Drinking soon after my detox
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Drinking soon after my detox
Well, I messed up (again)...
After getting myself into a really bad state (vomiting, not eating, hospitalising myself due to seizures and resulting head injury) etc. etc. my alcohol councelor and mental health care worker got me into inpatient detox for 3 weeks. They worked very hard to do this and got me scarce funding and a priority place for a local rehab for which I was hugely grateful.
So, on getting out I tried to do all the right things. I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on. After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks. I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
I feel I am back where I started. I want to quit drinking entirely - I'm meeting my mental health consultant this week and need to be sober for that. I'm worried about having another seizure though or worse. I'm not going to be able to go back to inpatient and the doctors in the UK won't give me drugs for a safe home detox so I'm going to have to do this the hard way.
I'm hoping to make tomorrow my Day 1 but I'm scared of the medical consequences. I'll try to post here more often though.
Wish me luck... thanks for reading...
After getting myself into a really bad state (vomiting, not eating, hospitalising myself due to seizures and resulting head injury) etc. etc. my alcohol councelor and mental health care worker got me into inpatient detox for 3 weeks. They worked very hard to do this and got me scarce funding and a priority place for a local rehab for which I was hugely grateful.
So, on getting out I tried to do all the right things. I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on. After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks. I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
I feel I am back where I started. I want to quit drinking entirely - I'm meeting my mental health consultant this week and need to be sober for that. I'm worried about having another seizure though or worse. I'm not going to be able to go back to inpatient and the doctors in the UK won't give me drugs for a safe home detox so I'm going to have to do this the hard way.
I'm hoping to make tomorrow my Day 1 but I'm scared of the medical consequences. I'll try to post here more often though.
Wish me luck... thanks for reading...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Forwards 
Well, I messed up (again)...
After getting myself into a really bad state (vomiting, not eating, hospitalising myself due to seizures and resulting head injury) etc. etc. my alcohol councelor and mental health care worker got me into inpatient detox for 3 weeks. They worked very hard to do this and got me scarce funding and a priority place for a local rehab for which I was hugely grateful.
So, on getting out I tried to do all the right things. I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on. After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks. I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
I feel I am back where I started. I want to quit drinking entirely - I'm meeting my mental health consultant this week and need to be sober for that. I'm worried about having another seizure though or worse. I'm not going to be able to go back to inpatient and the doctors in the UK won't give me drugs for a safe home detox so I'm going to have to do this the hard way.
I'm hoping to make tomorrow my Day 1 but I'm scared of the medical consequences. I'll try to post here more often though.
Wish me luck... thanks for reading...
After getting myself into a really bad state (vomiting, not eating, hospitalising myself due to seizures and resulting head injury) etc. etc. my alcohol councelor and mental health care worker got me into inpatient detox for 3 weeks. They worked very hard to do this and got me scarce funding and a priority place for a local rehab for which I was hugely grateful.
So, on getting out I tried to do all the right things. I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on. After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks. I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
I feel I am back where I started. I want to quit drinking entirely - I'm meeting my mental health consultant this week and need to be sober for that. I'm worried about having another seizure though or worse. I'm not going to be able to go back to inpatient and the doctors in the UK won't give me drugs for a safe home detox so I'm going to have to do this the hard way.
I'm hoping to make tomorrow my Day 1 but I'm scared of the medical consequences. I'll try to post here more often though.
Wish me luck... thanks for reading...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Forwards
Well, I messed up (again)...
After getting myself into a really bad state (vomiting, not eating, hospitalising myself due to seizures and resulting head injury) etc. etc. my alcohol councelor and mental health care worker got me into inpatient detox for 3 weeks. They worked very hard to do this and got me scarce funding and a priority place for a local rehab for which I was hugely grateful.
So, on getting out I tried to do all the right things. I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on. After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks. I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
I feel I am back where I started. I want to quit drinking entirely - I'm meeting my mental health consultant this week and need to be sober for that. I'm worried about having another seizure though or worse. I'm not going to be able to go back to inpatient and the doctors in the UK won't give me drugs for a safe home detox so I'm going to have to do this the hard way.
I'm hoping to make tomorrow my Day 1 but I'm scared of the medical consequences. I'll try to post here more often though.
Wish me luck... thanks for reading...
After getting myself into a really bad state (vomiting, not eating, hospitalising myself due to seizures and resulting head injury) etc. etc. my alcohol councelor and mental health care worker got me into inpatient detox for 3 weeks. They worked very hard to do this and got me scarce funding and a priority place for a local rehab for which I was hugely grateful.
