Runningblind

This forum has been real great for me reading about all the positive events people have in recovery. I was doing it strong myself. I had 47 days in and then the bullet hit.

I'm in a bit of a life changing situation which actually helped me stay sober. I am exercising daily. I got a girlfriend who is in Russia who I travel to and visit regularly. I am an ecommerce business owner and working with delivery/uber on the side when I'm in the states. I have plans to move to Thailand so that I can enjoy the traveling life and be with my gf who doesn't have a US visa.

Here's the issue: so business has taken a sharp turn due to the Corona virus and I couldn't handle the fact i'd not be running a business at the financial level I was at. It was the equivalent of being laid off. So I'm feeling all this negativity and I can't shake it. What do I do? Go right to the store and get a bottle. Alcohol is a sick lottery is all I have to say. You never know when the number is up.

I wasn't really needing a lot of support or a program because I thought that just choosing my best life and going towards it was the cure. Lesson learned. Now I know I have to first keep the walls from closing in (money) then actively participate in a community of people with the same goals. Hence this is what brought me here. I'm feeling the deep shame and regret of letting my animal self take control. I just hope that posting this here will inspire someone else when they are about to take the "plunge". It is never worth it. The morning is pain and then more pain filled with the cravings you had when you started sobriety. But as the title of the post says, here it goes again.

Dee74

Welcome back runningblind

If things are tough economically right now all the more reasonto have your wits about you. You can only do that sober.

If history teaches us anything it's that the virus scare will pass and things will be ok again.

Try not to leap too far ahead in your mind and overwhelm yourself with what ifs.

Runningblind

Thanks for your sage advice. I needed it on this day.

ScottFromWI

Hope today is a better one Runningblind. I tried to solve a lot of my problems with alcohol too, but every single time it always made them worse. Like most things in life, business is a cycle and I wish you the best of luck in getting back on the right side of things. In the meantime though, getting rid of the booze is probably the number one thing you can do to help your situation. There are lots of folks here to support you in that decision if that's what you seek.