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Is it too early in my sobriety to divorce?

Old 10-25-2018, 06:12 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Sassy-

I actually found a strong correlation between my anger & resentment and their physical impact on my body.
I think it raised my cortisol levels and that made losing weight much harder as stress response has a cascade impact on hormones (insulin resistance in particular).

I know this has been an on-going issue for you, and perhaps addressing the anger more deeply might help.
Mindfulness practice has been a game-changer for this.

It has helped me hugely, and not just in weight loss but just in being more peaceful.

By the way, I wanted to say thank you for a comment you made on Cow's thread some time ago about relapse not really being quitting so much as being "between drinks".

That was true and helpful.
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Old 10-25-2018, 08:56 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I take my tiny dog for walks instead of doing crossfit, now. But, tiny dog is desperately in love with my 21 year old daughter! This makes my 12 year old daughter somewhat despondent. 12 has to go to school, and 21 is between school and work: so tiny dog gets more attention from 21. I digress.

The husband. Sigh. Is in two bands, so he's gone two nights a week, then he has good friends at work and from college that he will go to sporting events or parties with. When I was drinking I attended with him. We went everywhere together. Now, I stay home. It looks like a drinking lifestyle from my vantage point, although when he goes out he sticks to 3-4 light beers and usually eats something, so he is not going out to get trashed. When we went out together before I quit, he usually had to hold me up I was so hammered, I would drink before and during the event, I remember little of the outings we used to take. Sometimes the next morning my entire backside down my thighs would be covered in dark bruises because I would fall off my chair.

Cruiser is probably right in that he takes credit for my sobriety even though I've told him countless times I was tired of my own indignity. But I think he's been unhappy since he realized in the last six months how unhappy I've been. He's been trying to be my partner for a while now and I just don't see him as a haven anymore, he realizes that now, and he is cranky as a result.

Ah, I am not young any more. I am just tired. Tired of him, tired of work, tired of everything. It's probably not about him. And as long as he is cranky I don't have to listen to his chatter, so there's that.
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Old 10-26-2018, 09:11 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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You are very honest with the forum on how you feel, which is a good thing.

Maybe it would be helpful to be this honest with him?
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