So, on getting out I tried to do all the right things. I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on. After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks. I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
I feel I am back where I started. I want to quit drinking entirely - I'm meeting my mental health consultant this week and need to be sober for that. I'm worried about having another seizure though or worse. I'm not going to be able to go back to inpatient and the doctors in the UK won't give me drugs for a safe home detox so I'm going to have to do this the hard way.
I'm hoping to make tomorrow my Day 1 but I'm scared of the medical consequences. I'll try to post here more often though.
Wish me luck... thanks for reading...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Forwards
I'm very sorry to hear you're still struggling.
classic alcoholic hamster wheel thinking tho.
Worried about what damage you've done - and then drinking some more...which makes you more fearful of the damage you've done.
It's going to take strength and commitment to break that cycle.
It's going to need a good support structure too - and for you to use that support structure.
Sounds like its going to take more than that for you Forwards. Some of us are in way deep.
Going to AA is great - but getting numbers and calling folks when you're in trouble is better.
How long did you go to meetings for?
Did you consider getting a sponsor?
Swimming and eating well are great components of a recovery plan, but a good recovery plan needs to be about what to do if I want to drink.
Checking here in here is great too - but just reading and lurking may not be enough for you.
There's a real commitment in posting here every day - even if you feel fine that day you can help others.
You'll make connections too, and cyber friendships.
Making connections is a great way to weaken that addictive urge, and posting here before you drink can really help you make the decision to not drink.
Reading recovery literature is great too - but unless we translate what we read into action, we may as well be reading Archie comics.
I had to fight for my life Forwards and I was scared enough of dying to be a bare knuckle no holds barred dirty street fighter to beat my addiction.
Throw everything you have at it.
Every single time you have the urge or the fear grips you , fight it.
Call for reinforcements.
Ask for help and ideas.
There's no magic to staying sober - we just gotta start to consistently make good choices.
take care man - really wishing you the best in this.
D
ps If I sound harsh, I'm sorry - we go back a long way and I'm really worried for you man.
I hope that concern shows through.
D
I'm very sorry to hear you're still struggling.
I feel that my drinking past is catching up on me fast and I am terrified of the consequences. This is a constant worry and the temptation of temporary relief through alcohol was too much to resist.
Worried about what damage you've done - and then drinking some more...which makes you more fearful of the damage you've done.
It's going to take strength and commitment to break that cycle.
It's going to need a good support structure too - and for you to use that support structure.
I went to AA, went swimming, ate well, checked in to SR daily, did some recovery reading and so on.
Going to AA is great - but getting numbers and calling folks when you're in trouble is better.
How long did you go to meetings for?
Did you consider getting a sponsor?
Swimming and eating well are great components of a recovery plan, but a good recovery plan needs to be about what to do if I want to drink.
Checking here in here is great too - but just reading and lurking may not be enough for you.
There's a real commitment in posting here every day - even if you feel fine that day you can help others.
You'll make connections too, and cyber friendships.
Making connections is a great way to weaken that addictive urge, and posting here before you drink can really help you make the decision to not drink.
Reading recovery literature is great too - but unless we translate what we read into action, we may as well be reading Archie comics.
I had to fight for my life Forwards and I was scared enough of dying to be a bare knuckle no holds barred dirty street fighter to beat my addiction.
Throw everything you have at it.
Every single time you have the urge or the fear grips you , fight it.
Call for reinforcements.
Ask for help and ideas.
There's no magic to staying sober - we just gotta start to consistently make good choices.
take care man - really wishing you the best in this.
D
ps If I sound harsh, I'm sorry - we go back a long way and I'm really worried for you man.
I hope that concern shows through.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Forwards, I'm sorry that you're struggling, but it's good that you are back here. You're caught in the vicious cycle of being afraid of the consequences of drinking, so drinking again in an attempt to feel better. I was there, too, and it's a miserable place to be. I hope you do whatever it takes to not take that first drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Thanks guys for the replies. I've read the AVRT thread and it was most helpful.
Dee, you make some good suggestions. I'm clearly going to have to put in more effort if I'm going to beat this but I want it better directed this time. I was very unwell last time around and I never want to go back there.
Here's to Day 1...
Dee, you make some good suggestions. I'm clearly going to have to put in more effort if I'm going to beat this but I want it better directed this time. I was very unwell last time around and I never want to go back there.
Here's to Day 1...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Forwards
Thanks guys for the replies. I've read the AVRT thread and it was most helpful.
