Hello all. Rock bottom again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 49
Hello all. Rock bottom again.
Just letting u all know i have hit rock bottom again...ive been drinking heavily, lost my job due to a lay off but i think it had something to do with my boozing n unreliability, lost my little apartment, now i been sleeping in my truck for a good month and a half trying not to lose that too. Been job hunting had some interviews with good jobs i wanted....nothing yet. Anyway all this **** is from drinking im 29 and my life is crap. Boo hoo poor me but yeah this sucks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
So sorry you’re struggling. That is exactly why I actually disagree with the term “rock bottom”; I know what is intended by it, but the truth is that while we are actively using, things can always get worse. It’s an unfortunate reality. Any supposed “rock bottom” is made of glass, in my opinion.
Remember that drinking will only exacerbate the problems you are experiencing! It can get worse if we keep drinking, but it can get better if we work at it. Do you go to AA meetings? That would be a great place to start!! Hang in there!
Remember that drinking will only exacerbate the problems you are experiencing! It can get worse if we keep drinking, but it can get better if we work at it. Do you go to AA meetings? That would be a great place to start!! Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Welcome back Nate. I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time, but you’ve done a brave thing reaching out for support🙂 I’ve found reading and posting to SR has been really helpful in keeping me sober the last eight months. Maybe you could try adding that to your recovery plan. Anyway, whatever you decide to do, know you’re not alone in this.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Welcome back, Nate! Alcoholism is progressive. I experienced that in my case, and it sounds like you're experiencing that yourself. I hope you're ready to work on your sobriety in order to get your life back on track.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 49
Hello again all well today was a bad day i got turned down from ANOTHER good job i interviewd for. Man that really hit hard. For everyone asking, i have not checked out aa yet and yes i want to get sober. I was sober for 8 months from 2014 to 2015 and nothing but good things happened i got in shape found a good woman and scored a 6 figure job with benefits. From january of 2015 to now ive drank pretty hard n lost every good thing i worked for and its all due to alcohol i dont care what anyone says alcohol is a horrible drug. What should i do? How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
An old biker my dad used to run with once told me
"As long as you don't drink...everything else is subject to change"
Meaning...if you think s#it is bad now...the only thing booze will do for you is deliver constant misery.
At least this way...there's always hope.
You gotta hang in there. Keep posting and keep talking to us.
"As long as you don't drink...everything else is subject to change"
Meaning...if you think s#it is bad now...the only thing booze will do for you is deliver constant misery.
At least this way...there's always hope.
You gotta hang in there. Keep posting and keep talking to us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Niagara Region, ON, Canada
Posts: 89
Hi Nate. Sorry to hear you're struggling but very happy you're here.
I found myself in a similar situation to you. I was out of a job - very much like you my contract wasn't renewed - I found out later this was indeed due to how unreliable and unfocused I was thanks to my drinking. Two months after I got sober I was evicted from my apartment for not paying my rent for several months while drinking.
Long story short: two years later I'm still sober (by the grace of my HP and some bloody hard work), I have a job which I love (I started 3 months after I got sober), a new place and I'm in a debt management program to pay back those I owe. Oh and after "coming out" as an alkie and getting a good handle on sobriety I was also offered a new contract at my old place.
That said, it took me months to get over my pity party and be able to show some gratitude for everything I have now. To be honest it's only been recently I have actually really come to the realisation that if I was still drinking my life would not be what it is today. To be able to say with certainty that I wouldn't have all these good things in my life if I was still drinking is a wonderful feeling although I would be lying if I said it was easy. It's work, but the alternative is infinitely worse.
You have to give yourself a fighting chance. Put down the bottle, apply for any and every job you are physically capable of doing (yes, even minimum wage ones) and find a recovery program/plan that works for you. It's hard and yep, it really does suck, but it WILL be worth it if you give it enough time.
Please don't give up.
I found myself in a similar situation to you. I was out of a job - very much like you my contract wasn't renewed - I found out later this was indeed due to how unreliable and unfocused I was thanks to my drinking. Two months after I got sober I was evicted from my apartment for not paying my rent for several months while drinking.
Long story short: two years later I'm still sober (by the grace of my HP and some bloody hard work), I have a job which I love (I started 3 months after I got sober), a new place and I'm in a debt management program to pay back those I owe. Oh and after "coming out" as an alkie and getting a good handle on sobriety I was also offered a new contract at my old place.
That said, it took me months to get over my pity party and be able to show some gratitude for everything I have now. To be honest it's only been recently I have actually really come to the realisation that if I was still drinking my life would not be what it is today. To be able to say with certainty that I wouldn't have all these good things in my life if I was still drinking is a wonderful feeling although I would be lying if I said it was easy. It's work, but the alternative is infinitely worse.
You have to give yourself a fighting chance. Put down the bottle, apply for any and every job you are physically capable of doing (yes, even minimum wage ones) and find a recovery program/plan that works for you. It's hard and yep, it really does suck, but it WILL be worth it if you give it enough time.
Please don't give up.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by natehamburg 
How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
Personally I remember say three years ago getting up each morning feeling crappy from last night's drinking and telling myself. "OK I won't drink today". Then in the evening of the same day I was drinking again feeling like a loser. Back then this pattern repeated itself over and over. Every. Single. Day.
