August252015

Respectfully, Awald.....playing things by ear is a recipe for disaster for most of us, and that whole train of thought about vigilance- well, normal drinkers don't have any need to be vigilant regarding alcohol, and us alcoholics can't be. It's really an all or nothing deal, in my book.

Andante

OP: Hey guys, every time I touch a hot stove, I get burned. I figured it was because the burner was on. I just turned the burner off (or at least really low) - is it safe to touch the stove now?

18 Responses From People Who Have Been There: No. The stove is still hot. If you touch it, you'll get burned.

OP: OK, thanks for the advice. I'll play it by ear, and let you know how it goes.

Me: Why would you want to keep touching a hot stove if you keep getting burned?

blueberry2015

My sponsor always said that non alcoholic beers were for non alcoholics! Plenty of people do drink NA beer and wines and are seemingly ok with it, however from my experience non alcoholic wine (in my case) led to relapse. I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole now. If you think about it this way, would a person recovering from cocaine snort a line of sugar? Seems ludicrous to think they would. So with this in mind why would the recovering alcoholic drink something that looks, and has the taste of beer? X

blueberry2015

Personally...... I think it’s dancing with the devil. This disease will have you back in, in the blink of an eye. Why risk it? A friend of mine died the other day, 6 years sober, relapsed and continued to relapse. She DIED. Our lives are waaaaay more important than a non alcoholic beer. You do have a choice today, dance with the devil knowing it could lead to a relapse.... which you may not ever come back from. Or.... work your recovery, which means NA beers arent really advisable. Choice is yours. I wish you well x

STDragon

6 years..... oh wow. How sad.

blueberry2015

Incredibly sad Its really very upsetting

SoberCAH

I like your metaphor a lot.

I have no desire to play footsies with something that can kill me.

skyfullofstars

In July after a month sober and the temperatures soaring and World Cup fever hitting England I was tempted to have NA beers. But then I thought`it is just too tempting.

Even drinking out of a wine glass, which I did once because I was sick of drinking soft drinks out of tumbler glasses like a child, set my antenna twitching. I connected that wine glass with getting wasted on Merlot.

My main drinks were red wine and beer. So anything associated with them will trigger my addiction. I used to think I loved beer, but did I really? Allen Carr did such a good job of explaining how alcohol actually tastes foul, we just condition ourselves to like it because we like getting pissed.

I hated beer, wine, spirits the first time I tried them. I only drank alcopops. Then slowly got onto harder and harder stuff. I remember my first try of Guinness - I was nearly sick, the taste and texture was revolting. Fast forward a few years later and I can down a dozen pints of Guinness in an evening.

NA beers would be the start of a slippery slope for me so I'm not going anywhere near them. Like Dee said, there are plenty of other tasty alternatives.

August252015

I just reread this thread and something occurred to me- "we" are all in agreement that NA drinks can be bad. The interesting part to me is that each of us has some variation or something specific to us about WHY they are a bad idea.

This reminds me that no matter what we recovery program we choose, from AA to an SR based plan to SMART to... we are all alcoholics. That's the bottom line and one of the hallmark traits of our disease is that our MINDS are the problem.

However we get and stay in rcovery is a-OK - making the right choices for our unique but un-unique problem is critical.

Ken33xx

I've only known one AA member over the years who drank non-alcoholic beer and it didn't end well. For me it's simply too close to the flame.

But people are going to do what they're going to do.

Dropsie

Loved August's post. Right on.

I hate to buck the trend, but I have always drunk NA stuff when I was in the mood with no problem. Never thought it was a risk, never was a risk for ME. I also use wine glasses, have a house full of booze for hubby and friends, go to bars to socialize as we do in Belgium, yada yada.

But maybe the core issue is that it could have been a risk and I would not have known it until it was too late. Would it have been worth it -- no way. Bottom line -- better safe than sorry and playing it by ear not usually a good idea.

Reading this thread also made me realize that I hardly drink NA drinks anymore except a well made NA mojito -- yum. Maybe a few years in I have grown out of most of it. Although by now I know its not a risk, but why bother...

AWald88

Hi All

Thanks for the feedback. I thought I give an update. I get how it could easily lead me to trip up and while it looks like I'm ignoring your collective advice I am actually listening even if I disagree.

Anyway as I mentioned in my OP I grabbed a 4 pack of NA beer etc. I drank two the first day as previously described. The next day I didn't think once about alcohol. That night I drank the next two and went to bed.

The next day came and went no thoughts of booze.

Tonight was one of my trigger nights when I move to night shift at work. Traditionally this is the hardest night to resist. I briefly considered grabbing a few beers but quickly and easily ignored the craving. I then as is expected in my industry I went down to the pub with the rest of my workmates and killed a few hours before retiring to bed.

I did not drink and I didn't even want to drink. Considering how badly I've been struggling to not drink in the last few weeks I consider this a victory. I'll keep you all in the loop.

