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Bored?

Old 08-03-2018, 11:57 AM
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Bored?

I am a little over 7 months sober. Life is going well. Work and family is great. I stay busy and have hobbies that I enjoy. The last 3 days I have had this feeling of boredom. No excitement maybe? I don't know how to explain it. I've been thinking of drinking a lot these last 3 days. I'm not alone but have feelings of loneliness. I have a friend that is drinking heavily and she is also having an affair . I talked to her about it and told her I knew about the affair ... she is not talking to me now. Drinking is consuming my thoughts lately.
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Old 08-03-2018, 12:13 PM
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Congrats on 7 months Ladybug. Sound like your addiction is talking to you....trying to convince you that you are “bored” because you aren’t drinking alcohol. It’s a common ploy....glad you came here to talk things through.

Maybe for starters you could find some other activities rather than spending time with other drinkers? There’s probably a whole list of things going on in your area that don’t involve alcohol. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but you can’t change things for her...either her drinking or her relationship problems. You can be there for support if she asks, but you are in danger of going down the drinking hole as well.
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Old 08-03-2018, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Congrats on 7 months Ladybug. Sound like your addiction is talking to you....trying to convince you that you are ďboredĒ because you arenít drinking alcohol. Itís a common ploy....glad you came here to talk things through.

Maybe for starters you could find some other activities rather than spending time with other drinkers? Thereís probably a whole list of things going on in your area that donít involve alcohol. Iím sorry to hear about your friend, but you canít change things for her...either her drinking or her relationship problems. You can be there for support if she asks, but you are in danger of going down the drinking hole as well.
Thanks Scott. My mind goes to that first buzz of alcohol and I have to force my mind to think of the day after and that has helped so far. I told my friend that I'm not judging her I'm just concerned about her and I'm here if she needs to talk. Her situation maybe what's bringing on this funk I'm going thru because her and her husband are/were very close friends. My husband drinks everyday so I'm exposed to that all the time. Sometimes it's an issue but for the most part it's not because my drink of choice was wine and vodka; he drinks beer. Thanks again for taking the time to talk to me. I truly would not be where I am today if it wasn't for SR! I appreciate this place more than anyone could imagine!
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Old 08-03-2018, 12:37 PM
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Romancing alcohol is harmful to sobriety. I suggest walking the drink through to the end: blackouts, hangovers, loosing people, places and things. Also, remember all feelings pass, the bad ones and the good ones. Do you have a program, other sober people you can call?
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Old 08-03-2018, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr View Post
Romancing alcohol is harmful to sobriety. I suggest walking the drink through to the end: blackouts, hangovers, loosing people, places and things. Also, remember all feelings pass, the bad ones and the good ones. Do you have a program, other sober people you can call?
Thank you NYC, yes, I am making myself remember the day after shame and pain and that seems to be the only thing keeping me from grabbing a bottle of wine. The only program I have is SR. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I have kept this journey personal.
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Old 08-03-2018, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyBug66 View Post

The only program I have is SR. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I have kept this journey personal.
Restless, irritable and discontent.

Does that ring any bells? It's the state of the alcoholic without a program of recovery. Maybe now would be a good time to rethink your own plan. Maybe try working a program and see if it makes a difference to you as it does for so many others. Wouldnt it be great to feeling like you were LIVING sober, and not just living SOBER? It's there for the taking.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
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Old 08-03-2018, 05:05 PM
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I think a lot of us use the blanket term bored to cover a multitude of things - restlessness, discomfort, resentment, loneliness, depression...

You may be hearing that a drink will fix it, but of course it won't and we really need to remember that.

There are other ways to deal with those emotions.

maybe this weekend is a good one to connect in a non alcohol related way with another friend or something?

D
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:25 PM
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I'm at almost 10 months and I went through the boredom phase. I was sitting around in the afternoon at the weekends bored and dispirited. I was looking for something to do at the weekend, outdoors, with some exercise. I remembered how I used to like golf as a kid and I forced myself to take part again.

Fast forward 3 months and it's now 7am, I'm up and ready for a round and my friend is coming (also sober) and we are going out for our weekly friendly game.

This is just one example but boredom can be tackled and beaten.

Good luck x
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Old 08-05-2018, 12:48 AM
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I went hiking today, didn't really feel like going but forced myself to. Turns out the mountain I look at every day which I assumed was filled with the typical desert shrubs that inhabit the city, is actually a lush pine forest at the top with a plethora of hiking trails. I've lived here for well over a year and no kidding had no idea until now.

Not only did it cure my "boredom", but it went to show how there can be solutions and good things hiding out in plain sight.. I just have to be willing to look for them. I know that probably sounds annoying and cliche but basically wanted to say if your current hobbies or social circles aren't doing it for you, keep searching!
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Old 08-05-2018, 01:51 AM
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Originally Posted by LadyBug66 View Post
Thanks Scott. My mind goes to that first buzz of alcohol and I have to force my mind to think of the day after and that has helped so far.
I find writing a list of pros and cons helps dispel notions about drinking.
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Old 08-05-2018, 02:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Gerard52 View Post
I find writing a list of pros and cons helps dispel notions about drinking.
I agree, it's a good thing to do. I've written notes and pros and cons lists over the past few years, it was helpful and I still refer back to them now. Initially I had a few pros on my lists but in time they were all removed and I just ended up with a long list of cons.
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