ThomPom

What are your 3 key factors / most important things / learnings in

1) on your Way to Sobriety

2) in Early Sobriety

3) Sobriety (about 3 to 9 month on, whatever feels OK for you)

Could you simmer that down into each 3 points?


I start ....

1) Getting Sober
a) Accepting, I am/was a weak-willed person that uses alcohol to numb myself
b) Seeing, that my loved ones got concerned, the harm I caused and would cause to them in future
c) Daily Journaling and reflecting about me as a drinking person in order to not want that anymore

2) Early Sobriety
a) Taking it day by day, don’t expect too much from myself, just not drinking,
b) Lots of sugar, replacing alcohol with other instant gratification things
c) My wife not bordering me, giving me room to struggle and focus on myself

3) Sobriety
a) Replacing alcohol driven routines with other things that are nice; like a “go to” instead of a “stop” approach
b) A gratitude list and again, Journaling
c) AVRT as a tool to stay sober

Maybe a shortlist may help others to clarify whats important to them and how these top points may change within that 3 phases. Of course you could also name less or more than 3 points if you feel like, but please keep it short and simple.

Thanks in advance for sharing. ThomPom

August252015

Every stage, as you call or divide them, goes back to one fundamental thing: acceptance. Alcohol will kill me, I accept that I cannot drink it normally, and the most important thing in my life is my recovery.

Everything else- the "details" if you will like my strong AA program that underpins everything in my life- comes after that.

ScottFromWI

I'm with august on Acceptance - that's one of the main keys to just about anything in life for me.

I'd also add Honesty as my other main value - if you can be honest with yourself, everything else gets a lot easier.

tomsteve

there aint no drink worthy event

i think covers all three.

Stayingsassy

I accepted that I was an alcoholic years ago, I was just working on moderation for 3-5 years.

This time I put my sobriety before everything. All my relationships, my work, my family, my biggest regrets, my most severe pain, my guilt, all vacations, all holidays, all possibly traumatic circumstances, everything.

There would be no excuse ever for any reason for me to drink. Sobriety was number one because without it? I have nothing.

I can't tell you the number of excuses and reasons I used to have for ditching sobriety in the past. I have eliminated them all. There is no reason to drink.

Everything else is just life on life's terms.

Coldfusion

H O W


Honesty

Open-mindedness

Willingness

Bunny211

1. Work hard at your sobriety and you will be rewarded in spades (Go to meetings, get a sponsor, get a home group, go to therapy, take suggestions)
2. Stick with the winners (don’t sit at the bar and drink water, stay away from chronic relapsers, call and ask folks with long term sobriety for their advice and opinions)
3. And the biggest – you CANNOT live in a void. You cannot have your drinking/drugging lifestyle and just “remove” the drink or drug. You’ll need to learn some new hobbies, get some interests, leave some friends behind, leave your GF/BF who is still actively using, and actively work towards building a life you LOVE and that you don’t need to use booze or pills to escape from.

MindfulMan

Getting sober: Whatever it takes. I never really thought about it. Woke up in detox, had a few meetings and sessions and said "that's it." I never really tried to get sober before I actually did.

In August's model, I very rapidly accepted that I had a problem, I'd never drink normally, so I took it off the table. Forever. Just got Step 1. Never "worked" it. didn't need to. Pretty much simultaneously, and unconsciously, made a Big Plan.

So yes, acceptance. The sooner, and the more complete, the better. Years of agony avoided. There was enough agony negotiating with drugs and alcohol and living the life. You're going to get there eventually, so might as well do it NOW.

Early sobriety: Whatever it takes. Try every recovery method and tool that you can. Meetings, alone, therapy, psychiatry...I took a bit of everything, and as a result the sobriety I built on Step 1 is rock solid. It's the opposite of drinking using, which is totally off the table. In recovery...NOTHING is off the table. I went to check out an AA meeting for the first time in months...ended up not happening because there were only 2 of us. But I'll go back occasionally. I'm going back to my rehab facility for my 1 year. I socialize with good friends from both rehabs. I do cognitive exercises and mindfulness studies. I don't journal...SR is kind of my journal.

For continued sobriety, integrating everything into your life. Everyone is different here. I'm so not tempted to drink, I'm really over it, so I can still see friends that drink (my true purely drinking buddies have all either gotten sober or died), so I have a rich social life. I'm putting a new career together, because the old one was making me sick, drinking was just a part of that. Live, love, and give back the new joy you have. Spread it around. And love yourself, the new you, the authentic you. Be good to yourself. Be kind to others AND yourself.

Sorry this is sort of rambling and not in a neat little package. I've really started thinking about this stuff a lot because my year is coming up on May 9.

Leaving for Coachella tomorrow! And I've hooked up with a sober group!

Gottalife

Clean house
Trust God
Help others

Faith without works is dead.

NYCDoglvr

One Day at a Time

Don't get too hungry, angry, lonely, tired.

Avoid people, places and things that can trigger a craving

uncle holmes

1 Getting sober
a. My drinking will only increase and get worse whenever I start drinking again.
b. My rock bottoms will continue to get worse as I continue to drink.
c. If I want to live I'm going to have to quit drinking for good.

2. Early sobriety
a. I've got to find out how to cope with life without ever taking a drink.
b. I have to protect my sobriety just like I would protect a baby.
c. I have to work a recovery program like my life depends on it.

3. Sobriety
a. I'm finally getting sobriety. I must make sure I never pick up a drink again.
b. It's time to start living now and establishing different interests.
c. Meetings and working the steps must always come first. After that continue to live my life.

NulaMeansZero

Accept the fact that you cannot drink alcohol. (i did and it amazing)
Realize that not everyone is the same , so advice from people (US) are like ideas, use the parts you like and apply them to your needs.
Remove yourself from certain situation till your confidence is sky high.

Congrats , sobriety is amazing, I wish you success..