Unexpected Joys of Being Sober
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Unexpected Joys of Being Sober
When I first tried to quit drinking, an SR friend recommended I read Annie Grace’s This Naked mind. I was willing to do whatever this person said because I was so desperate. So I grabbed onto that book like it was a lifesaver, and it actually ended up being one. I attribute much of my sobriety to that book which opened my eyes to addiction and the cons that alcohol really is in our society. Many of you here have heard me reference the book before.
I just read another book, however, which I think was perhaps just as good. I really wanted to pass it on to all of you too: The Unexpected Joys of Being Sober. I’d seen it referenced many times but didn’t gravitate towards it. I think a part of me thought it sounded cheesy. It truly was terrific, though. It helped to reinforce what I already knew, taught me new things (which is hard to do, bc I’ve really studied addiction in the past few years!), and made me feel, well, normal.
if you haven’t read these two books, I highly recommend you do.
I just read another book, however, which I think was perhaps just as good. I really wanted to pass it on to all of you too: The Unexpected Joys of Being Sober. I’d seen it referenced many times but didn’t gravitate towards it. I think a part of me thought it sounded cheesy. It truly was terrific, though. It helped to reinforce what I already knew, taught me new things (which is hard to do, bc I’ve really studied addiction in the past few years!), and made me feel, well, normal.
if you haven’t read these two books, I highly recommend you do.
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Originally Posted by least 
Who's the author of 'Unexpected Joys' book? I've never heard of that one. I've heard of This Naked Mind, tho haven't read it.
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This book by Catherine Gray is a phenomenal book. The audiobook is amazing as she is a great narrator (and also she has a v nice accent!!) - she is hilarious and amazingly insightful. Also there is a healthy dose of the scientific side of it all seamlessly woven in to the rest of the narrative. I think it's the best book out there that I've read on the subject. Really inspiring and engrossing. Think about all of the best hope based threads on here encapsulated into a beautifully written book.
I loved Annie Grace's book and it really helped get a wave of momentum going but closer examination of the concepts (and my own relapses) made me less enthused about the notion of such a quick fix.
Edit: Agreed on the title. You expect something very saccharine and vanilla, or maybe just a bit cheesy and naff - but it's actually super edgy, very in depth and just ticks all the boxes.
I loved Annie Grace's book and it really helped get a wave of momentum going but closer examination of the concepts (and my own relapses) made me less enthused about the notion of such a quick fix.
Edit: Agreed on the title. You expect something very saccharine and vanilla, or maybe just a bit cheesy and naff - but it's actually super edgy, very in depth and just ticks all the boxes.
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Alcohol explained by William Porter is also very good. And I would very much recommend the documentary called pleasure unwoven. Really explains a lot of the brain stuff.
Last edited by Dee74; 11-04-2019 at 05:00 PM. Reason: removed commercial link rule 1
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Originally Posted by Briansy
Agreed on the title. You expect something very saccharine and vanilla, or maybe just a bit cheesy and naff - but it's actually super edgy, very in depth and just ticks all the boxes.
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Originally Posted by Sober369
I loved Unexpected Joy! It played a big part in me getting sober.
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Originally Posted by Briansy
I loved Annie Grace's book and it really helped get a wave of momentum going but closer examination of the concepts (and my own relapses) made me less enthused about the notion of such a quick fix.
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Thanks sohard - I have had Unexpected Joys on my list forever. I go in waves on my recovery book reading!
I'd also recommend Russell Brand's Recovery to anyone. I've never been a big fan, if you will, but his version of "F-in 12 Steppin'" is great. And funny.
Right now, I've got the Last Interview with Anthony Bourdain up, and I'm sooooo excited that one of my top 2 mentors in life and sobriety, Steve Palmer, has written his memoir Say Grace. He's an incredible person, restaurateur and most significantly (to him and me!) the founder of the industry group Ben's Friends, which I'm honored to help lead. I've already pre-ordered 6 copies to give as Christmas gifts!
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Also, William Porter, the author of Alcohol Explained, has a blog of the same title, which includes the first five chapters of the book, plus interesting, regular blog posts. I particularly like his explanation (although he doesn’t delve into the research, so no footnotes) of how the body reacts as alcohol leaves the body, irritable, discontent, the body feeling worse than before imbibing alcohol. So another drink is required to attempt to establish homeostasis. But, every drink imbibed, takes the body further away. Chasing the dragon, I suppose. On his blog is a link to a YouTube video that describes this process.
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Originally Posted by Tatsy
Also, William Porter, the author of Alcohol Explained, has a blog of the same title, which includes the first five chapters of the book, plus interesting, regular blog posts. I particularly like his explanation (although he doesn’t delve into the research, so no footnotes) of how the body reacts as alcohol leaves the body, irritable, discontent, the body feeling worse than before imbibing alcohol. So another drink is required to attempt to establish homeostasis. But, every drink imbibed, takes the body further away. Chasing the dragon, I suppose. On his blog is a link to a YouTube video that describes this process.
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Originally Posted by August252015
This is why I dislike Allen Carr. Enough said.
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Originally Posted by Briansy
It was disappointing to listen to Allen Carr and realise that Annie's book is a pretty egregious rip off of his - granted, she has her own take on it and she adds to it with an in depth delving in to the physiological aspects of alcohol addiction, but the entire spine of the book is the same as Carr. I actually can't believe she got away with it! It's a better book, no doubt about it, but it is effectively a modernised version of Carr's.