Dee, you make some good suggestions. I'm clearly going to have to put in more effort if I'm going to beat this but I want it better directed this time. I was very unwell last time around and I never want to go back there.
Here's to Day 1...
Dee, you make some good suggestions. I'm clearly going to have to put in more effort if I'm going to beat this but I want it better directed this time. I was very unwell last time around and I never want to go back there.
Here's to Day 1...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Forwards
Well my Day 1 failed. I had terrible nightmares overnight and woke with a sense of anxiety and doom. I picked up a drink and it helped. Going for Day 1 tomorrow...
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Forwards
Well my Day 1 failed. I had terrible nightmares overnight and woke with a sense of anxiety and doom. I picked up a drink and it helped. Going for Day 1 tomorrow...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Been there. Done that. The end of my drinking was a 6 month roller coaster that involved detox, rehab, drink. Then detox and a psych ward, rehab (left early), drink. Finally in June of 2015 I went to detox, and rehab and did whatever the told me to do - go to sober living, get a sponsor, work the steps etc. I really had to make my entire first year all about getting sober (left my friends, family and job behind seeking sobriety). 3 years later (next month) I have a lovely home, a great job in my career field, rebuilding my credit, solid friendships, a peace and serenity I never knew possible and the desire to drink has been lifted from me. It was, however, hard work. I had to be "all in." 100% I put my heart and soul into staying sober and I succeeded. You can too. Don't give up, you're story is not over yet. I believe in you.
XOXO,
Bunny
XOXO,
Bunny
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I'm glad you're back.
However, if you've had seizures before, I'd get to the emergency room asap. I've been there and that s#it can cause lasting brain damage.
I hope you find what you need to stay sober. This life is beautiful and SO worth the early discomfort. You just gotta hang in there. To quote one of my favorite shows, "..just survive somehow" It will be worth it.
However, if you've had seizures before, I'd get to the emergency room asap. I've been there and that s#it can cause lasting brain damage.
I hope you find what you need to stay sober. This life is beautiful and SO worth the early discomfort. You just gotta hang in there. To quote one of my favorite shows, "..just survive somehow" It will be worth it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by Forwards
Well my Day 1 failed. I had terrible nightmares overnight and woke with a sense of anxiety and doom. I picked up a drink and it helped. Going for Day 1 tomorrow...
I learned eventually that the doom and anxiety got better after a few days if I stayed sober...drinking on those feelings just puts me back into the hamster wheel.
If doom and anxiety scare and discomfort you and the only tool you have for that is drinking then you're pretty much stuck in a loop.
what other ways could you dispel or at least minimise the doom and gloom?
gettign outside was good for me, as was doing mundane tasks like cleaning...talking to people who understand, or even seeing my Dr were other things I did.
I tried to be gentle with myself and above all reassure myself I'd feel better soon if I stayed sober.
You need a plan Forwards.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by Sohard
If I were you? Well, I'd pour two more drinks right now. Dump the rest. Enjoy the 2. Then go straight to bed. This way I could get up tomorrow saying "Day 1 of falling sleep without passing out first already done. Now I'm really on my way!"
I'd drink those two...and if I didn't run out in a panic to get to the liquor store before it closed, I'd be awake all night obsessing all night about how much being sober sucks and I'd be outside waiting for the store to open in the morning.
alcohol to me is like gasoline on a fire,
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by Forwards
After 10 days however I relapsed and have been drinking all day every day for the last two and a half weeks
Do the right thing, don't become just another statistic.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Bunny211
Been there. Done that. The end of my drinking was a 6 month roller coaster that involved detox, rehab, drink. Then detox and a psych ward, rehab (left early), drink. Finally in June of 2015 I went to detox, and rehab and did whatever the told me to do - go to sober living, get a sponsor, work the steps etc. I really had to make my entire first year all about getting sober (left my friends, family and job behind seeking sobriety). 3 years later (next month) I have a lovely home, a great job in my career field, rebuilding my credit, solid friendships, a peace and serenity I never knew possible and the desire to drink has been lifted from me. It was, however, hard work. I had to be "all in." 100% I put my heart and soul into staying sober and I succeeded. You can too. Don't give up, you're story is not over yet. I believe in you.
XOXO,
Bunny
XOXO,
Bunny
I am 7 months sober and I still say every day that my sobriety comes before everyone and everything, and if any part of my life even whispers of threatening my sobriety it is gone.
Yes the commitment is total. Your whole life must be overturned. Your old self dies and a new one is born. When the old self dies, drinking becomes an impossibility and an option you will not consider again.
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