Today I'm up bright and early and I'm sober because.... wait for it.... I didn't drink last night. It's a good day for me and it can be for you too. It does take time. I wish you the best in your life.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by natehamburg
What should i do? How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
by looking into aa i dont mean go to a meeting and make a decision kf its for you or not on one meeting. more go to different meetings for a month,talk to others before and after meetings, and read the bb to find out exactly what the program is about and what it can do for you and your life.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by natehamburg
I was sober for 8 months from 2014 to 2015 and nothing but good things happened i got in shape found a good woman and scored a 6 figure job with benefits.
From january of 2015 to now ive drank pretty hard n lost every good thing i worked for and its all due to alcohol i dont care what anyone says alcohol is a horrible drug.
What should i do? How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
From january of 2015 to now ive drank pretty hard n lost every good thing i worked for and its all due to alcohol i dont care what anyone says alcohol is a horrible drug.
What should i do? How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
What should you do? Quit drinking - see paragraph 2 for reference.
How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me? If you quit drinking you will have the opportunity to feel good and have things to look forward to - see your first paragraph.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Quitting drinking seems the obvious thing to do, but if you want some happiness as well, there might be more to it. My experience was that quitting drinking and doing nothing about my alcoholism, was an extremely unpleasant and unrewarding business.
My rock bottom, wasn’t so much about losing everything, in any case you still got your truck, I was down to a plastic rubbish bag, it was a point I reached where I was willing to do anything to stop the misery, even turn to my Creator for help. Self reliance had failed completely.
What I found was that my drinking was just a symptom of an underlying disorder, an inability to live life in a satisfactory way. I was so off beam with pretty much everything. I reached a place where I was down to a simple choice between two options. Die an alcoholic death ( however long that might take) or accept spiritual help. I chose the latter because I really wanted to and was willing to make the effort, and there began my journey in AA.
I was then 22 years old, unlikely to see 23, now I am 61 and have not needed to take a drink in all that time. Most at all my life has been satisfying in a way I never dreamed of.
There was something else in your post which reminded me of what sometimes happens in AA. It is sometimes called the three step. A new guy comes along, stops drinking, gets the job, the wife, the car, thinks he is there, drifts away from what was keeping him sober and....day one again.
I have discovered early on if I want to feel good, I have to do good.
My rock bottom, wasn’t so much about losing everything, in any case you still got your truck, I was down to a plastic rubbish bag, it was a point I reached where I was willing to do anything to stop the misery, even turn to my Creator for help. Self reliance had failed completely.
What I found was that my drinking was just a symptom of an underlying disorder, an inability to live life in a satisfactory way. I was so off beam with pretty much everything. I reached a place where I was down to a simple choice between two options. Die an alcoholic death ( however long that might take) or accept spiritual help. I chose the latter because I really wanted to and was willing to make the effort, and there began my journey in AA.
I was then 22 years old, unlikely to see 23, now I am 61 and have not needed to take a drink in all that time. Most at all my life has been satisfying in a way I never dreamed of.
There was something else in your post which reminded me of what sometimes happens in AA. It is sometimes called the three step. A new guy comes along, stops drinking, gets the job, the wife, the car, thinks he is there, drifts away from what was keeping him sober and....day one again.
I have discovered early on if I want to feel good, I have to do good.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
What Scott said in his last comment. Exactly.
The ONLY way my head could clear and I could figure out how to live the rest of my life - THEN deal with situations, losses, and emotions ie happiness- was to STOP DRINKING.
I didn't have years to put off the decision by the time I made it. You're posting here so you have a phone and internet or a computer - you have transportation- don't drink and drive, and I'm also another person who will say go straight to AA.
IMO we do NOT get unlimited chances to quit. I hope you take one now.
The ONLY way my head could clear and I could figure out how to live the rest of my life - THEN deal with situations, losses, and emotions ie happiness- was to STOP DRINKING.
I didn't have years to put off the decision by the time I made it. You're posting here so you have a phone and internet or a computer - you have transportation- don't drink and drive, and I'm also another person who will say go straight to AA.
IMO we do NOT get unlimited chances to quit. I hope you take one now.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by natehamburg
Hello again all well today was a bad day i got turned down from ANOTHER good job i interviewd for. Man that really hit hard. For everyone asking, i have not checked out aa yet and yes i want to get sober. I was sober for 8 months from 2014 to 2015 and nothing but good things happened i got in shape found a good woman and scored a 6 figure job with benefits. From january of 2015 to now ive drank pretty hard n lost every good thing i worked for and its all due to alcohol i dont care what anyone says alcohol is a horrible drug. What should i do? How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
How are you supposed to feel good? Not easy when your life is in complete disarray.
Ultimately, only I could decided when enough was enough. Not loved ones, friends, loss of employment ect was going to get me to stop.
Took a good five years bouncing around the bottom before I decide I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
So I checked out AA. Have been a member ever since
Can`t hurt going to a couple of meetings.
Good luck!!.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by natehamburg
What should i do? How am i supposed to feel good when i got nothing good going for me?
The fact is that alcohol has proven to you 100% that it is a problem starter, not a solver.
The only other option is to trust your own problem solving skills, which have proven to you to be 100% capable.
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