I’m back. Considering rehab.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 10
I’m back. Considering rehab.
Hi all.
I am a 47 year old woman who has been drinking hard since 2010. Every night with occasional 30 days abstinence runs. 2 bottles of wine a night.
I am fat. 70 lbs overweight thanks to the wine. I recently switched to beer because wine was making me sick, of course it was!
My face is red and I pour sweat 24x7 thanks to alcohol and menopause.
I recently had a few nights of crippling nerve pain in my feet and legs. 2 days in ER (2 separate trips) resulted in diagnosis of Lyme Disease. Doc put me on Doxy and Neurontin, crippling pain is gone.
Yet I still drink. So much so that even hubby suggested rehab. I am seriously considering it.
I made the mistake of watching Intervention once. The girl on there drank 2 bottles of wine a night. She had seizures if she didn’t have her next drink within 24 hours. That has scared me into being afraid to quit. Stupid, huh.
Mom, dad (he died of liver cancer) and brother are all “functioning” alcoholics. I know, no such thing.
I have so many triggers. PTSD from a couple of really bad things in my life. Bad day at work? Drink. Hubby is at a movie with his dad? Drink. Sit outside? Drink. Stressing about money? Drink.
You all know.
Tell me about rehab. Does it work? What’s it like? What’s a typical day? Is it 30 days? More? Less? My insurance will cover it and I have disability leave available from work. How do I tell my boss? I have worked for her for 8 years and never breathed a word.
And how do I tell my doctor whom I have had for years that I have this problem? I have never breathed a word to him either.
I tried AA meetings several times. It’s not for me. Tried counseling. I am an introvert who never discusses feelings. I know, I know. Excuses.
I am on Effexor for depression and anxiety. I am hypothyroid. And now I have Lyme.
Sorry to babble. I need help and thank you all for caring. It’s time.
I am a 47 year old woman who has been drinking hard since 2010. Every night with occasional 30 days abstinence runs. 2 bottles of wine a night.
I am fat. 70 lbs overweight thanks to the wine. I recently switched to beer because wine was making me sick, of course it was!
My face is red and I pour sweat 24x7 thanks to alcohol and menopause.
I recently had a few nights of crippling nerve pain in my feet and legs. 2 days in ER (2 separate trips) resulted in diagnosis of Lyme Disease. Doc put me on Doxy and Neurontin, crippling pain is gone.
Yet I still drink. So much so that even hubby suggested rehab. I am seriously considering it.
I made the mistake of watching Intervention once. The girl on there drank 2 bottles of wine a night. She had seizures if she didn’t have her next drink within 24 hours. That has scared me into being afraid to quit. Stupid, huh.
Mom, dad (he died of liver cancer) and brother are all “functioning” alcoholics. I know, no such thing.
I have so many triggers. PTSD from a couple of really bad things in my life. Bad day at work? Drink. Hubby is at a movie with his dad? Drink. Sit outside? Drink. Stressing about money? Drink.
You all know.
Tell me about rehab. Does it work? What’s it like? What’s a typical day? Is it 30 days? More? Less? My insurance will cover it and I have disability leave available from work. How do I tell my boss? I have worked for her for 8 years and never breathed a word.
And how do I tell my doctor whom I have had for years that I have this problem? I have never breathed a word to him either.
I tried AA meetings several times. It’s not for me. Tried counseling. I am an introvert who never discusses feelings. I know, I know. Excuses.
I am on Effexor for depression and anxiety. I am hypothyroid. And now I have Lyme.
Sorry to babble. I need help and thank you all for caring. It’s time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 10
More.
I am SO burned out at my job. Been in the field for 31 years, since I was 16.
Unfortunately I am paid too much to just quit and find something new. Plus I am too old at 47 to be hired.
My work is a prime example, I work at a bank. Young people are immediately snatched up, but when someone my age comes in to interview, it’s immediately assumed they are losers who can’t hold a job.
Hubby is urging me to quit. But really, what will that do? Send us into financial disaster because we need my pay.
So I drink more.
I am SO burned out at my job. Been in the field for 31 years, since I was 16.
Unfortunately I am paid too much to just quit and find something new. Plus I am too old at 47 to be hired.
My work is a prime example, I work at a bank. Young people are immediately snatched up, but when someone my age comes in to interview, it’s immediately assumed they are losers who can’t hold a job.
Hubby is urging me to quit. But really, what will that do? Send us into financial disaster because we need my pay.
So I drink more.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I think that rehab could work for you, depending of course, on what you put into it. The best way to information on rehab is to call the institution and ask the questions you have. I'm sure places vary quite a bit so calling individual places is probably the best way to find info.
