Mtphc

Hey everybody, it's great to be at one month again, I feel soo much better now. But just looking back at how bad this last relapse was just astounds me. I guess alcoholism could be a really serious thing. Thankfully I made it through and I'm sober now which I really thought was going to be impossible.

Just can't believe I ended up in this mess all because I was just trying to self medicate with alcohol as a coping mechanism, and having an effed-up relationship since forever hasn't been helping me the least bit, but you know it's tough once you have kids in the picture I can't just turn my back on them, but having that mindset has led to extreme stress, anxiety, and really bad insomnia, this is why I would drink in excess. Now I crossed this line and now know for a fact that returning to normal drinking is just not going to happen, and I don't want to now I just want to stay sober forever if I can and enjoy my family.

SnazzyDresser

Good going, Mtphc!

RDBplus3

To me, it's not really a 'relapse' if a person never actually got 'free' .

I went for a long time, forcing myself 'not to drink', but still being the person that needed to drink 'to cope', or to get some 'relief', or whatever the 'reason' was I felt like I needed a drink. I WAS THE TRIGGER.

Thru deep immersion in the teachings of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, thru actually Working the 12 Steps and Practicing the Principals in ALL My Affairs, I eventually experienced the FREEDOM from the cycle of obsessions to drink, then having little to no control of what happened when I did drink, then obsessing to drink after I sobered up, then ....

Until the experience of truly being FREE, I didn't 'relapse' every time I drank again, between bouts of forcing myself 'not to drink'. I was just still going thru the cycles of addiction / alcoholism.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... And I KNOW U Can B 2

Dee74

congrats on your month

D

Stayingsassy

I'm happy you're back to a month! No looking back. No worries about the relationship. Or guilt about the kids.

You ARE presently doing everything you need to be doing to be the best father, husband and person. Just leave it all as is. No major life changes. Let the dust settle in sobriety.

Long term committed sobriety changes people and situations in surprising ways. Sometimes good and sometimes bad, like life. Let real life unfold.

You sound to me like you know, now. There's not a hint of denial in the way you are speaking about this. let this relapse be what gives you a final commitment. My last relapse did it for me and I'm done. You can be done, too.

Hevyn

A whole month - how wonderful. Very proud of you, Mtphc.

TheSoberDude

Congrats! Relapses are always tough. You tend to drink more than what you did prior! It’s a good thought to analyze before picking up that drink.

Stronger2017

Well done on the month👍

Gottalife

Hi Mtphc, sounds a bit like you have tried the path of "just don't drink and that should do the trick" and found it is not that effective. To me, just not drinking was a form of controlled drinking, and I never could maintain that control long term.

I found I had to do more in order to recover. Infact I did pretty much what RDBplus3 describes above. Freedom like I couldn't beieive was the result.

I did what he did and got what he got. Maybe you could too, if you honestly want to and are willing to make the effort.,

Quit290117

Well done on one month👏👏👏

Mtphc

You're right I do have to at least try working the 12 steps, it won't hurt to at least try it out, even though I do have a difficult time moving forward with it. I do have my sponsor and everything and he's ready to help out with that, I just have to start working on it, and start taking this different approach.

Mtphc

Thanks Stayingsassy

Yes, I have definitely learned something from this last relapse. I realized that even after being sober for months I'm still going to end right back where I left off with the drinking, so this time around I'm really determined to stay sober and not going back.

Mtphc

This comment that "you tend to drink more than you did prior" is so true. As soon as I took that first drink it's like I just went crazy with it and couldn't stop, still can't believe it

NYCDoglvr

I'm glad you made it back. Most people don't.

Mtphc

Thanks, I'm really glad too. Now I have a bunch of stuff I have to address because if my relapse that I went through, but I'll take it, at least I'm sober now and out of that misery.

Dropsie

Loved your post -- just get rid of the "if I can". you can. you have.

Congrats.

Mtphc

Thanks!

I know I can, and I will do this.

JOHNNIEH63

Hi Mtphc,

Many congrats on the month
I've just got to 2 months, and I'm feeling indescribably more happy.
As you say, "I know I can" ..... and you will !!
Very best wishes,
Johnnie.

August252015

Serious - and deadly. It's not about being a good or a bad person, or whatever other conditions or "qualifications" anyone does or does not have....this disease simply does not discriminate. And some of us have it.

As the Big Book and also one of my friends in my regular group always says - "What is the solution?" He always adds, "when drinking and drugging stopped working for me, what was I willing to do about it?"

IMO - and IME- everything and everyone in an alcoholic's life only benefits if we choose recovery.

I hope you read around and look for stories that resonate with you.

Dave42001

Kudos on 30 days!!