Need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 10
Need advice
Out of rehab may 20..coming up on 7 months.have been staying away from girlfriend detaching.anyway was feeling lonely the other day so invited her over to my house.she went food shopping and was starting to cook dinner.started ok.thought she would respect my sobriety.
In the kitchen she started with rum and cola.i seen the change start.i was feed a good meal.as i was eating i heard her call the coke man.she meet him outside.she came back in and went to the bathroom,when she came out she dropped a bag of coke.i didnt see it till she came back into room and picked it up.i said what are u doing trying to temp me.she said no not at all. After awhile she went to the store to get beer.she became all buzzed up talking non stop.i was getting upset,that was me 7 months ago.i was trying to show compassion for a sick person.had no desire to use at all.BUT I MUST PROTECT MY IWN SOBRIETY. MYST DETACH WITH LOVE.i cant do this anymore.been with this woman a long time,was trying to see if this could work.
I no it's like reading the same book over and over again hoping it would end differently. Need any advice wisdom esh.on what to do...I no what to do just need to hear it from people here.
In the kitchen she started with rum and cola.i seen the change start.i was feed a good meal.as i was eating i heard her call the coke man.she meet him outside.she came back in and went to the bathroom,when she came out she dropped a bag of coke.i didnt see it till she came back into room and picked it up.i said what are u doing trying to temp me.she said no not at all. After awhile she went to the store to get beer.she became all buzzed up talking non stop.i was getting upset,that was me 7 months ago.i was trying to show compassion for a sick person.had no desire to use at all.BUT I MUST PROTECT MY IWN SOBRIETY. MYST DETACH WITH LOVE.i cant do this anymore.been with this woman a long time,was trying to see if this could work.
I no it's like reading the same book over and over again hoping it would end differently. Need any advice wisdom esh.on what to do...I no what to do just need to hear it from people here.
I'd reconsider your relationship, maybe take a break from her for a while. What she did was not nice at all. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
That just isn't healthy for you. Far too much frustration and temptation. Your girlfriend didn't even try and respect your sobriety. You are both following different paths now and want different things.
You are in recovery so please try and be kind to yourself.
You are in recovery so please try and be kind to yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,648
Over one dinner she had rum, had coke delivered and went and got beer.
It's pretty clear what she is about. It's also pretty clear that is not what your life is about anymore.
So detach, it cannot ever work like it is. Some day she might find recovery, but that's up to her, of course. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it, can't Cure it (the 3 c's).
Perhaps just let her know that you need to stop seeing each other, that you are committed to being sober now and leave it at that?
It's pretty clear what she is about. It's also pretty clear that is not what your life is about anymore.
So detach, it cannot ever work like it is. Some day she might find recovery, but that's up to her, of course. You didn't Cause it, can't Control it, can't Cure it (the 3 c's).
Perhaps just let her know that you need to stop seeing each other, that you are committed to being sober now and leave it at that?
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