Snowbie

I am 38 years old and have struggled with alcoholism for nearly my entire adult life. In my early 20s I got a second job thinking it would prevent me from drinking during idle time. It didn't work. I first met an AODA therapist almost 10 years ago. Still couldn't change my daily drinking. Fast forward...i started drinking vodka over beer and things in life quickly spiraled out of control. These past 2 1/2 years i have been in countless rehabs. I currently go to an outpatient program and was able to maintain 11 days sober until a week ago. I have been going to this place since last May (3 months inpatient) and couldn't get past more than 4 days at a pop. But something sparked a few weeks ago and in combination of my meds, groups, and using my coping skills I was able to be sober for 11 full days. I was so hopeful that was the beginning of the end of this madness. But then the light switched off by day 12 and now am back to daily drinking. Even though I take antabuse which gives me a bad reaction to alcohol. I don't know how I got sober for those 11 days and now just feel hopeless.

Anna

Hi Snowbie,

Welcome! 11 days of sobriety is a great start! But, you must not give up hope because this disease is relentless. Did something happen on Day 12 that changed your mindset? Maybe you could add something to your recovery plan to help you continue your sobriety. Be kind to yourself.

least

The reaction to antabuse can be severe. Please don't drink on it.

Need2Know

Something that worked for me was to think of AA. You need a higher power. Your higher power is Antabuse. Take it as directed by your physician and you will be free from the Demon Rum. Your higher power will set you free. Call upon it. As directed by your physician.

If you follow the simple "steps" regarding this medication, that your physician has set forth for you, you can not fail.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Snowbie; I hope that the support,encouragement and understanding that you find here , when added to your current program, will put on the path to lasting sobriety and recovery.

I have heard of very negative effects when consuming alcohol while on Antabuse. I hope that you talk to your doctor about that and that you don't consume any more alcohol while on that medication.

Again, welcome; stay close; we care.

Obladi

Snowbie, I could also drink on Antabuse. My psychiatrist upped my dose and now I definitely Can Not Drink on it. The side affects are as advertised. If you truly seriously think you can maintain sobriety with the threat of the affects, talk with your physician and believe me, it's awful.

If you think you will want to drink through it, don't try it. As others have said, it can be quite dangerous.

In my experience, both Naltrexone and Campral can be very effective at reducing cravings. Something to ask your doctor about.

O

Gottalife

Seems like you have tried everything except AA which, IME is the best way to approach AA. You may be getting close to that decision point - learn to live by spiritual principles, or face an alcoholic death. It gets a bit easier when the choices get narrowed down. Still, the first question in my mind was "how bad can an alcoholic death be" followed by "surely there must be a third alternative?"

I know the answer to both those questions today, and I've been sober by the grace of God for a very long time.

Snowbie

Thank you all for your comments and advice. I truly appreciate it. I am going to start off fresh and new tomorrow at day 1.

Sohard

Please check out the AVRT Thread under secular connections. It REALLY helped me. I've been an alcoholic for 20 years. I'm now 116 days free of it.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/260412-avrt-explained-long.html

Dropsie

How are you?

MindfulMan

Sobriety doesn't just happen. It needs a plan.

Going to rehab and doing nothing when you get out is not a plan.

AA. AVRT. Smart Recovery. Inpatient rehab followed by outpatient rehab. Psychiatric intervention. Cognitive therapy. Psychodynamic therapy. Church and faith groups. Buddhist meditation/Refuge Recovery.

Plan should be specific. If AA is the path, how many meetings a week? Which meetings? If rehab, when? Apply for outpatient when in inpatient?

Medical issues?

I attacked everything at once, left no stone unturned, tried everything, kept what fit. It's working.

I've drank and used drugs heavily on and off (mostly on) for 35 years. My last binge was drinking 5 bottles of wine a day around the clock for nearly 2 months, on top of 3 mgs of Lunesta (sleep med) per day. I required medical detox or risked severe illness and possibly death. Have residual neurological issues. Now sober almost a year.

I made a vow that my first rehab would be my last.

I do not have a lot of willpower. I'm lazy as hell, and am one of the worst procrastinators on the planet.

I just made up my mind that I was done. The rest was all to make sure I KEPT it done.

If I can do it so can you. All of us here who have remained sober didn't do so without a plan and some effort.