Fusion

I feed the Wolf of Sobriety and simply acknowledge the Wolf of Addiction.

That's important, for if I fight the Wolf of Addiction (which I name my AV), I may lose and be at risk of carrying out its drink mandate. I guess some folks call it surrender, but I call it acknowledging and then dismissing, because to fight it will make it's cravings grow stronger, I've found. Then quietly, refocusing my attention in readiness for the next habitual thought:

https://youtu.be/vzKryaN44ss

kk1k5x

Great story I've read it and heard it many times now, but its substance is so brilliant, it never gets old.

You can also combine that with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nsySCMH36s

Cosima11

I think that's a great way of putting it. The goal has never been to "defeat" my AV but rather to disengage and observe it as I maintain my autonomy. In the beginning it can require large amounts of conscious effort to re-direct our thoughts, but even if the (seemingly both unhealthy) choices are give in to the obsession to drink or immerse ourselves in an obsession with recovery.. there's still always a choice imo.

In the "program" I'm in.. they mention how surrender put another way can simply mean "total and complete acceptance". Makes sense to me.

SnazzyDresser

I like this a lot and agree strongly!

Fusion

That makes sense and sounds like a great ethos, Cosima. What program are you in?

Fusion

Oh yes, Kk, Mindfulness, thats played a massive role in my mind's management of my brain's automatic, habituated thought patterns. I understand it's now taught in some schools, but out of context, almost. The context should be a manual for understanding and controlling the lower brain's urges and cravings, by employing the higher brain's mind.

Cosima11

It's just a program overlapping abuse, which often first occurs in childhood (covering things like PTSD, boundaries, learning to develop internal validation, self esteem, etc.) and addiction. I sometimes feel it's not moving fast enough as the first half is about addiction.. and frankly, it's nothing I haven't heard before.

But they put a different, more clinical spin on things.. For example, they (directly) say there's nothing original or proprietary about any of the steps other than step one. The HP concept, taking personal inventory, making amends, spiritual awakening.. All of those things have been around and available long before AA existed. But if you're fully convinced of step one (powerlessness, alcoholism as an innate part of identity) you'll do 2-12 exactly as they're written because you'll be too afraid not to.

Personally I've never wanted my sobriety to be based in fear. I may sometimes be powerless to control my thoughts or emotions, but by by gaining an objective conscious awareness of them I retain power over myself and my actions.

MaximusD

Tatsy, this is great. I am going to add it to my repertoire. I am trying to practice more mindfulness. I enjoyed those videos at the beginning of this thread.