Briansy

"Ah, bulldog, our dopamine is *******. We just hit the lever too many times. Our baseline isn’t good."

I absolutely get what's being said here but permanently lowered baseline? Short term for sure, but I really hope that's not permanently the case! I was under the impression that, yes, brain pathways were permanently altered as it pertained to pleasure from alcohol, withdrawal etc but that our ability to enjoy day to day stuff would eventually restore to pre-drinking states?

Obviously a big topic!!!

Stayingsassy

I’m not sure if it’s definitive, Briansy. I would guess that everyone is different in this regard. It’s something that’s hard to measure, because when you drink for a long time (like many of us do) it’s hard to know what we really felt and thought before we started drinking.

I think low dopamine is part of my baseline from the beginning for me, as I felt “corrected” very early on with alcohol, not high, just finally normal, or what I thought most people must be feeling every day without the booze. I think my dad and my aunt were the same way.

If you were a person who didn’t struggle with lifelong melancholy or depression throughout your life, and didn’t hammer the “lever” as hard or as long as someone else, you might be more likely to return to what is the baseline for you.

I think it’s all kinda murky science, tbh. I just know how I feel.

Briansy

Makes perfect sense Sassy. I'm in your boat I think. How hard I pulled the lever? Probably about a 6 or 7 out of 10. Enough for it to take massively from my life but not to completely grind it into the dust! I shouldn't use the past tense on day 7 but this year has been very different - the efforts are more frequent, more concerted and I am sure will lead to the desired outcome.

August252015

IMO.....and observation of people....it's permanent. Whether mentally or physically, what we consistently hear is that we go back out and quickly find we're drinking more than before. Seems lots of comments to just that popping up this morning...as for the other stuff, I've certainly had a lot of that restored. I also find happiness and contentment etc in diff ways than before, even before the alcoholism took over. I do think that my brain has wiring that has a different baseline than other people- not an intolerance or definitive one like alcohol, but more fluid.

Sassy- sorry you are struggling too. Sounds like your husband has a non-alcoholic's reaction to what actually is "too much." And I can't count on a home free....I hope you keep being honest like you are and take extra steps. You've been sober since 2017 & we are proud.

Stayingsassy

Thanks August. I’m being as honest as possible, it doesn’t help me to tell everyone I’m perfectly fine if I have drinking thoughts. Honestly this week I found myself waking up sober as usual and surprised that I haven’t started again. I think despite the thoughts, I have not given myself permission to drink. Coming here helps tremendously so I can write it out and remind myself who I am.

RaiseAnchor

Absolutely use the past tense! I have found it incredibly beneficial to keep my past, harmful addictions, well... in the past properly. Even so, I think in very early recovery I spoke as if the problem was from a distant past. I don't see any real harm in that as long as you can keep yourself grounded.

Stayingsassy

I did the same.

Never think “realistically” early on. What your brain perceived as realistic and normal is drinking and getting drunk.

Put your head beyond that. Think like a sober person, act and react as if drinking is finished, and it will be much more likely to be.

August252015

The saying "you can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking" helped me as I got started. One action choosing sobriety after the other, and new thoughts became the norm.

Briansy

You know, funny, the only reason I qualified my statement was because I didn't want to be seen to be complacent. But good we're all on the same page. I do look at the sober days this year, and the quality of those sober days and just know that it's finally going the way it needs to be going. Not just pretend quitting with an end, a relief, in sight a month down the road.

But then...vigilance! Ahh, be still, brain...