speed39144

So I have thankfully quit drinking entirely for 6 1/2 months now. Was drinking everyday, most nights at least 2/3 of a fifth of vodka, many nights the whole thing. I suffered daily, only happy when I was drunk. Leaving that behind I have really began to enjoy life again. BUT then WHAM...out of nowhere I found myself looking longingly at the liquor store as I drove past the last two days. Remembering only the good, not the bad, thinking I could just have a few this weekend. Really needed to get my ass back on here to remember the horror. Thanks everyone for your stories , both good and bad. They have helped me stay on the straight and narrow.

Ghostlight1

Glad you made the correct decision and didn't succumb to alcohol's death knell.
Because that's what it is for me. And it was a horror story for me I won't go into.
But I sure never woke up thinking 'I'm sure glad I drank last night'.
Play the tape through to the end. There is no future in drinking. Just misery.

Good for you for not giving in and coming here. And remember, you never have to drink again.
And congratulations on your sober time. You're a miracle in the making.

Surlyredhead

Speed,

I understand what you are going through, but if you follow that train of thought past the sneak preview, you will get to the feature attraction, hangover, blackout, regret, shame, disappointment, fear, you name it. I think you will realize that it is just not worth that first drink that will take your sober time. I am glad you are here. Those thoughts will pass.

least

Congrats on your sober time! The cravings are just feelings and don't have to be acted upon. Distract yourself or do some self-talk about why you quit drinking in the first place. You can get past this and be stronger for it.

I pretty much stopped getting cravings to drink after I started practicing gratitude every day. Made me realize how good my sober life was and how much I had to lose if I drank.

DesertDawg

One of the things they taught us when I was in rehab was to "Play the tape forward" I KNOW that I can't have just a few drinks, and if I pick up the bottle, it's going to end with me drunk, then hungover, then wanting to get drunk again. Whenever I relapsed, it was because I had (incorrectly) convinced myself I could control it. I only made real progress when I disabused myself of that notion.
Best of luck...sounds like you're on the right track.

johnnyt53

Thanks for the post. That's the insanity. Failing to bring into sufficient force how it was so as not to do it again. I am reminded that I have a good forgetter. When tempted I recall with as much memory as possible what it was like, really like, the bad stuff. Then I will think how positive the direction of my life is now. Keep driving past the liquor store, you're on a new road now.

Dropsie

Speed,

What Desert said. For me too the hardest thing was to accept that abstinence is not control.

At some point, I would think logically that because I could stop, I could control my drinking. Liar.

It was only when I accepted in my emotional center that that one sip was all it took, that I was able to stop.

I still entertain the thought from time to time, why I dont know when it ruined my life, but then I shut it down becuase I dont drink.

If you accept in your heart that all it takes is one drink and all the bad stuff will be back and worse than it ever was, makes it easier to drive past the store.

Abstinence is not control, never forget that and you will be fine.

Lpg

Congratulations on your sober time your doing amazing. Don't let it suck you in the AV will tell you whatever it wants to hear. I know that feeling.....Think back to the first das of your quit, remember those feelings, I know if I do this I quickly remember I don't fancy revisiting going back to those feelings. I also go back and read my first posts here it's a great reminder for me. Keep up the good work.

JeffreyAK

My worst craving was about 6 months in, and it was triggered by a whiff of hand sanitizer. Just a whiff, but that sent me into orbit, and I started thinking all these crazy thoughts while I was salivating - just this once, I can handle now, I need to to prove it to myself, etc. Fortunately I saw it for what it was, threw it in the trash, and left the room and the whole building and went for a drive. You did well! I think you will find, the cravings become rare, and eventually stop if you don't act on them.

ScottFromWI

Glad you made the right choice and congrats on your sober time Speed. Falling away from the support/plan that we made early on still applies later as you note. I too fell away from SR after being sober for a few months and thought is was "better" and ended up drinking as a result. Great reminder.

RecklessEric

My CBT therapist told me we are not good at remembering pain.
That really resonated with me.
Why put yourself through something you know will cause pain?

Good job on posting about your cravings.
You have control over them.

speed39144

And this is exactly why I didn't give in. I imagined how I would feel throwing away 6+ months of sobriety. Once I started remembering all the horrible things, it took the shine off the idea for sure. Thanks again for the support.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Oh I understand that feeling all too well.
I relapsed after 13 months sober on September 29, 2018 (it was a Saturday) because I was bored, started longing for a drink, thinking I'm not really an alcoholic, remembering how "fun" it used to be to get ****** up, etc.

Spoiler alert: I'm really an alcoholic.

Day 15 today.