The sun will rise tomorrow and it'll be a new day to try again.