Guener

Part of my recovery is dealing with the loss of the instant "gratification" that alcohol afforded me, albeit briefly (the first drink or two). As an alcoholic, one message that my AV sends me is "you'll feel better straight away if you drink", and that bleeds into other aspects of my behaviors. If I'm more irritable, it's probably a vestige of my alcoholic life, since I want something different, my way, quickly. I'm a patient person "normally", but even when it comes to simple things, maybe especially with simple things like hunger, I want satisfaction. I have to slow down my impulses toward getting a "fix" and focus on the process of doing things that will "work" for me.

NYCDoglvr

I can relate to that. One challenge of recovery is I want relief NOW. I had to learn to sit with my feelings and trust that they will change (they always do). Recovery is two parts:

1) Changing my thinking by letting go of projections and expectations. It's a process, two steps forward, one step back, but big changes are possible.

2) Having a plan when something happens like a death, loss of friendship/relationship, loss of job, all the stuff that happens in life. I call my sponsor and increase meetings which gets me through the toughest part. Last week my dog died and I'm still mourning. It will take as long as it takes.

D122y

Gue,

True. A quick fix is a big part of drinking.

I got addicted at a very young age and I didn't realize or care that I drank all the time until I had a few physical issues.

Then I began to learn, sr was my savior, and so far that education has kept me this clean.

I crave hardest during the holidays. I used to be drunk 24 /7 starting around Halloween and not ending until well after New Years.

I thought about that today a bit

I was I'll prepared as a youth for addiction. My body and luck held up for a while. I could perform some amazing tasks until about 30. My mind was damaged early. My motivation suffered.

Now I am aware. I thank God daily for my clean days.

Thanks.

nez

It took me awhile but I finally tuned into the fact that not drinking provides me with instant gratification of a different nature. One steeped in gratitude. The last years of my drinking and struggling with relapses provided no gratification whatsoever. Every time I took my first sip of yet another relapse, a voice inside me always said "crap, here we go again".

SnazzyDresser

Very good post, Guener. Well put, and your analysis is dead-on.

ScottFromWI

Absolutely, I think that need/want for instant gratification is closely tied to addiction of many kinds and carries over into daily life. The concept of Mindfulness and practicing it has really helped me in this area over the years.

August252015

Takes practice for me to quell that impulse for NOW, more often than I let it agitate me.

LaceyDallas

Gilmer

This insight is worth its weight in gold!

Thank you!

dafunbra

Great post! I want thirty years of sobriety and I want them yesterday. I want to know the outcomes of all the balls I have in the air right now, and I want it now. I am slowly learning to enjoy the journey, and that time takes time for a reason. The reason thirty years of sobriety is so special is because it took thirty years to get it. Dealing with my emotions and fears has been difficult, as I just drowned them and was numb for years and years. That was how I dealt with anything I didn't want to feel. The time I have so far, while a drop in the bucket, does give me an extraordinary sense of pride and accomplishment, which I want to continue. The instant gratification factor definitely bled over into other areas of my life, as well. Fixing me is taking time, but the ride, which I plan on taking the rest of my life, is soooo worth it.