I would not tell your boss, ever, nor would I tell anyone I worked with. Keep in mind that people don't understand alcoholism and there is a stigma attached to it. And, think what could happen at work if you were late or made a mistake. The first thing your boss would think would be 'Oh, is she drinking again?' There is no way that talking about alcoholism with coworkers could be beneficial.
I would not tell your boss, ever, nor would I tell anyone I worked with. Keep in mind that people don't understand alcoholism and there is a stigma attached to it. And, think what could happen at work if you were late or made a mistake. The first thing your boss would think would be 'Oh, is she drinking again?' There is no way that talking about alcoholism with coworkers could be beneficial.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Anna 
I think that rehab could work for you, depending of course, on what you put into it. The best way to information on rehab is to call the institution and ask the questions you have. I'm sure places vary quite a bit so calling individual places is probably the best way to find info.
I would not tell your boss, ever, nor would I tell anyone I worked with. Keep in mind that people don't understand alcoholism and there is a stigma attached to it. And, think what could happen at work if you were late or made a mistake. The first thing your boss would think would be 'Oh, is she drinking again?' There is no way that talking about alcoholism with coworkers could be beneficial.
I would not tell your boss, ever, nor would I tell anyone I worked with. Keep in mind that people don't understand alcoholism and there is a stigma attached to it. And, think what could happen at work if you were late or made a mistake. The first thing your boss would think would be 'Oh, is she drinking again?' There is no way that talking about alcoholism with coworkers could be beneficial.
I agree. But how do I explain WHY I need to be out? She has to provide the first approval and has to document everything. Ugh. I think a call to HR is in order.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,945
Faced 12 years ago with a job that I truly cherished the day I went back I was in so much anxiety I had to quit but I drank anyway I was possessed by the bottle what ever you do know AA works the same today as it was first written
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I felt like you do. Terrible stressful job with just OK pay and a really toxic industry, company, group and direct boss. Drinking crept up to 1.5 - 2 bottles of wine a night to far more over the weekend. Trapped and miserable.
I called in sick one day and started drinking around the clock. My doc refused to treat me anymore without a psych/addiction consult. That doctor told me that their only treatment recommendation was medical detox and at least 30 days of inpatient rehab. I said no, ubered home while shaking violently. Got there, pounded a bottle of wine before I had a seizure. Looked in the mirror and I looked like death. Entered detox 2 days later. Stayed 5 weeks. It was a life changing experience and I haven't had a drink or a line since. That was 502 days ago.
Rehab worked for me but it didn't end there. I came up with a rigorous sobriety plan. Left my job at 57 and started a new career.
Also you don't need to tell your employer why you are taking time off for medical leave and legally they can't ask.
I called in sick one day and started drinking around the clock. My doc refused to treat me anymore without a psych/addiction consult. That doctor told me that their only treatment recommendation was medical detox and at least 30 days of inpatient rehab. I said no, ubered home while shaking violently. Got there, pounded a bottle of wine before I had a seizure. Looked in the mirror and I looked like death. Entered detox 2 days later. Stayed 5 weeks. It was a life changing experience and I haven't had a drink or a line since. That was 502 days ago.
Rehab worked for me but it didn't end there. I came up with a rigorous sobriety plan. Left my job at 57 and started a new career.
Also you don't need to tell your employer why you are taking time off for medical leave and legally they can't ask.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 95
HR should be able to grant you medical leave, and they can't tell your boss why you need time off. Most in-patient rehabs are 30 day, and most are covered by insurance. I went, and would have gone earlier had I'd known how great it was. My life is 100 X's better. Also, by law, your position at the bank is safe...you will have it when you get back. Just think how much your life will change without the alcohol "ball and chain" !! Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
You sound a lot like me only I am older. I was drinking 2 bottles of wine per night also, and overweight, ect.... i didn’t go to rehab, and I had no seizures. I’m not recommending quitting without help, just pointing out that withdrawal is not the same for everyone. If you are concerned about work, maybe you should talk to your doctor who can prescribe medication to help you or can advise you. You might be able to stop over a long weekend. I quit while on vacation from work and I was doing ok about 4 days later. I am sober 63 days and doing well. I don’t do AA, but These forums help me tremendously.
Once you’re over withdrawal (whatever that will be,) you can think more clearly about your job. I started a new path in my career last fall at 54!
Wish you all the best.
Once you’re over withdrawal (whatever that will be,) you can think more clearly about your job. I started a new path in my career last fall at 54!
Wish you all the best.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi sodifficult - I'm so glad you're here. There's good advice already, so I'll just add my support & encouragement. I agree that going into treatment sounds like something that would work well for you. I'm glad you have the support of your husband. Nothing is more important than getting free of that poison & having your life back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
Yeah I did one month inpatient rehab.