, I’m just so darn glad I read Annie’s version of these truths as Allen’s words just didn’t really inspire me. Member
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Originally Posted by Sohard
really? I didn’t see it that way. In my view, much of what they said is fact (not opinion) so you can’t rip those off. It’s like if one author expounds on why it matters that the earth is round and not flat, and then so does another. I think both authors were pointing out facts that have just been unseen for so long bc of the marketing of alcohol in society and its misunderstanding. But even if I’m wrong, which I certainly might be
, I’m just so darn glad I read Annie’s version of these truths as Allen’s words just didn’t really inspire me. But who cares if it works, right? And I got a lot from Annie just like you - and far less from Allen Carr. I think the main issue I have with both is that Allen Carr has taken the concept from his hugely successful quitting smoking book - that it is a toxic poison and did you ever actually enjoy it?- and applied it to alcohol. The main flaw, as William Porter pointed out in his book is that there was a time for all of us when consuming alcohol was unquestionably enjoyable no matter how much Allen Carr tries to convince us it wasn't.
Just my two cents.
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My two cents too Briansy:
Allen Carr is much closer to Jason Vale's book than Annie Grace is close to Allen Carr's. Jason Vale's approach to drinking is a version of the Allen Carr's approach to quitting smoking. Overall, these authors and many others do not pretend to be scientists.
They don't claim to be bringing an original approach to this. They narrate their personal experience and add several scientific facts. They experience is important because it is personal and therefore relatable. That's the beauty of this forum and others too.
We find people who have been on our same boat. We realise we are not alone. That even if we see ourselves as 'functioning' or 'weak' or 'non-disciplined' or whatever, compared to others, there are many suffering in the same way.
To me, Annie Grace's experience as well as the experience of bloggers such as mummywasacecretdrinker have helped me more than Alen's Carr. Because I don't relate at all with the golf outings and the little bottle of whisky. I do see myselves in women who are questioning how it is possible they stopped drinking when pregnant with zero problems but can't do it now.
I relate to the experience of hiding alcohol even when you are not drinking that much, helping to keep the secret very long because it is still not really normal for a woman to drink alone in most circumstances and places.
You will hardly enter a pub and find 5 or 6 alcoholic women you can spot straight away. The experience is different and I am glad some women are also writing about theirs.
Different appraoches work for different people. I don't think it is necessary to point out the weaknesses of any of them. My least favourite part of Allen Carr, Annie Grace or Jason Vale approach if their need to criticise AA or other methods based on permanent recovery or adding a transcendent element to your journey. Why do they need to do this?
I am following my journey, reading everything I can and taking more of what seems to work and avoiding what doesn't (for instance, reading about relapse seems to get me in a very wrong place).
I am reading the book recommended by Sohard now. So far, I don't relate to the personal experience of the author because it is different (very) from mine. Which means it will be very close for someone else. These are personal accounts of personal journeys, no matter how much drinking too much means many common points of reference.
By the way, I never ever enjoyed drinking per se. It was always a social thing to 'belong'. The minute I started drinking alone I knew I was hooked. I totally get this is not the same for everybody, particularly for persons who have grown up seeing drinking as normal, which was not my case (and a total no-no for a woman)
Allen Carr is much closer to Jason Vale's book than Annie Grace is close to Allen Carr's. Jason Vale's approach to drinking is a version of the Allen Carr's approach to quitting smoking. Overall, these authors and many others do not pretend to be scientists.
They don't claim to be bringing an original approach to this. They narrate their personal experience and add several scientific facts. They experience is important because it is personal and therefore relatable. That's the beauty of this forum and others too.
We find people who have been on our same boat. We realise we are not alone. That even if we see ourselves as 'functioning' or 'weak' or 'non-disciplined' or whatever, compared to others, there are many suffering in the same way.
To me, Annie Grace's experience as well as the experience of bloggers such as mummywasacecretdrinker have helped me more than Alen's Carr. Because I don't relate at all with the golf outings and the little bottle of whisky. I do see myselves in women who are questioning how it is possible they stopped drinking when pregnant with zero problems but can't do it now.
I relate to the experience of hiding alcohol even when you are not drinking that much, helping to keep the secret very long because it is still not really normal for a woman to drink alone in most circumstances and places.
You will hardly enter a pub and find 5 or 6 alcoholic women you can spot straight away. The experience is different and I am glad some women are also writing about theirs.
Different appraoches work for different people. I don't think it is necessary to point out the weaknesses of any of them. My least favourite part of Allen Carr, Annie Grace or Jason Vale approach if their need to criticise AA or other methods based on permanent recovery or adding a transcendent element to your journey. Why do they need to do this?
I am following my journey, reading everything I can and taking more of what seems to work and avoiding what doesn't (for instance, reading about relapse seems to get me in a very wrong place).
I am reading the book recommended by Sohard now. So far, I don't relate to the personal experience of the author because it is different (very) from mine. Which means it will be very close for someone else. These are personal accounts of personal journeys, no matter how much drinking too much means many common points of reference.
By the way, I never ever enjoyed drinking per se. It was always a social thing to 'belong'. The minute I started drinking alone I knew I was hooked. I totally get this is not the same for everybody, particularly for persons who have grown up seeing drinking as normal, which was not my case (and a total no-no for a woman)
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