Arthox

I couldn't take feeling emotionless anymore. I drank last night. I don't remember anything. It's a terrible feeling. I didn't enjoy it from what I remember, I was just bored. I'm disappointed in myself, but at least I didn't have fun? I realized I don't like the person that I've become. I can't stand to be around people, sober, and I can't stand being alone 24/7, not sober. This is tearing me apart. I'm feeling like 20 emotions per second. My face is a convulsion of laughter, crying, and pain. I'm lost.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you made it back Arthox.

I think a certain joylessness is pretty common for some of us, at least for a while.

After nearly three months I though joylessness would be the price I'd pay for being sober...but not too long after that I was able to feel joy again.

Drinking really does a number on us, mind and body - it takes a while for things to get back to normal.

It also takes a while to build a sober life that you love.

Living my old drinking life, but sober, was intolerable cos the only thing that made it tolerable was drinking.

Think about new interests, new hobbies, new ideas - I know it's hard to find the motivation to do them but it really is the way out of the cycle.

Don't give up too soon

D

JK130

You're not lost if you know where you are (disappointed and overly emotional) and where you want to be (proud and in control). Make your plan. What would give you that proud feeling again? Do more of that.

Thank you for sharing your story. Many of us kind of romanticize a relief in alcohol. You're here to tell us that it isn't so! I hope you keep on sharing as you make your life what you want it to be, however long that takes :-)

least

Don't give up! Try something different this time. Make sobriety your goal. And to strengthen your recovery, practice gratitude every day.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Arthox. It's a big adjustment to live without drinking, and it takes some time to get used to it. Many times when we quit there are all kinds of underlying issues that we need to deal with too - and they don't feel good at all to face.

I hope you can stick with us and start anew today - we're here to help.

courage2

Arthox, I feel for you! I was an empty husk of a person for a long time after I quit. I had no idea what to do -- I just trudged along.

But honestly, it was better than the misery I felt drinking in that least year or two.

What can I say? Quitting was the single best decision I ever made.

Just wait out the time it takes to get your head back together sober. The only thing that makes you think you can't stand it is the bug of addiction in your ear. You can do it!