steve-in-kville

This has been on my mind a lot lately.... thinking of all the times I quit for a while, only to find myself at the liquor store buying another bottle of bourbon thinking this time will be different. This time I'll wait until late in the evening and just have one. This time I'll be all "classy" and have one after work in a rocks glass with an ice cube and just sip it. This time the bottle will last forever and I'll save it for special occasions. This time....

I always stop and ask: Do I want to be the old Steve or the new-and-improved Steve?

I know how it ends. There is no "this time" with drinking. It always ends the same... me slamming nearly an entire bottle before blackout. There is no "this time" with an addict.

So for all of us struggling over the holidays, ask yourself: do I want to be the new me, or the old me? You have a choice.

D122y

Steve,

Quitting for a while is awesome, because it is the only way to quit forever.

Quitting forever now truly is the only way.

Starting each day at my God given 100% is a blessing I have full control over.

Thanks.

Awake61

Your post really helped me Steve. Thank you!

DriGuy

I remember "this time will be different." I said it every night. I always wanted drinking to be "different this time," and that little voice inside kept telling me that it could be. Stupid little voice inside. What a jerk!

ScottFromWI

It's definitely a choice - and it's one that can have pretty significant consequences, both good and bad. Good reminder Steve, hope you are doing well.

Grungehead

The old "this time will be different" line in my head was like being in the movie Groundhog Day. No matter what seemed different about "this time", it always turned out to be just like all the other times.

Stayingsassy

Haha, yep. I’m amazed at how often I’d find myself smashed again and full of regret, sitting there going “I don’t understand what happened? My limit was four. Why did I drink everything in the house instead?”

gaffo

I like the Joe Rogan podcast, he hits on a lot of subjects that dovetail with my sobriety, like health, fitness, and honest discussion of drugs and alcohol. He and his buddies did a "Sober October" where they abstained from drugs and alcohol for the month of October, which reminded me of the times where I would take a month off (usually December). I don't regret it but it was awful. It made me feel a fleeting sense of control over my alcohol use but I was hungover again every day within a week or two of jumping off the wagon. The other thing was how torturous it was to not drink for a month, it felt like a shaky red "X" on the days of the calendar or hash marks scratched into the prison cell wall until I could drink again. It is liberating to me to know that I will never drink again, there is no "finish line". I love my sobriety now and I'm looking forward to my seventh consecutive Holiday Season without alcohol!

SoberBeard

MindfulMan

There was a moment that it clicked that it would only be different this time if I stopped for good.

August252015

Hi Steve! Glad to see you post! Have a lovely sober holiday and keep taking care of yourself.