Think I might be broken emotionally
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 34
Think I might be broken emotionally
Today is 237 days sober for me. I'm very proud of that.
However, I still find my emotional reactions to things to be very heightened, way overreacting to things that sensibly I know aren't that big a deal.
Is it normal to still have this after so long, or can alcohol abuse permanently alter your emotional state even in sobriety?
However, I still find my emotional reactions to things to be very heightened, way overreacting to things that sensibly I know aren't that big a deal.
Is it normal to still have this after so long, or can alcohol abuse permanently alter your emotional state even in sobriety?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Hi Sherlock!
For me I found out it was not that alcohol had left permanent damage rather that I never fully developed strategies to manage my emotions and this was what I used alcohol for. To even out my emotions. There’s a lot of good stuff out there on the internet and I found some books very helpful in learning to regulate my emotions without any substances, distraction or taking them out on others.
If there is one thing I’d have to pick as the foundation of my sobriety it is emotion regulation.
If you want any links or book recommendations let me know and I can send you a PM
For me I found out it was not that alcohol had left permanent damage rather that I never fully developed strategies to manage my emotions and this was what I used alcohol for. To even out my emotions. There’s a lot of good stuff out there on the internet and I found some books very helpful in learning to regulate my emotions without any substances, distraction or taking them out on others.
If there is one thing I’d have to pick as the foundation of my sobriety it is emotion regulation.
If you want any links or book recommendations let me know and I can send you a PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I felt the same way, like I was overly emotional about things. Eventually I realized that it was mostly just because I was feeling emotions that I wasn't used to feeling, since I had been fixated for so long on drinking and numbing them out. I adapted gradually, accepting emotions as a normal part of life and not letting them get in my way, but it took maybe 18 months for me to feel fully stable.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I am a very impulsive and reactive person by nature. Probably one of the major reasons I'm an addict....it's pretty impulsive by nature as well.
I had to learn that I have complete control over my actions and reactions. What other poeple do or say does not actually have to illicit any kind of 'feeling' from me unless I choose it. I also tend to take things very personally. And taking things personally means I assume I know exactly what other people mean. I've learned I often misunderstand, then react.....and I've totally got it wrong.
So I think, for me, the first step to learning emotional maturity was to pause. Just hear the other person, or observe what is being said or done. Let it soak in before I respond. I find that being re-active is almost always a bad idea. Unless I'm about to rear end someone in my car (slam on breaks) or my arm is on fire (put out fire) I can always hold my tongue or slow my reactions. Think. I have learned that most of what goes on around me needs no reaction or involvement at all. Who knew?
I had to learn that I have complete control over my actions and reactions. What other poeple do or say does not actually have to illicit any kind of 'feeling' from me unless I choose it. I also tend to take things very personally. And taking things personally means I assume I know exactly what other people mean. I've learned I often misunderstand, then react.....and I've totally got it wrong.
So I think, for me, the first step to learning emotional maturity was to pause. Just hear the other person, or observe what is being said or done. Let it soak in before I respond. I find that being re-active is almost always a bad idea. Unless I'm about to rear end someone in my car (slam on breaks) or my arm is on fire (put out fire) I can always hold my tongue or slow my reactions. Think. I have learned that most of what goes on around me needs no reaction or involvement at all. Who knew?
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 118
Originally Posted by JeffreyAK 
I felt the same way, like I was overly emotional about things. Eventually I realized that it was mostly just because I was feeling emotions that I wasn't used to feeling, since I had been fixated for so long on drinking and numbing them out. I adapted gradually, accepting emotions as a normal part of life and not letting them get in my way, but it took maybe 18 months for me to feel fully stable.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by sherlockholmes2
However, I still find my emotional reactions to things to be very heightened, way overreacting to things that sensibly I know aren't that big a deal.
I am 46 and I started drinking heavily and daily in my early 20s. So even if I wasn't an alcoholic, my emotional state now would be different then when I was in my 20s. Consider how much you have matured and all the life circumstances you have been through.
I think you are fine.
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