Notch8

Like, did you tell the whole world you were in recovery? Did they already know? Did you keep quiet about it? Perhaps they didn't even know you had a problem to begin with? Maybe close friends and family only knew?

How'd it go for you?

DaisyBelle7

The first couple of times I tried to quit, I told everyone. I even posted it on Facebook. The few times after that, I kept it to myself because I figured people would be like, “ yeah, riiiiight.” This time, I told my husband & kids about 1 week into my sobriety and my parents a little while after that. I’ve only told a few close friends. That was around the one month mark. I don’t plan on telling anyone else until it’s been 1 year - one of my HS classmates posts every year on his soberversary and he inspired me, so that’s why I’d like to share with others.

How about you?

fini

i told based on what i considered the “need to know”basis. very few really need to know. nobody really knew i had a problem, so that was a bit convoluted to tell folks i had quit.
eventually, i became more open with more people. after my confidence increased and my shame and self-consciousness abated.

courage2

I kept it very quiet. I didn't tell even my husband that I'd quit for a couple of weeks -- I don't think he truly realized that I couldn't just "go without" for a few days, partly because I'd been lying and hiding the extent of my problem.

Even after 6 years, the only people with whom I'd feel comfortable discussing my "recovery" are one of my sisters, and people on SR or in the rooms of AA. I can talk with a very few others about it, but prefer not to.

Hevyn

Hi Notch. Unfortunately, my life was in turmoil & everyone was aware of it. I had been drinking many years & was totally dependent on it. I was taking it to work - I was never without it in my system. Since family, friends, & co-workers were all aware of my situation, it was actually a relief for me to talk about my plans to quit. However, I would have preferred to keep it private. Thanks to my reckless behavior, it wasn't possible.

Dee74

I was very open and vocal cos I was a very public open and vocal drunk.
I also wanted to make sure I couldn't find any boltholes (places to drink secretly)

If I had my time again tho, I wouldn't do what I did. I worried a lot of people who had very little idea just how bad my drinking was.

I also realise, looking back, that in making a big deal about quitting and the boltholes, I was actually looking (at least in part) for my mates to be responsible for my sobriety.

It didn't ,and doesn't work, that way.
D

Purpleman

In deciding who, if anyone, to tell, it was hard at the beginning, because I had no idea if I would be able to stick at it. I mean, I was fairly confident that this was "it", but over the years I'd had periods of being alcohol free, but I'd always gone back. Told my family (who I'd separated from, so I doubt they actually believed me at the time), my boss at work, a couple of friends. I didn't really make a big deal of it &, to be honest, I still don't.

Notch8

Lots of interesting replies. I agree with a few that being open about it at the beginning never ends well. I'm keeping things pretty low profile. I'm that way about my bipolar. Its only been the past few months that extended family is learning about the struggles. It just works better that way, IMO.

BackandScared

I have told my husband and my kids. However, nobody knew how bad it was. Not even close. Kids (teenagers) only know I do not drink. I think they suspect I was struggling. But only in hindsight. They do not ask questions.
My husband has been supportive to a point. He was not aware of my secret drinking and he is thus not touched by my non-drinking beyond not sharing a bottle over a nice dinner every now and then. He keeps drinking when he wants to and there is plenty of alcohol at home.

My mother has noticed because we have spent time together. Others, close to me, have also noticed over time. I have, when required, explained I feel much better not drinking; it was really making me feel horrible.

Mostly, this question is only important at the start of your journey. Because, ultimately, this is a question only relevant to alcoholics. The vast majority of the population is as interested about you drinking alcohol or not drinking alcohol as they are about you consuming dairy products or not. Some (few) idiots may even question why you don't drink milk, but they don't really care either way.

It is your journey. You must assess why you are telling others. My big problem was the secrecy. I did not stop drinking until I confided to someone. I needed to stop the secret and start a new way of doing things. Continuing alone and in secret was always a failure.

Hopefully, you will find the formula that helps you.

aasharon90

The last stage of my drinking was from Feb. to Aug.
1990 where I first had an a car accident which landed
me in the hospital for 10 days, then in Aug. an attempt
to exit this world.