Honestly it wasn't that bad. After the five day detox there, the routine was getting up seven AM, doing groups and meetings, acupuncture and meditation 2 to 3 times a week. After lunch it was the same thing group and meetings, pretty much all throughout the day, and of course they would give us some free time as well to do whatever, but most people would go workout, take walks, do activities etc. And this was the routine everyday that I was there, the weekends were more lax but it was basically the same.
Like I said it wasn't that bad, it was cool meeting people there and getting to know them. If it wasn't for the mess that I left behind before doing rehab it would have been an enjoyable experience : )
Honestly it wasn't that bad. After the five day detox there, the routine was getting up seven AM, doing groups and meetings, acupuncture and meditation 2 to 3 times a week. After lunch it was the same thing group and meetings, pretty much all throughout the day, and of course they would give us some free time as well to do whatever, but most people would go workout, take walks, do activities etc. And this was the routine everyday that I was there, the weekends were more lax but it was basically the same.
Like I said it wasn't that bad, it was cool meeting people there and getting to know them. If it wasn't for the mess that I left behind before doing rehab it would have been an enjoyable experience : )
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
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I have no experience with rehab either , … but, like Matrac , was able to quit drinking using SR .
How long ago were you able to quit for a 30 day period ? You must have been very motivated !
Those meds for Lyme should def. work better ,...and much quicker without the alcohol coursing through your system .
When I was caught up in the storm ( my addiction to booze ) …. it clouded my thinking from morning till night . I never knew the lights were off ,...until they came on after breaking free .
I have 100% confidence you can make it out .
I have no experience with rehab either , … but, like Matrac , was able to quit drinking using SR .
How long ago were you able to quit for a 30 day period ? You must have been very motivated !
Those meds for Lyme should def. work better ,...and much quicker without the alcohol coursing through your system .
When I was caught up in the storm ( my addiction to booze ) …. it clouded my thinking from morning till night . I never knew the lights were off ,...until they came on after breaking free .
I have 100% confidence you can make it out .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by topspin
.
I have no experience with rehab either , … but, like Matrac , was able to quit drinking using SR .
How long ago were you able to quit for a 30 day period ? You must have been very motivated !
Those meds for Lyme should def. work better ,...and much quicker without the alcohol coursing through your system .
When I was caught up in the storm ( my addiction to booze ) …. it clouded my thinking from morning till night . I never knew the lights were off ,...until they came on after breaking free .
I have 100% confidence you can make it out .
I have no experience with rehab either , … but, like Matrac , was able to quit drinking using SR .
How long ago were you able to quit for a 30 day period ? You must have been very motivated !
Those meds for Lyme should def. work better ,...and much quicker without the alcohol coursing through your system .
When I was caught up in the storm ( my addiction to booze ) …. it clouded my thinking from morning till night . I never knew the lights were off ,...until they came on after breaking free .
I have 100% confidence you can make it out .
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
you could try outpatient rehab after work. an addiction councillor offered that to me. I declined so I have no first-hand knowledge.
Stay close here and read all you can. This is a great resource and lots of wonderful folks.
Stay close here and read all you can. This is a great resource and lots of wonderful folks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I went off work when I quit, on disability that turned into 7 months of it, because I kept thinking it was a game, that I could learn all this stuff so that I could figure out how to drink normally again. I was a tough case. 
But eventually I cracked, and accepted the reality that there was no way out except abstinence, and life is immeasurably better now in all ways.
As noted above, the best approach here is to deal with HR, not your boss. Your boss doesn't need to know the reason you're going out, just that it's medically related and approved by HR. Chances are she already suspects you have a drinking problem - we think we're clever at hiding it, but in fact, we're not that clever.
Whether you go outpatient or inpatient is up to you and your personal situation, I did outpatient but if your husband is supportive and can manage the home while you are gone, then maybe inpatient is an option? You'll learn a tremendous amount, and it will drive home a lot of reality for you, including the reality that your problem is big enough that you need help to solve it, and that it's important enough to take time off work for.
But eventually I cracked, and accepted the reality that there was no way out except abstinence, and life is immeasurably better now in all ways.As noted above, the best approach here is to deal with HR, not your boss. Your boss doesn't need to know the reason you're going out, just that it's medically related and approved by HR. Chances are she already suspects you have a drinking problem - we think we're clever at hiding it, but in fact, we're not that clever.
Whether you go outpatient or inpatient is up to you and your personal situation, I did outpatient but if your husband is supportive and can manage the home while you are gone, then maybe inpatient is an option? You'll learn a tremendous amount, and it will drive home a lot of reality for you, including the reality that your problem is big enough that you need help to solve it, and that it's important enough to take time off work for.
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