Wtf??!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so treading in here delicately....if i understand the scenario correctly, you were sitting AT a bar and ordered this drink. this was a bar in a restaurant.
is it AS likely that a bartender would "jazz up" a drink for someone unknown/unseen patron at some table, as they would the customer sitting across the bar from them??
i am not defending the bartender in any way, but it's not too much of a stretch for him or her to "assume" the patrons at the establishment where they serve all the liquor might WANT a strong drink? and that the closer in proximity we put ourselves, the more likely we are to have such an experience of that "accidental" drink..........
is it AS likely that a bartender would "jazz up" a drink for someone unknown/unseen patron at some table, as they would the customer sitting across the bar from them??
i am not defending the bartender in any way, but it's not too much of a stretch for him or her to "assume" the patrons at the establishment where they serve all the liquor might WANT a strong drink? and that the closer in proximity we put ourselves, the more likely we are to have such an experience of that "accidental" drink..........
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I've had a few instances where the servers didn't understand what I meant when inquiring about their 'mocktail' selections. I feel like I would have had better luck using the term 'virgin' seems to carry more weight with bar/wait staff.
I'm liking that Moscow Mules seem to be enjoying a trendy uptick, lots of ginger beer in places where it wasn't
I'm liking that Moscow Mules seem to be enjoying a trendy uptick, lots of ginger beer in places where it wasn't
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Tatsy 
Hi Sohard, so my take on this is:
You visited a restaurant, fully intending not to drink alcohol. Consequently, you ordered a drink that did not contain alcohol.
Negligently, the bartender added alcohol to your drink. Effectively spiked it and thankfully advised you of the addition, as a consequence of which, you refused to drink it.
You subsequently complained to the restaurant manager, regarding the bartender’s negligent act: as a consequence of which, hopefully, it won’t reoccur.
You visited a restaurant, fully intending not to drink alcohol. Consequently, you ordered a drink that did not contain alcohol.
Negligently, the bartender added alcohol to your drink. Effectively spiked it and thankfully advised you of the addition, as a consequence of which, you refused to drink it.
You subsequently complained to the restaurant manager, regarding the bartender’s negligent act: as a consequence of which, hopefully, it won’t reoccur.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 87
Part of early recovery I was told was to keep it simple. Going to a bar ordering a "mocktail", and being served a drink with liquor in it would absolutely be upsetting. I would also look at my own actions, and question if I made a smart choice putting myself in that scenario. Not saying what they did was right, but also there could be something to reflect upon here.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I would have been pissed too. I might have cracked the dumb a$$ for doing something so stupid, and it would have freaked me out too.
Sohard ..........this is good news.
It means you really care about your sobriety and you're trying to protect it.
Go back, and look at some of your old posts. The person in those old posts is not the same one who is so rightfully upset about this. It means you're growing. It means you're healing. It means you're making progress.
That's incredible for any of us.
You struggled for so long on your sobriety. Up and down, in and out like I did for so long. Not only did you not drink the loaded drink, but you did the next right thing.
Good job, bada$$.
Sohard ..........this is good news.
It means you really care about your sobriety and you're trying to protect it.
Go back, and look at some of your old posts. The person in those old posts is not the same one who is so rightfully upset about this. It means you're growing. It means you're healing. It means you're making progress.
That's incredible for any of us.
You struggled for so long on your sobriety. Up and down, in and out like I did for so long. Not only did you not drink the loaded drink, but you did the next right thing.
Good job, bada$$.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
The references to lamb in a veggie burger or being served a steak instead of the ordered dish are different to me for a few reasons:
Lamb is way more expensive than mushroom/barley/whatever is used in the veggie burger (that's my practical side doing kitchen and bar invoices and knowing how much chefs and owners care about cost)
I'm not going to tread into other comparisons because I don't want to continue any debate on it and to me, beside the point of What. Actually. Happened. And, therefore, what to learn and do next. I would mean that sincerely no matter who had the OP or how they felt.
Also, my reference to the use of the word "should" is because for me, should is indeed a dangerous word to an alcoholic. Nothing revolves around what I think should happen. Period. It's a moot point that would keep me egocentric and stuck and quickly on the road to resentments.
And thank you OneofYou for the kind mention. Hopefully, it is indeed how I come across most of the time. I'm never rooting for any one to have anything besides a sober, content life best we can.
I'm just going to leave it there because I'm not wanting to continue the lambasting in any direction. Peace.
Lamb is way more expensive than mushroom/barley/whatever is used in the veggie burger (that's my practical side doing kitchen and bar invoices and knowing how much chefs and owners care about cost)
I'm not going to tread into other comparisons because I don't want to continue any debate on it and to me, beside the point of What. Actually. Happened. And, therefore, what to learn and do next. I would mean that sincerely no matter who had the OP or how they felt.
Also, my reference to the use of the word "should" is because for me, should is indeed a dangerous word to an alcoholic. Nothing revolves around what I think should happen. Period. It's a moot point that would keep me egocentric and stuck and quickly on the road to resentments.
And thank you OneofYou for the kind mention. Hopefully, it is indeed how I come across most of the time. I'm never rooting for any one to have anything besides a sober, content life best we can.
