PozSkaggs

I went through the same thing, chronic relapse and guilt for at least 15 years. This time I attended AA meetings instead of trying to do it myself. Around the 8th month was when I started getting annihilated by flashbacks and was in a constant state of cringing. It gradually went away by my 18th month of sobriety. My username is meant to be fun and a little silly but the reality is PAWS can be a hellish nightmare and your brain is desperately trying to heal. Hang in there and cut yourself some slack.