Family stepped in placing me into the hands of those
capable of teaching me about my addiction to alcohol
and a program of recovery that I would learn and incor-
perate in my daily lift for the next 29 yrs to achieve
health, happiness and honesty with every step and
breath I would take.

My family circle is very much aware of my recovery
and sobriety because they had a hand in it, saving my
life. A gift that I am not ashamed of but grateful for.

Today with the tools and knowledge learned and applied
to my daily life, I am now responsible for my own recovery
as well as being of service to others struggling with addiction
by passing that information on and sharing my experiences,
strengths and hopes to others like yourself.

August252015

Open from the get go. Not everyone knew the extent of my near death but plenty knew enough to know it hadn't been good.

No shame in reclaiming my life. As it has evolved, my recovery is completely public including interviews, podcasts, a nationwide recovery group, local panel participation and all manner of social media. I also have a website that is recovery themed, and written in the third person most of the time tho more has transistioned to the first in blog posts as I go. I consider all of that a blessing.

Stayingsassy

I told everyone in order to stay sober.

Not telling everyone makes it easy to find people to drink with.

I couldn’t and didn’t allow myself any social leeway.

People hated it and pushed for me to drink. They thought I was a fun drunk. My husband knew differently.

I stood firm with everyone and announced “I don’t drink anymore” to anyone and everyone in every social situation, because I rarely encounter any social situations where people aren’t drinking, unfortunately.

My problem is dangerous and it was a way I protected myself from drinking again.

Also if you DON’T address it, you get to bat off questions for years. Do you really want to deal with that? One and done I say, get it out of the way and within months everyone knows.

doggonecarl

There are no rules about telling or not telling people you've decided to quit drinking. But if you do keep it quiet, make sure it isn't so you can go back to drinking and nobody would be the wiser.

Tetrax

I post milestones without going into details on Facebook, partly because I used to write drunk on there A LOT, partly because I knew how serious I was gonna be taking this.

August252015

Sidenote: my husband's job is high profile. High up in the public school system and often the "front page above the fold" person in the paper. He just says he doesn't drink when in public circles, completely engaged in his AA program and fully accepting of it, but our conversations and work he does in this realm are private. We have learned to balance the words I choose when being interviewed to protect his privacy (it made it easier at first because I kept my name, but I'm sure people have caught on).

Stayingsassy

Yes, for career reasons I do not go into details. The words “recovery” and “alcoholic” are not said. I just say “I don’t drink anymore.” And when questioned, I say “it lost its appeal.”

Both of those statements are true. The rest is private.

Sunnyday13

Only close friends.
I told a few friends who I thought knew I had a problem. They didn’t. All my telling did was make them slightly uncomfortable. So I am now only telling people who definitely knew my history with alcohol.

BullDog777

Everyone that knew me,knew I was on a downward spiral and at the end of my life before I got sober. So...I think there was a collective sigh of relief from those same people when they found out I got clean.

As for new people I meet...I don't try to hide it, but I don't advertise it either. If someone asks me why I don't drink I simply tell them I used to have a problem with it so I quit all together. If they inquire more, I'm honest about it.

I don't feel any shame about it. I'd be ashamed if I was still active. I don't think I've ever encountered anyone who wasn't impressed by the fact that I quit and stayed quit.

ZIP

I discussed it with my wife and my doctor.

As an isolation drinker, I suppose I was somewhat fortunate---no arrests, no job loss, no big bar tabs.
I guzzled at home, passed out at bedtime, and woke up to go to work.

My doctor actually helped me out by saying that drinking is bad for overall health... (He's seen his share of abuse patients and is not a fan of imbibing).
So, I eventually told other family members I decided to quit, when offered a drink.
In social situations, I simply say, "No thanks, I don't drink." Never have had an issue just saying that. To me, it's like saying, "No thanks, I don't smoke".

Folks are pretty accepting and not as nosey as I thought...
For me, sobriety is a personal journey and a personal achievement.

Grymt

It's a long time since anyone or any situation has required me to say anything about it, except for AA meetings. Generally I have no aversion to disclosure. Once I got stopped for a random breathalyser and when asked if I'd had anything to drink I said no, I don't drink, I'm an alcoholic. The cop said, oh ok you're in recovery. I said yes and he just waved me on. I reckon he knew about it. I agree that it's just another layer of securing my sobriety. A kind of verbal contract.