I'm just going to leave it there because I'm not wanting to continue the lambasting in any direction. Peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by BullDog777
I would have been pissed too. I might have cracked the dumb a$$ for doing something so stupid, and it would have freaked me out too.
Sohard ..........this is good news.
It means you really care about your sobriety and you're trying to protect it.
Go back, and look at some of your old posts. The person in those old posts is not the same one who is so rightfully upset about this. It means you're growing. It means you're healing. It means you're making progress.
That's incredible for any of us.
You struggled for so long on your sobriety. Up and down, in and out like I did for so long. Not only did you not drink the loaded drink, but you did the next right thing.
Good job, bada$$.
Sohard ..........this is good news.
It means you really care about your sobriety and you're trying to protect it.
Go back, and look at some of your old posts. The person in those old posts is not the same one who is so rightfully upset about this. It means you're growing. It means you're healing. It means you're making progress.
That's incredible for any of us.
You struggled for so long on your sobriety. Up and down, in and out like I did for so long. Not only did you not drink the loaded drink, but you did the next right thing.
Good job, bada$$.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
A learning experience for sure SoHard. The world is full of bad situations and bad people - you did the right thing and protected your sobriety. Change what you can and leave the rest be, it won't help you to stew about things that are beyond your control. You own your sobriety so treat it well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
When I eat at a restaurant or sit at a bar (to eat), I always order unsweet iced tea or club soda and a lime.
One is extremely difficult and the other lends itself to a mistake (whether unintentional or foolish, as in SoHard's case).
My central nervous system really, really likes alcohol.
It would not distinguish between an honest mistake or a stupid idea.
It would just embrace the alcohol and, of course, want a lot more of it.
It wouldn't care whether I was working my recovery program very hard or whether I was being careless (not implying SoHard was, of course).
It would just welcome the alcohol and want a whole lot more of it.
When I sit at a bar, I always watch the bartender fix my club soda and lime.
They make a lot of drinks and the non-alcoholic ones are very likely the exception and not the norm (you food and beverage folks would know whether I'm right on this notion).
If I am at a table (as opposed to the bar), I usually stick with iced tea.
But, if I really want a club soda and lime, I order it in an iced tea glass and I smell it very carefully before I take a drink of it.
When in doubt, I ask my wife or someone else at the table to take the first drink or bite (of a food item).
I don't offer my approach as a recommendation (unless you're my sponsee or someone early on in recovery whom I'm trying to help).
It's just what I do and what I have done for almost 31 years now (all without alcohol or drugs).
Other peoples' mileage may vary and I fully respect that.
But for my sobriety, I make the rules and this is what I do.
I had a similar experience with supposedly non-alcoholic cough syrup many years ago.
The brand (Delsym, I believe) which made the non-alcoholic cough syrup that my addictionologist recommended and that I had taken as need for several years (when I got sick) began selling an alcohol-based version in an almost identical box with inadequate highlighting of the fact that it contained alcohol.
I got it in my mouth,but it tasted funny.
So I ran to bathroom and looked at the bottle and box, so I spat it out (think: projectile hurling). I washed my mouth out.
I was furious, understandably, I think.
But I have henceforth carefully read the labels of all meds that I put in my mouth.
Had I swallowed it, I would have probably been "in the right", so to speak, but that would have been a pyrrhic victory at a time that I could have very likely started craving alcohol again and possibly relapsed.
One is extremely difficult and the other lends itself to a mistake (whether unintentional or foolish, as in SoHard's case).
My central nervous system really, really likes alcohol.
It would not distinguish between an honest mistake or a stupid idea.
It would just embrace the alcohol and, of course, want a lot more of it.
It wouldn't care whether I was working my recovery program very hard or whether I was being careless (not implying SoHard was, of course).
It would just welcome the alcohol and want a whole lot more of it.
When I sit at a bar, I always watch the bartender fix my club soda and lime.
They make a lot of drinks and the non-alcoholic ones are very likely the exception and not the norm (you food and beverage folks would know whether I'm right on this notion).
If I am at a table (as opposed to the bar), I usually stick with iced tea.
But, if I really want a club soda and lime, I order it in an iced tea glass and I smell it very carefully before I take a drink of it.
When in doubt, I ask my wife or someone else at the table to take the first drink or bite (of a food item).
I don't offer my approach as a recommendation (unless you're my sponsee or someone early on in recovery whom I'm trying to help).
It's just what I do and what I have done for almost 31 years now (all without alcohol or drugs).
Other peoples' mileage may vary and I fully respect that.
But for my sobriety, I make the rules and this is what I do.
I had a similar experience with supposedly non-alcoholic cough syrup many years ago.
The brand (Delsym, I believe) which made the non-alcoholic cough syrup that my addictionologist recommended and that I had taken as need for several years (when I got sick) began selling an alcohol-based version in an almost identical box with inadequate highlighting of the fact that it contained alcohol.
I got it in my mouth,but it tasted funny.
So I ran to bathroom and looked at the bottle and box, so I spat it out (think: projectile hurling). I washed my mouth out.
I was furious, understandably, I think.
But I have henceforth carefully read the labels of all meds that I put in my mouth.
Had I swallowed it, I would have probably been "in the right", so to speak, but that would have been a pyrrhic victory at a time that I could have very likely started craving alcohol again and possibly relapsed.
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