I haven’t posted in a long time, but I am lurking many days of the week.

i have battled alcoholism (though I didn’t accept it) for many years. Due to support, I was able to sustain brief period of sobriety punctuated by truly advanced alcoholism. About seven years ago, I unexpectedly relocated to my hometown. I had divorced, taken a leave from my graduate program, and came home to get well. It lasted a while! Then I met my future husband. He happened to be bartending (shocking, not shocking) and we hit it off immediately. Our first few dates seemed normal. I controlled my drinking (so I thought) and he appeared to drink normally. About a month into the relationship I spent the night and I noticed a handle of vodka in the pantry with a shot glass out. That’s when I knew- my new flame was alcoholic too. It didn’t take long for us to dive deeper into the abyss, explosive fights and all. Nevertheless, it was good to have a true “drinking buddy.” Some months later, we started trying for a baby and planning marriage. I was still in a lot of denial and so was he. We got pregnant, got married , and by a grace I can’t explain, I stopped during the pregnancy. His drinking escalated, but I believed we were keeping it together. Fast forward... after baby , I slowly returned to my old habits until DH and I tried to quit and he suffered jaundice and an alcohol withdrawal seizure. We both medically detoxed while my parents watched our baby girl. We were sober for about three or four months. Then,ever so predictably, the beast came back. The fights, the lost jobs, the inability to care for our baby. Shortly thereafter l, I endured the unfathomable loss of my father. It was a terrible time and drinking was my relief. We could have gone on like this until we both lost additional jobs, probably divorced, neglected our child, and ended up either dead or with other irreversible problems... BUT

when it got to rock bottom, my husband, in his stupor determined to go to a true in patient program. He is a little older and he knew the end was coming. I worked with a private counselor and physician while he was gone. That one decision changed our lives.

proud to say, neither of us has had a drink in two years (2/28 for him, 3/8 for me). Our child was only two when these events unfolded, so I am proud to say she has never seen drunk parents. The fights have ended (well, we have normal fights now. Rational, regular married people ones) our daughter is thriving, my husband secured excellent permenant employment in the civil service AND went back to college.

there have been ups and downs, but we are very honest with each other, talk regularly about our feeling related to recovery, and are strong in our commitment. Life has truly never been better. Our family is strong and healthy. Our dreams are coming true. And even on our worst days, we know we have our child the gift of sober, loving parents.

to those who may be in a relationship with another alcoholic, do not despair. Love, a shared commitment, honesty, and mutual support is possible, it both parties are fully committed from the bottom of their Hearts.

I realize this isn’t everyone’s story, but it is possible to heal together! It’s possible that anything could happen, but the strength we give to each other (and pull from outside resources) constantly reminds us of the horrors of active alcoholism, and we remain steadfast in our sobriety.

thank you, my friends, for listening to our story, and for the words on wisdom and encouragement you share everyday.