Day 152 😀😀

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear you didn't drink. This is a very addictive thought as well - unless it's specifically written into your job description by your employer, the "expectation" is really your own.

I used to test my resolve just to prove that I could hang out in the same places with the same people, and I could. After a pretty short time I realized it was really a waste of my time though. There's a whole world out there just waiting to be explored, but our addiction wants to keep us nice and cozy with our small circle of drinking buddies - it's the only way it can get us to start drinking again.

Dropsie

Scott,

Dont totally agree with the last post.

I love my friends and my local.

I dont need to drink to enjoy them.

I am not testing myself, I just dont drink period.

I do go home earlier cause at time said friends get a bit boring, but that is life, no??

I guess I am a "to each his own" kind of tee-totaller.

But I also know fo shure that my way aint the only way, just my way.

ScottFromWI

Yes, we definitely all have our own way of doing things. For me hanging out in bars is just not something I do anymore, I found a lot of new friends and new places to go and explore out that did not revolve around alcohol. And in comparison after the fact, my old hangouts seem pretty boring. I certainly keep in touch with a few key friends I had back then, but I don't hang out at the bar with them anymore. Again, just my perspective on things and may not be the same for you or others.

Perhaps my reply did not express my thoughts clearly, but I was more responding to the idea that we are "expected" to do certain things in life by others. The OP suggested that in his line of work that he was expected to hang out in bars. If the motivation to do something ( (whatever it is ) is to appease others, then it's not always a healthy thing in my opinion.

AWald88

Hi All

To clarify. I work Fly in Fly out this means that I and my family live in the city but I fly to work in the mining industry in the outback. Instead of working 5days and having a weekend I work 14 (12.5 hour) days straight (7days then 7nights) and then have 10 days off at home.

When I say I go down to the pub at work and that it's expected I perhaps give the wrong impression. The pup/tavern is pretty much the only recreation space in the camp when you can sit down with a group of people after work. It's expected as it's just a team thing.

I've told everyone I'm not drinking and apart from the normal jokes it's fine. On the occasions in the past where I am really craving a drink I've made an excuse and not come.

For me though I have only very occasionally drank to excess a pubs, usually prefering to drink alone. So the behavioral qeues are not quite so strongly ingrained on that front for me.Which fortunately makes it a bit easier.

Dee74

I felt the responsibility to drink for many years - even when I knew it was wrong for me..

All my friends drank - there wasn't much else we had in common.

Eventually I had to choose. Quit drinking or die. I chose to stop drinking and I reconnected with old friends where the glue was more than just drinking, and I made new non drinking friends.

Never been in a remote situation, but my best friend works on contract in the outback.

He works with massive machinery - he doesn't drink on the job - never has - and very rarely otherwise.

The pub and drinkers bore him to tears - he spends him time in his room and plays guitar, reads or whatnot. He still gets on with everyone.

Just saying - you can walk your own way.

D

zerominuszero20

I think what you mean is disassociating alcoholic beverages and satisfaction. Yeah, not too much different than taking one of those drugs that inhibit you from getting drunk or enjoying the effect of alcohol. I think it could work but I think it is important to state if you are drinking the 0% beer at a bar or just at home.

When a teen, no one in my family drank but we always had O'douls in the fridge which is something like a .05% near beer. My father used to like to have this when seafood was served. One day we had an overseas guest stay over who was a big alcoholic it seemed so we served him this near beer without hin knowing what it was. He said it was good beer and after about 5 or 6 said that he was a bit buzzed and drowsy and asked if he could retire early. A lot of it is psychological.

Non-acoholic beer is very popular in Europe and is sold at all stores. Me and some university buddies went there as backpackers for one Sunner. We drank a lot during those days of course and one morning one of us decided to have a beer in the morning since Europeans are pretty open to drinking at any time. you often see them having a glass of wine in the morning at the cafes. Well, this buddy of our went to the store and bought some alcohol-free beer and was saying how strong the stuff was and how he could already feel the buzz coming on after just drinking like half the bottle.

August252015

I work in the restaurant industry. My first career was in sales. I firmly believe that no job or work environment truly requires drinking. It took getting sober for me to see that in an industry where a bar is at my office 2/7, so to speak. A job that can involve lots of drinking isn't for everyone who is sober, though. And I also had to accept that losing or changing ANY job was nothing compared to keeping my sobriety.

AWald88

I'm not saying that drinking is in anyway required where I work. Most people do drink but if you don't it's no issue.

I was trying to say before that when you work in remote locations it is generally expected that you will make an effort to be part of the team. This means in my view it's expected that you should come down to the pub from time to time even if you don't drink.

I don't see any benefit to hideing myself away. If I am going to choose to drink I feel I'm more likely to if I am feeling bored and isolated than if I'm not.